Is really "attractive looking" an individualistic opinion?

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for me it is. when i meet a woman she goes in my mind as 1. romantic. or 2 friend.
1. leads to me falling in love with them.
2. leads to loving them like a sister.

there is no overlap and one can not become the other. I won't' fall in love with a girl I see as a sister, and I won't ever see a girl I was romantically/sexual into as a sister like.

1. is frustrating to me, 2. would be frustrating to the girl. that said women who go into 2. are those who are in a relationship/married when we met. my mind cuts off all romantic/sexual thoughts for them because they are off the table.

one girl didn't tell me she was dating for 3 weeks, and her profile said single. so she got placed in 1., which lead to 10 months of hell. we don't talk anymore she blocked me, which is best I'm too loyal to end even a toxic friendship. she was really harmful to me.

perhaps. though I starting to come to the conclusion thats its best to avoid any kind or connections with others.

I would hope to find a woman who likes a man who is emotional.

The_Face_of_Boo
I tried to pm you but it would never work.

I agree with you about the driving mechanisms of attraction being controlled by group dynamics, and about females and heightism.

There is a hive-mind and I have talked about it in the past in many threads, and it is not limited to looks preference. It is far larger and more encompassing than just physical attraction. It is a massive set of self-organizing algorithms, - the memetic code.




Yes, in a very real way they are clones in that they share schemas, or what I call mind viruses that reside in their brains, - primarily in the subconscious.

The human brain, and especially NT brains, are extremely efficient copying machines, and also provide a medium or work-space for memes to compete with each other and evolve over time. The first order of business for a self-organizing algorithm is to reproduce itself, - spread the meme.

The hive mind is a type of system intelligence, not completely unlike that that keeps a school of fish together and coordinated.

Most ASD folks represent individual intelligence because they aren't so good at hosting much of the hive mind in their brains. What is hosted in their subconscious is either ignored, there is difficulty accessing it in a timely manner, or they do not receive the chemical reward for carrying out the hive-mind instructions ( a subtype of anhedonia).
Of course ASD folks do host some of these algorithms and schemas, - varying amounts of subliminal contamination from the overpowering environment of NTs.
ASD brains are just less efficient copying machines. They are the fish that often want to swim with the school, but are often confused and several steps behind.

Individuals who break away from the "norm" (hive-mind) are punished. This is carried out by other algorithms or subroutines that perform supporting functions to the overall hive mind. I describe these subroutines as part of the hive mind's "immune system".

For example, if a woman chooses to be with a shorter man, then other females will shame her for her decision, - punishment. There will be a reduction in social acceptance, and no chemical reward.
Their subconscious knows this because they are required to hand out this punishment to other women when they see transgressions of the hive mind. The situation would give them anxiety, and they would describe it as "not feeling right".

Their own impression of themselves is that they are in complete control and are making their own individual decisions. The algorithms at work reside in the subconscious where they are out of sight. They pull the strings and levers from behind the curtain so that the person only gets intuitive feelings about what they want.

People will swear up and down that this is not true and that they aren't being controlled by an invisible hive mind, yet the research you pointed out, and the great majority of the rest, point to exactly the conclusion that there is something at work there. An NT isn't born knowing this stuff, but they are born with the brain type that will quickly copy and host hive mind algorithms, and then reap the chemical rewards for allowing the hive mind to guide their behaviors.

Here's something I posted last year:

I hate when men do that, keep things bottled up, it's like talking to the walls....also when they force that "cool" image and all the confidence BS, it looks so snobbish to me. I prefer to see warts and all otherwise it's just like a theatre play.

and I wouldn't know how women usually do it, since they aren't so eager to do it with me. i've found men to be more understanding and trying to help I had more women judge me and pick on me, I feel like a freak of nature reading all this. The only people who ever beat me were women, with one exception. My dad didn't hit me ever, for example, while my mum used to beat the hell out of me.

