How to recognize when a girl is flirting with you?

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26 May 2012, 10:45 am

Personal questions that are all along a similar line.
If they ask only one or two..wouldn't take any notice of it. Just breaking the ice or engaging in small talk. If they are asking a lot of personal questions, they are probably interested in you

ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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26 May 2012, 10:57 am

Unless she's Nigerian or a man dressed up as a Nigerian woman.

JanuaryMan
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26 May 2012, 10:58 am

:lol: yeah..and if they are asking if you send any dough via Western Union run a mile.

ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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26 May 2012, 10:59 am

PIN numba? Want to make a baby?

Homer_Bob
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26 May 2012, 12:42 pm

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:

Physical contact.

I have to disagree there. I've had females friends who have hugged me or touched me as a greeting. Doesn't mean they have the hots for me, in fact 9 out of 10 times they don't. The fact that several women do this to their guy friends makes flirting even tougher to figure out.

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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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26 May 2012, 12:43 pm

They're your friends. I think the OP's referring to first encounters.

edgewaters
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26 May 2012, 3:06 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:

Right. And whats really complicated is that even blatant flirting and innuendo directed at someone doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. From what I can tell it looks like a game or sport that is only sometimes played for stakes. Other times it's for comedic effect, social lubrication, as friendly ribbing, as malicious ribbing, for fun/amusement, a status display, or any one of many other reasons. I think the whole thing is meant to be so you can never quite tell if it's for stakes or not, to make you curious without exposing the other person to any risk or vulnerability. The fact that it's sometimes not played for stakes is what camouflages the times when it is.

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:04 am

Greb wrote:

If you're posting here I suppose you have big troubles to recognize non-verbal language. Flirting involves a lot of non-verbal language. In my experience, you can improve your skills (recognizing flirting), but you will never be good at it.

I have accepted that I just can't. So I can tell how I deal with it. Perhaps you find it useful. If I suspect that a girl is interested (and I'm interested too, of course) I use the following steps.

1. Trying to get one or two dates. If she is interested in you, she'll agree. But that doesn't mean that she wants something more: she could just want to enjoy some time with a friend.

During the date, if you're not good at flirting, then just have fun. If both of you are having a good time, well, at least you won't screw it up (that is important).

2. Trying to take the situation to a 'kiss situation'. The easiest way I have found is to date during the weekend, so you can stay awake until late. Then show your will to continue even if it's late, but don't force her. If she likes you, she'll probably agree.

3. Then, when it comes to a situation like "It's one or two in the morning, after midnight, we're sitting in the couch and talking, or we're in a pub sitting close and talking" then I consider that the probabilities of she wanting something more are high and I make advancements (and here you have to take risks and jump, there's no easier way).

Good luck.

I have almost accepted that I cannot flirt. If I start to flirt, I will look like a kid trying to get something. Thanks for your tips.

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:08 am

OJani wrote:

Like if they were children waiting for the apple-pie to get ready... Seriously! Then I'd say, shell we go for a walk (in the street or in a park)? You'll grab her hand (the left one!) and the rest is automatic...

Nice analogy. And why the left hand ?

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:12 am

Blownmind wrote:

Date online, and look for " :wink:

What do you mean by look for a wink?

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:17 am

metaldanielle wrote:

When I flirt, I either get really shy or really giggly. I tease a lot. Sometimes it is hard to tell if I am flirting or being rude. I tend to use the diss technique a lot. That usually backfires w/ aspies because of thier low self-esteem. But usually I will talk more about flirtatious things. I'll try to be around a person more if I like them.

I agree with you. If someone I am talking to keeps giggling the first thought that comes to my mind is, Is the person trying to mock me in some way? and I get out of the conversation with that person ASAP (before I say something in agitation that offends the other person).

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:18 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

TechnoDog wrote:

Actually females tease people for the fun of it.
Without actually having any feelings towards you.
Ask her what she thinks of a quiet person.

Female what? Elephants? Bonobos?
I think you meant to say "women"

ha ha.. funny.

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28 May 2012, 9:19 am

ThinkingMonkey wrote:

Blownmind wrote:

Date online, and look for " :wink:

What do you mean by look for a wink?

When you date online, you write, and when you write, you can make smileys, and when you flirt, you make "winkeys".

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28 May 2012, 9:22 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest.

Near the end there's one that even an Aspie can do -
Peacocking, where a man dresses up in a fruitful manner in order to attract a woman
Hmmm.......
http://cakeheadlovesevil.wordpress.com/ ... -as-fruit/
Maybe not.
Interesting Wikipedia article though - I could see a lot of body language in those 2 paintings. When the artist accentuates it like that, you can almost read their minds.

I have read such definitions of Flirting. Although I think I understand it. I definitely do not get it. Peacocking, not for me.

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:25 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

One of the girls that I "think" was flirting with me, was asking me a lot of questions. So, I was not entirely wrong.

ThinkingMonkey
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28 May 2012, 9:26 am

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:

They're your friends. I think the OP's referring to first encounters.

yes, first encounter. As well as how to know whether a friend is flirting or not.

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