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Done with online dating

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Spazzergasm
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09 Aug 2011, 7:08 pm

Grisha wrote:
Spazzergasm wrote:
So learn to be content single.


Easier said than done, it is extremely difficult to abandon the idea completely, even though I would very much like to - it would make me feel much better about myself...


Yeah, I totally understand. I cannot be content single! I have not been content in this area cause I've always been single. >.< It is the correct advice however, just to be taken with a grain of salt (or is it "tongue in cheek"? I'm not sure which expression fits this. I know one does, though). :P



Grisha
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09 Aug 2011, 11:15 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Spazzergasm wrote:
So learn to be content single.


Easier said than done, it is extremely difficult to abandon the idea completely, even though I would very much like to - it would make me feel much better about myself...


Yeah, I totally understand. I cannot be content single! I have not been content in this area cause I've always been single. >.< It is the correct advice however, just to be taken with a grain of salt (or is it "tongue in cheek"? I'm not sure which expression fits this. I know one does, though). :P


I understand, in a way I am content, but I believe I would be content-er with a nice girlfriend... :wink:



TeaEarlGreyHot
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09 Aug 2011, 11:46 pm

Grisha, I believe giving up an active search for 'the one' is exactly what 90% of people need to do. Now, I'm not saying people should resign and accept solidarity for the rest of their lives. What I mean is that you should do what makes you happy and keep yourself open for someone if they should decide to show up at your door.

Otherwise, you're drowning out the doorbell with the headphones on full blast.


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Grisha
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10 Aug 2011, 7:37 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Grisha, I believe giving up an active search for 'the one' is exactly what 90% of people need to do. Now, I'm not saying people should resign and accept solidarity for the rest of their lives. What I mean is that you should do what makes you happy and keep yourself open for someone if they should decide to show up at your door.

Otherwise, you're drowning out the doorbell with the headphones on full blast.


"stop looking" seems to be a very common bit of advice for people in my situation, so there must be some truth to it.

Personally, I have a problem with it because in every other area of my life I've needed to make something happen in order to be successful.

Whatever, it's not like I have any choice in the matter, might as well get used to it...



Spazzergasm
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10 Aug 2011, 12:59 pm

Grisha wrote:
Spazzergasm wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Spazzergasm wrote:
So learn to be content single.


Easier said than done, it is extremely difficult to abandon the idea completely, even though I would very much like to - it would make me feel much better about myself...


Yeah, I totally understand. I cannot be content single! I have not been content in this area cause I've always been single. >.< It is the correct advice however, just to be taken with a grain of salt (or is it "tongue in cheek"? I'm not sure which expression fits this. I know one does, though). :P


I understand, in a way I am content, but I believe I would be content-er with a nice boyfriend... :wink:


Yeah, true. I also totally understand. this. :P



Mike_the_EE
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10 Aug 2011, 7:38 pm

I completely sympathize with giving up online dating. I really, desperately want to find someone and online appears to be my last,best chance but my experiences have been awful. My lack of social skills is, unfortunately, quite complete. Something like match.com is the pits. Fine, I fill out the questions (I can do that) and make a profile (more difficult, and the profile sucks, but doable) and then I am supposed to just contact these women. How the frack do I do that? Even in the rare event where there is an exchange, it dies very quickly. The whole process is extremely stressful and I give up rather quickly until time passes and I get desperate and start the whole thing over again. Giving up would probably be the best thing for me, but it is just so unbelievably frustrating to want something so much and be so unequipped to do anything about it.


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CaroleTucson
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11 Aug 2011, 9:13 am

Grisha wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Grisha, I believe giving up an active search for 'the one' is exactly what 90% of people need to do. Now, I'm not saying people should resign and accept solidarity for the rest of their lives. What I mean is that you should do what makes you happy and keep yourself open for someone if they should decide to show up at your door.

Otherwise, you're drowning out the doorbell with the headphones on full blast.


"stop looking" seems to be a very common bit of advice for people in my situation, so there must be some truth to it.


Not stop looking ... stop having any expectations about what you have to find. Big difference :)