I rarely talk about my emotions with the guys - it's usually them doing the talking and occasionally joking.



Really??? So sorry to hear that. For me a guy sharing his emotions and even "whining" is a complete emotional turn on I guess I'm an alien.

You're completely like that friend of mine I'd mentioned. He calls me his sister and has similar set of categories into which he places women.

I'm sorry women were harmful to you - it's the same with him. :/ I don't dare to help him any more since I fear more depression and hurt.

I don't agree with the above. There are intricate schemas in the neurodiverse brain that are poorly understood, and these are also subconscious and effectively copied (well, they really aren't copied as they are inherited). I've identified a dozen or so relationship traits that are common in neurodiversity, and that typically can cause a lot of trouble with NTs. In fact, if it wasn't for these preferences, it would have been far easier for neurodiverse people to adapt to dating and all the rest of the NT relationship preferences.

Also, most of these preferences are things I've experienced personally, and often with more than one girl, and which I was able to show were more common in neurodiversity.

As I've stated previously, I'm like you in that I cannot move between these categories. What I think differs between us is that I would avoid placing girls in any of these categories unless I felt it would be a good idea. Thus, I won't ask girls for a date (be with me) unless I'm close to 100% certain I wouldn't become rejected. Also, as soon as you have been rejected by as girl (like asking her for a date), then you have more or less permanently missed any possibility for a relationship with her. OTOH, if you flirt with her before so you can pick up on if she is interested or not, she won't get put into that category (past rejection) simply because you never asked. If she later does get interested in you (and your interest is still there), you can have a relationship then.

And, yes, I can understand that placing somebody in 1 that is not really interested could have really harmful effects (and it does for me too), but then as I wrote above, I rarely make that mistake. Just being interested in somebody for me does not come with harmful effects, it's when it progresses further without mutual interest that it becomes toxic.

In Kenya...




Well, the hive-mind theory of the majority of women is becoming obviously undeniable; and Janissy explained it best in previous pages why women growing with specific definitions of what's hot and what's not.

Her post deserves to be quoted again, it's something that all struggling men here should read:

Now, I have two theories why my looks is seen as Pariah/extremely unattractive in some countries like Sweden (0 matches out of 200 swipes), Ukraine (3/200), Germany (I recall it was only 1), and in mixed countries like Canada and US I only got matches with blacks, Asians, Arabs, Persians, Native americans (who are demographically few there) .... in South Africa, I got ONLY matches with blacks - while in other countries like Morocco (~70 of each 100 swipes, I reached like 140/200), Algeria(50/100), Mexico (A LOT), Santiago's Chile (very few), Philippines (crazy numbers..), South Korea (a lot), Kenya(just look above):

Theory 1: Subconscious racism, European Whites, whether they are in Europe, US, Canada, South Africa have still a strong subconscious racism against people of colors, and their women wouldn't want (probably subconsciously) to breed with one of them. As an Arab-looking, I am recognized as a "Person of color" by European whites and their descendants, while women of POC simply don't have this kind of racism. And this feeling may grew in the girl's childhood as explained by Janissy.


Theory 2: Women's subconscious hypergamy, maybe it's a woman thing after all, not just a white woman thing, for many economical and historical reasons that we all know "Whites" are seen as having the highest status in the world (racism may be related), while POC are seen less favorably status-wise.

In other term, a typical white woman doesn't want to be associated romantically with a POC like me because this would feel like a "downgrade" for her status - while a black/asian woman by being associated with me would feel like an "upgrade" for her status (this feeling might be due to internalized racism as well) because I am recognized by them as a white after all. This status thing can also be acquired in childhood as explained by Janissy.

This theory has one flaw tho: It doesn't explain the crazy number of matches in Morocco/Algeria/Tunisia and Mexico because those were thinking I am one of their people; there's no difference at all in facial features between Meghrebs and Levantines.

I am told that in India there is significant social stratification based on how pale or dark someone's skin is.

