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Problem with the guys...

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Skateri
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 6 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
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Location: Århus, Denmark

22 Mar 2012, 7:40 am

You guys are sweet... And thanks for letting me know that I'm doing something right... It's just hard to see when you once again sit alone with nothing but memories and a broken heart... All my friends always come with stuff like "he wasn't right for you", "it's him that's missing out on something amazing" and "you are just unlucky"...

I don't think I'm being unreasonable... All I want is what every one in my group of friends have or had... A serious long-term relationship with someone who loves me as much as I love him... But I actually doubt I ever had that... When I love someone it's with all my heart... When it comes to relationships I can't do it if my heart isn't in it 100%... And I don't want to...

Maybe I should just take a break from dating until further notice... I can't stand to get my heart broken again...

Oh and by the way... Only two of my relationships lasted 10-11 months... All the others were 4 months or less...

And yes, I'm holding on to the numbers... I guess it's part of my Aspie-traits but it really bugs me...


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tronist
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22 Mar 2012, 11:18 pm

Skateri wrote:
Narfibald wrote:
Honestly, I don't understand some guys, and I'm a guy myself. I've had to friends who were girls (not girlfriends) be dumped by their boyfriends because they don't want to have only dated one girl. Which is weird because both were awesome ladies. So, I dunno. My only real guess would be it has something to do with sex or lack of it, but I don't know.


I doubt it has something to do with that... With a bf I only say no if I'm too tired to keep my eyes open... Besides... In my longest relationship we didn't have sex for three months and that was because he kept saying no... And that wasn't what ended it - it was again lack of feelings from his side... Two months before we moved in together... :/
If it's because I'm not good enough in bed I doubt they wouldn't tell me... But I don't know either... As I wrote in the first post, I don't know what happens... Their feelings just suddenly disappear... Or so they say...
to be fair, theres more to it than saying 'yes'. for example: if you are in a relationship and you get to this point, and its the guy who constantly has to initiate over and over, the act loses a lot of its appeal.

theres also a massive difference between having sex and having a good sexual relationship.



Skateri
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 6 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 178
Location: Århus, Denmark

26 Mar 2012, 10:33 am

tronist wrote:
Skateri wrote:
Narfibald wrote:
Honestly, I don't understand some guys, and I'm a guy myself. I've had to friends who were girls (not girlfriends) be dumped by their boyfriends because they don't want to have only dated one girl. Which is weird because both were awesome ladies. So, I dunno. My only real guess would be it has something to do with sex or lack of it, but I don't know.


I doubt it has something to do with that... With a bf I only say no if I'm too tired to keep my eyes open... Besides... In my longest relationship we didn't have sex for three months and that was because he kept saying no... And that wasn't what ended it - it was again lack of feelings from his side... Two months before we moved in together... :/
If it's because I'm not good enough in bed I doubt they wouldn't tell me... But I don't know either... As I wrote in the first post, I don't know what happens... Their feelings just suddenly disappear... Or so they say...
to be fair, theres more to it than saying 'yes'. for example: if you are in a relationship and you get to this point, and its the guy who constantly has to initiate over and over, the act loses a lot of its appeal.

theres also a massive difference between having sex and having a good sexual relationship.


I've always put an honor in making the sexual relationship good... And I usually initiate it as much as he does... It's all a matter of who goes there first... And I'm not shy in talking about it with him either... If there is some fantasy any of us would like to try or if he (or myself) is unhappy about something... But of course, if he doesn't tell me anything I can do different I can't tell if I don't live up to his expectations... But that's not "my problem" if he doesn't confide in me... I can't read minds... I usually tell if there is anything I'm not happy about... But I'm an easy girl to please as long as the feelings are involved from both sides... The feelings are as much a turn on for me than any touching...


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***Susan aka Sue***

"If you can dream it, you can do it!" - Walt Disney