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Dating Profile Advice (how to stand out from 95% of people)

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MXH
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16 May 2012, 7:03 pm

I have to agree. I posted on one website a shirtless pic and guess what, its the only pic of me that has been rated in that site as 5/5 stars. Nothing has come of it as it isnt a dating site and i keep that pic off of dating sites but youcant pretend that women dont like eye candy as much as men



Kurgan
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16 May 2012, 7:04 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Any relationships come about as a result of it?


No. But from all my years of using a regular picture, I've only gotten one serious relationship.



Is that more or less serious relationships than you've gotten from using profiles with shirtless photos?


Didn't get any relationships from my flexing picture. But I only had it up for three days, to test how much attention it would generate,



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:07 pm

MXH wrote:
I have to agree. I posted on one website a shirtless pic and guess what, its the only pic of me that has been rated in that site as 5/5 stars. Nothing has come of it as it isnt a dating site and i keep that pic off of dating sites but youcant pretend that women dont like eye candy as much as men


That isn't the question.
The question is whether

a. A man's being "eye candy" is AS important to women as it is to men (keeping in mind, the answer is likely radically-different depending on whether we're talking about casual sex, dating, relationships, or marriage-minded)
and
b. the notion of someone who uses a shirtless picture as their MAIN display photo rightly or wrongly connotes something negative about him to a large portion of women


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ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:09 pm

Kurgan wrote:

Didn't get any relationships from my flexing picture. But I only had it up for three days, to test how much attention it would generate,


Gotcha.

I posted a full-body shot of me at my thinnest on OKC, and my inbox blew up with poorly-spelled solicitations referencing said picture, usually by shirtless men. Before that it was the occasional, well thought out message referencing my actual profile/interests.


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JanuaryMan
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16 May 2012, 7:14 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:
I have to agree. I posted on one website a shirtless pic and guess what, its the only pic of me that has been rated in that site as 5/5 stars. Nothing has come of it as it isnt a dating site and i keep that pic off of dating sites but youcant pretend that women dont like eye candy as much as men


That isn't the question.
The question is whether

a. A man's being "eye candy" is AS important to women as it is to men (keeping in mind, the answer is likely radically-different depending on whether we're talking about casual sex, dating, relationships, or marriage-minded)
and
b. the notion of someone who uses a shirtless picture as their MAIN display photo rightly or wrongly connotes something negative about him to a large portion of women


I don't know why there always has to be comparisons drawn between the two genders every time. Can't it just work for some people not for others, some women like it, some don't, and that be the end of it?



MXH
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16 May 2012, 7:16 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:
I have to agree. I posted on one website a shirtless pic and guess what, its the only pic of me that has been rated in that site as 5/5 stars. Nothing has come of it as it isnt a dating site and i keep that pic off of dating sites but youcant pretend that women dont like eye candy as much as men


That isn't the question.
The question is whether

a. A man's being "eye candy" is AS important to women as it is to men (keeping in mind, the answer is likely radically-different depending on whether we're talking about casual sex, dating, relationships, or marriage-minded)
and
b. the notion of someone who uses a shirtless picture as their MAIN display photo rightly or wrongly connotes something negative about him to a large portion of women


Well, I had a woman tell me to put a picture like that as my profile picture. She said it would make more women open my profile ad get to see how well it was written. Also i remember a dating article from okcupid posted by hyper where they discussed the shirtless photos of guys, its more likely to be a positive thing for a guy since its likely only a guy with something worth showing will take such a picture. And ill have to say the time i had it as my main picture i did get 15 views in a month, and ive gotten maybe 6 views after taking it off 4 months ago. I think those numbers speak for themselves. Would i leave it up in hopes one would message me? Not really, but it still stands its whats given me all the attention in that specific site



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16 May 2012, 7:26 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
That isn't the question.
The question is whether

a. A man's being "eye candy" is AS important to women as it is to men (keeping in mind, the answer is likely radically-different depending on whether we're talking about casual sex, dating, relationships, or marriage-minded)
and
b. the notion of someone who uses a shirtless picture as their MAIN display photo rightly or wrongly connotes something negative about him to a large portion of women


If you determine the question, the answer is most likely to suit you. It's been observed that women tend to care a lot, if not as much, about men's looks. While you might not attract a lot of people you like, you'll at least have more to pick from. Another question, as I'm arguing in this thread about dating sites anyway. Is it true that, as I heard, women are more often approached than men?

As for dating websites, I don't participate in that. It's not my kind of place. Not into revealing too much personal information to strangers if they're too lazy to just look for it - Google will probably provide several pages if you know my name, look for my photo or one of my pseudonyms (I have plenty that I use in various places, though this is not one of them).



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:35 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:
I have to agree. I posted on one website a shirtless pic and guess what, its the only pic of me that has been rated in that site as 5/5 stars. Nothing has come of it as it isnt a dating site and i keep that pic off of dating sites but youcant pretend that women dont like eye candy as much as men


That isn't the question.
The question is whether

a. A man's being "eye candy" is AS important to women as it is to men (keeping in mind, the answer is likely radically-different depending on whether we're talking about casual sex, dating, relationships, or marriage-minded)
and
b. the notion of someone who uses a shirtless picture as their MAIN display photo rightly or wrongly connotes something negative about him to a large portion of women


I don't know why there always has to be comparisons drawn between the two genders every time. Can't it just work for some people not for others, some women like it, some don't, and that be the end of it?


Aspies want DEFINITIVE answers! Which group of women is in the majority? We need to tailor our strategies!