Yes, India and Pakistan are huge countries with various climates, hence various shades of colors, they sell there cosmetic products for whitening (mostly made by western brands), especially for women.

http://www.fashiontrendsinpk.com/top-5- ... men-price/

"fairness" cream lol...fairness my ass.

And Europeans tan like idiots to look less pale (though a tanned European still looks different from Indians). I would probably be really popular in India, since I am one of the palest people I know, to the point of looking unhealthy. If I got some "fairness" cream I would be mistaken for a corpse.

About the racism/bigotry from Europeans, that is probably true. I also think since there is a lot of anti-Muslim sentiment people will mistake you for Muslim and avoid you for that. I remember meeting a guy who looked Middle-eastern and I just assumed he was a Muslim, until a while later I noticed he had a necklace with a cross on it.
Another time I met an Arab who looked very European, light red hair and blue eyes. I assumed he was Dutch until he started talking Arabic with his friends/family. I assume people who look like that have an easier time in Europe. Strange how appearance can have such subconscious effects on people.

I am a half Indian half Pakistani female and I don't get a lot of people interested in me probably because of that and, of course, the whole Asperger's thing doesn't really help. My mother has friends whose daughters would bleach their skin white. It's so strange to me that these people have such internalized self hatred about their skin color. I remember reading an article that said that African women and East Indian women are the least desired "race" when it comes to relationships. However, I'm not sure how much of that is based on appearance, cultural values, religion, etc. I personally don't understand the racial preferences. It just seems all very superficial to me because there's no scientific basis for race other than that of the human race.

Bodybuilders make themselves darker to impress the judges more.

I'm not sure about this "dirty" look thing.
Perhaps at some point it was extremely advantageous to be a cave dweller, or perhaps darker skin implies "slave" or "worker caste".
I'm guessing all those people who built the pyramids were pretty dark and dirty.
I'm half Greek, so I have some color, though I normally pass for white.

edit:

Oh almost forgot!
Jacob Bronowski said that the human skin became pale during the ice-age (cave dwelling) time because dark skin people could not produce enough vitamin-D in their skin due to lack of sunlight, and they became ill, and died more often.
This could be a carryover from the ice ages.

The upside is that dark skinned people get less skin cancer.

I don't think this has much to do with racism, which is a heavily over-used word. Seems more likely to be of Neanderthal legacy, as the groups that like each others overlap on that aspect. Some people believe these things are due only to skin color, which of course is a ridiculous assertion. The thing is that all Neanderthal-based traits are correlated, and when populations with more Neanderthal heritage have paler skin this will look like it is skin color that determines it, which isn't the case. Skin color has no causative role for any behavioral trait.

you're in the minority in that. most women prefer their guys to be confident.
you prefer warts?

sorry they did that to you. I also had women pick on me, the first bullies were two girls when i first got to my new school in 2nd grade.
even at i think it was 6, they knew kicking boys in their privates was super painful so they threaten to do that to me.



and you're ok with it?
one lady seemed ok but eventually we stopped talking because of over reactions on both sides.
2nd didn't like it at all.
3rd said she did but later stopped talking ot me and told others it was creepy. mind you this was after months of saying it was ok.

I don't think I'll ever share how I feel like that again. I learned I'm strange in wrong. its not right to love non friends as family.

why don't you dare help him? why would helping make him more depressed? ^o.o>

well has nothing to do with asking them out. its something that happens when meeting them. I'll either have romantic interest in them or they go into the 2nd category, its important to find out if they are in a relationship as soon as possible. If I would consider asking them out then they are already in the romantic zone. most women go into this zone.

though most women don't want male friends. they seeking a bf, so you either are a possible bf or your nothing to them. so its really not like I miss out on many friendships. I can only befriend a girl is they are not single or too far away to be possible to date anyways. I've never had any female friends that live in my state. they have all been over the interente in different states or nations and even then all were in a relationship.