Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

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TwilightPrincess
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16 Dec 2019, 1:34 pm

ANGRYASPERGERINCEL wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
We don't want people who advocate the Incel ideology here.

It's a garbage ideology that has no place on WrongPlanet.


It's not an idiology, it just means it's impossible to get sex, which is what I want.


Maybe you don’t know what it means.

https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/incel/

Th word “incel” generally involves misogyny.



The Grand Inquisitor
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16 Dec 2019, 2:42 pm

The term "incel" is an irritating term, because it has 3 different definitions, and the user of the term can infer one definition while others interpret it as one of the alternate definitions. I think it would be useful if we had a different term to encapsulate people who have a very severe sex/long-term dating drought that brings with it no connotations about ideologies or anything like that.

I think the only reason that non-ideological lonely men use the term incel to describe themselves is because it quickly conveys what their problems are regarding love and dating. Like I said, there's no common non-ideological term that encapsulates the complete lack of dating and sexual experience in the same way that "incel" does, so it's easier to use one word that most people will understand than to spend a couple of sentences detailing the problem.



The Grand Inquisitor
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16 Dec 2019, 2:51 pm

ANGRYASPERGERINCEL wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
We don't want people who advocate the Incel ideology here.

It's a garbage ideology that has no place on WrongPlanet.


It's not an idiology, it just means it's impossible to get sex, which is what I want.

If literally all you were looking for was sex, then prostitution would be a valid solution for you. I think most people of your disposition who say they're looking for sex are really looking for intimacy, to both desire and be desired, which is something you can't really have with someone you're paying to be there.

I'm curious, do you want a relationship as well, or just sex? If you do want a relationship, how important is it on a scale of 1 to 10, vs how important sex is on a scale of 1 to 10?



Marknis
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16 Dec 2019, 4:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
We don't want people who advocate the Incel ideology here.

It's a garbage ideology that has no place on WrongPlanet.


When it was just called Involuntary Celibacy, it wasn’t like its current form.

Before that, there was the late Dr. Brian Gilmartin’s Love-Shyness study. I am “love-shy” in that I find asking a girl out for coffee to be extremely anxiety inducing.



Rainbow_Belle
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17 Dec 2019, 9:53 pm

The word incel looks very similar to the word incest. Another word created to insult people like loser, ret*d, idiot, stupid, etc. Overusing any word makes it meaningless and ineffective.



WantToHaveALife
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24 Dec 2019, 2:16 pm

another reminder how it also enrages me when people call it a skillset, it's a long story



Hollywood_Guy
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26 Dec 2019, 12:47 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
i know its quite common in Japan, I know that the Buddhist religion people believe in reincarnation after death, that you come back to life as a different animal, I will admit, sometimes I would like to come back as a Male Lion, their mating dance, courtship ritual, looks easier or more simple, straight to the point, no mind-games or shit-tests involved, they just get on with it.


It's sad that Christians widely believe there is no more sex or romantic partnerships in Heaven.
I grew up as Christian, so I'm familiar with it.



Leon_Trotsky
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26 Dec 2019, 6:03 pm

I have increased my self-esteem a lot since September. I remember when I was 25, I was so depressed that when someone made fun of me or I dwelled long about being a virgin, I would come very close to physically vomiting. Sometimes I would come close to actually retching, so much it affected me mentally.

But I still have a lot of work to do to block out all of the comments that I have received over the years. They keep replaying over and over, all of those "virgin loser" comments. The missing out part is depressing too, which is an issue separate from the negative comments.



MamaFrankie5259
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30 Dec 2019, 6:09 pm

I am, shall we say, of mature years (over 45 and that's all you're getting) and am asexual. Consequently, I am still a virgin. I have never had a relationship and do not want one. Doesn't bother me at all.


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WantToHaveALife
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03 Jan 2020, 8:26 pm

it's even noticeable on reddit and quora, and every other forum as well



MamaFrankie5259
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16 Jan 2020, 8:35 pm

Quora is a toxic site and I deleted from there years ago.


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Rainbow_Belle
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17 Jan 2020, 5:34 am

It would be hard coping with reddit, 4chan, quota and reliving high school trauma and all the immature BS from the low intelligent people. It was the geeks/nerds that often made something of their lives and ignore the immature BS of high school and college and had more time to focus on studies get high grades and get high paying jobs. Most of the jocks became losers: drug addicts, alcoholics, heavily in debt, criminal records and more than likely fat/obese. They peaked early and have nothing to show for it.



WantToHaveALife
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17 Jan 2020, 2:43 pm

it's just another reminder that the vast majority of people in the world who reach 30+ years of age without ever having been in a relationship before, are male.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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21 May 2020, 7:40 pm

Understand the feeling but 30 still young. Your time will come. Better late than never. Many people are in the same boat. Me included



WantToHaveALife
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30 Aug 2020, 8:56 pm

it also reminds me, some dating coaches out there, think we are in a dating/relationship apocalypse, as in, she states there are more single adults today than ever before, marriage is on the decline, the birth rate being at the lowest point in U.S. history.



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06 Sep 2020, 9:02 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
ANGRYASPERGERINCEL wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
We don't want people who advocate the Incel ideology here.

It's a garbage ideology that has no place on WrongPlanet.


It's not an idiology, it just means it's impossible to get sex, which is what I want.

If literally all you were looking for was sex, then prostitution would be a valid solution for you. I think most people of your disposition who say they're looking for sex are really looking for intimacy, to both desire and be desired, which is something you can't really have with someone you're paying to be there.

I'm curious, do you want a relationship as well, or just sex? If you do want a relationship, how important is it on a scale of 1 to 10, vs how important sex is on a scale of 1 to 10?


It seems that most of the people who bring up sex with prostitutes as an option are not from America. In this country, it is only legal in one place that's from from me. It would be prohibitively expensive to travel there, get a hotel room, and afford the rates that prostitutes charge there.