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of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:36 pm

MXH wrote:
Well, I had a woman tell me to put a picture like that as my profile picture. She said it would make more women open my profile ad get to see how well it was written. Also i remember a dating article from okcupid posted by hyper where they discussed the shirtless photos of guys, its more likely to be a positive thing for a guy since its likely only a guy with something worth showing will take such a picture. And ill have to say the time i had it as my main picture i did get 15 views in a month, and ive gotten maybe 6 views after taking it off 4 months ago. I think those numbers speak for themselves. Would i leave it up in hopes one would message me? Not really, but it still stands its whats given me all the attention in that specific site


....so you're on a dating site for the views?


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ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:43 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

If you determine the question, the answer is most likely to suit you. It's been observed that women tend to care a lot, if not as much, about men's looks.


It's also been "observed" that they don't. See what I did thar?
Plus, we're falsely equivocating between not caring about looks and not wanting to immediately see a stranger shirtless.
A woman posted saying it turns her off,and I'm yet another. So there's obviously exceptions to any categorical claims, which to those of us who don't think in absolutes calls into question WHICH group is in the majority.

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
While you might not attract a lot of people you like, you'll at least have more to pick from. Another question, as I'm arguing in this thread about dating sites anyway. Is it true that, as I heard, women are more often approached than men?

I've only been on a dating site as a woman, and one among thousands, at that. A million people messaging me is, frankly, undesirable if not a single one is someone I'm compatible with. There seem to be people who are looking for Someone, and people who are looking for Anyone. I think men are usually the messengers on dating sites and women the receivers, though, same as how in real life the impetus is on men to approach.
HisDivineMajesty wrote:
As for dating websites, I don't participate in that. It's not my kind of place. Not into revealing too much personal information to strangers if they're too lazy to just look for it - Google will probably provide several pages if you know my name, look for my photo or one of my pseudonyms (I have plenty that I use in various places, though this is not one of them).

As far as meeting people offline, I'd rather it be a man from a dating site based on seeming-mutuality of attraction based on provided information than one who private eyes my personal info on the web. O_o


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MXH
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16 May 2012, 7:47 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:
Well, I had a woman tell me to put a picture like that as my profile picture. She said it would make more women open my profile ad get to see how well it was written. Also i remember a dating article from okcupid posted by hyper where they discussed the shirtless photos of guys, its more likely to be a positive thing for a guy since its likely only a guy with something worth showing will take such a picture. And ill have to say the time i had it as my main picture i did get 15 views in a month, and ive gotten maybe 6 views after taking it off 4 months ago. I think those numbers speak for themselves. Would i leave it up in hopes one would message me? Not really, but it still stands its whats given me all the attention in that specific site


....so you're on a dating site for the views?


It wasnt a dating site, its more of a confidence booster site. But on a regular dating site it helps be more confident if your profile is viewed often. Which any guy here will tell you doesnt happen often. I think the last view i had on okcupid was early april and it was by a guy



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:51 pm

MXH wrote:

It wasnt a dating site, its more of a confidence booster site. But on a regular dating site it helps be more confident if your profile is viewed often. Which any guy here will tell you doesnt happen often. I think the last view i had on okcupid was early april and it was by a guy


Hm. I'm not sure why it would inspire confidence, to be honest. Getting viewed doesn't mean much if there aren't any takers for what you're offering. In fact, it's extra depressing. I say this as someone who's been in that situation.


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They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
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MXH
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16 May 2012, 8:02 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:

It wasnt a dating site, its more of a confidence booster site. But on a regular dating site it helps be more confident if your profile is viewed often. Which any guy here will tell you doesnt happen often. I think the last view i had on okcupid was early april and it was by a guy


Hm. I'm not sure why it would inspire confidence, to be honest. Getting viewed doesn't mean much if there aren't any takers for what you're offering. In fact, it's extra depressing. I say this as someone who's been in that situation.


I understand that, but its a site that you cant talk to each other without paying anyways. Ive had women send me smiles and teddy bears and stuff on that site. On most they ignore my messages or views and whatnot. I take it as a good thing, a small sign of a possibility of hope after seeing every other thing fail.



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 8:04 pm

MXH wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:

It wasnt a dating site, its more of a confidence booster site. But on a regular dating site it helps be more confident if your profile is viewed often. Which any guy here will tell you doesnt happen often. I think the last view i had on okcupid was early april and it was by a guy


Hm. I'm not sure why it would inspire confidence, to be honest. Getting viewed doesn't mean much if there aren't any takers for what you're offering. In fact, it's extra depressing. I say this as someone who's been in that situation.


I understand that, but its a site that you cant talk to each other without paying anyways. Ive had women send me smiles and teddy bears and stuff on that site. On most they ignore my messages or views and whatnot. I take it as a good thing, a small sign of a possibility of hope after seeing every other thing fail.


:)


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17 May 2012, 8:54 am

Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Same here (not bathroom pic, but just shirtless). Yes, it was the only picture effective enough to get initial attention/messages/replies.



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17 May 2012, 8:30 pm

I might be going against the grain in regards to this thread but my opinion (lol we all have one and some stink more than others) is as follows. Be urself....do ur profile however u want to do it. Originality would probably be a big plus. If u follow a cookie cutter profile "profile".....how are u going to stand out? If the bait doesn't "hook" any catch, maybe ur approach at the dating scene needs to be addressed? Just because u post a profile doesn't mean u'll get a date or maybe u will.....who knows? My only other piece of advice is if ur looking at a getting a good genuine friendship brewing, limiting the subject of "sex" at first might help. All the women online out there know how ruthless males can be with this subject. Letting people know up front ur not about sex might be the easiest way to set urself apart from the majority.


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