Bad Female Online Dating Profiles

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I definitely believe in 'hooks'

If you can give positive accentuated expression to what your hooks are, then you're more likely to naturally 'catch' them on someone else's compatible hooks.

If you flatten all your hooks to your surface and present a bland appearance to the world, then you're giving everyone the added task of finding out if you have any. Or indeed, whether they are all antithetical to oneself, a bunch of spikes. Or you're so smooth, you never hook on anything.

Then you get into this numbers 'game', trying out as many members of the opposite sex as you can until you find one that hooks you a lot without also stabbing you to bits.

I believe that being bland is just making things much harder than they have to be.

Well, unless there really are just that many authentically bland people out there all going for each other. Blandness also keeps things properly superficial, and for all that I've seen of human behavior we keep it as basic as we can on this level for the very sake of keeping it as eugenic as possible. IMO Its part of why people are sort of seen as recondit freaks who have lots to say on their profile and actually want to put that effort in to find a real match.

It could be that there are a majority of people who are basically conservative, regular and standard, and they can match with any of the many persons of similar type. Interesting idea.

I notice that I hold an unexamined belief that everyone is really unique and individual and quirky underneath the smoothness, but perhaps I'm wrong. Interesting.

I don't know that there is any universal bad quality for dating profiles. Perhaps the vacant profile comes close, but then again, perhaps she is a woman of few words and there are some guys that might like that.

Presenting oneself as best as possible without exaggeration is likely better too, but that goes for both men and women.

Doesn't matter how "bad", generic or bland a female profile is. They'll still get so many messages that they'll still have a lot of chaff to sort the wheat from. There's simply not the need to make as much effort in female profiles.

But, if they have personalities at all, I can't imagine them wanting to just have floods of any guy hitting them up. You'd think they'd want to scare off the guys they don't want by telling them right off the top who they are and what they're into. From that standpoint it just makes more sense that all across the board you typically get vanilla profiles from vanilla people.

Similarly I've seen plenty of times where there were very attractive, albeit alternative, profiles on OKCupid where they'd go on about love of wine, art, antique shopping around town, laundry list of the bands and composers they like, etc.. The only downside, they themselves seem to hang out there for quite a while without any flip in status (then again so do most of the vanillas).

I think the three best observations to be made about online dating is that a) someone who looks perfect for you on paper could easily and often times will have no chemistry IRL, b) that if you met this same person socially rather than on a 'dating' venue there would much more likely be chemistry, c) for all the pure vanilla profiles out there or seemingly vanilla-on-paper people you see, likely 5% of these people would be great matches but you'd never in your life have anything to go on where as if you met them IRL there wouldn't be any such confusion. Moral of the story - its more of a miracle that online dating does work for anybody than its any surprise that it doesn't for most people, hence if you can find any way at all to get yourself out more in the right places you'll have a much better shot - male or female.

Online dating sucks badly. It's one of the things on my "never do" list, along with selling my love juice and a few others.

exactly right you are.

plus, there are plenty of sites of the internet that are great for meeting like-minded people but are not burdened with "dating" expectations.

I would comment on the OP/quality of dating profiles thing but even thinking about having to put myself in a position where I'd either have to try to "sell" myself like this or "buy" somebody's "profile" is making me dizzy, so I'll pass.

I haven't tried online dating yet, but I would be worried, not of the things you mention, but (probably more likely) scam artists (i.e. out for money.)

I would guess that some guys were intimidated by your intelligence. I would have found that a big plus. I went to a Mensa gathering that was open to the public with the intention of meeting an intelligent woman. It worked! This was many years ago. Maybe I'll try that again when I'm ready to start dating again.

I have given online dating a try and my experiences from a couple of sites have been very positive. I joined a site a week ago, have received plenty of mail/attention from very eligible people and already have had a few dates. People have been who they have claimed to be and all have asked to meet again. I need to start making choices soon which is going to be the difficult part.

Last edited by Lilya on 12 Sep 2011, 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

surprisingly, yes. i had an almost-blank profile that would get messages from interested men. some of the messages were just spammy ones that were sent to every new profile (i could flag them because i had 2 profiles), but some were genuinely curious individuals who were just intrigued.... some of the men thought i was shy and just needed some encouragement.

^^ it doesn't work because you'd look shy in an almost-blank profile or anything like that (those who told you they thought you're shy just used that as a convo starter...trust me).

It's all a matter of Supply and Demand, any female profile on any dating site , even it's totally blank, would still receive messages.

ok. which dating platform are you working for?

"Mensa" would have been a total turn-on for me and might have caused me to respond to a profile that I might have otherwise overlooked. So if I'm the type of guy you're interested in, put it back!

I will, when I re-enter the market! Mostly I got a lot of dumb messages, like, "You don't look like you're in Mensa." I have a feeling these were people who were not regular meeting-attendees and so would have nothing to base that on...