Total abstinence

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I think we've got crossed wires here. I don't mean women are never horny.

The way you explain it then makes it seem like abstinence should be pretty easy if you don't deliberately go online to look for stimulus. If you just let the feeling pass, it will pass, but if you go online or read erotic books to deliberately um, inflame it, then you end up acting on it.

What I thought that some people infer is that going about your regular business makes people uncontrolable and that seems sexist. Like people are all uncontollable balls of hormones without free will.

I'm too tired to explain what I mean. never mind.

Talking about objectifying, hurtloam, I do find the way some women liking guys for being a certain "type" of looks preset in their head pretty objectifying; I find women generally are far more rigid and more stricter in their "types"; men on the other hand usually like many and many types of women; they fall for one after knowing her well (after given the chance of course).

For example I knew a turkish woman who had an egyptian guy, darkish, tall, african hair, distinct facial features and skinny. She showed me too a pic of her current crush and omg; he's egyptian too and looks like his lost twin. This is quite objectifying in my opinion; it's similar to some guys who have the "asian fetish".

I don't disagree, but this is somewhat off-topic.

I agree 100% marriage is not necessarily about having children. It's about whatever a husband and wife want it to be about--could be any or all of those things, could be purely a business arrangement (there's a component of that in my own marriage). My marriage is about a lifelong friendship with someone I can have a secure, monogamous, intimate relationship with; kids are just part of the deal. Love, obviously, is a part of that, but not necessarily required in an ongoing romantic sense. We are VERY happy together.

But sex is not the regular meat-and-potatoes it once was. It's a rare treat, and I wonder sometimes if I went celibate how long it would take my wife to notice. She knows how I feel, and we both know this poses no threat to our union.

I was joking earlier, but if you want to look at it in a more serious light, get into a marriage understanding that sex and children are expected. Join the 4-or-more Club and THEN see how frequently you have sex. If you wanted to be, I'd bet you'd practically be a monk or nun in no time!! !

It's easier than people think. If you've never had any sex before, you don't know what you're missing, You're body won't be asking itself, why aren't you having sex? Perhaps the occasional nocturnal emissions is how it compensates for it. I've learned to do without and having a sexless life is perfectly fine by me. I'd prefer companionship.

I didn't realise that you were joking. Sorry.

yes I have 4 kids, two teens and two toddlers and one of them is always awake! If there is a rare occasion they are all asleep, so am I.

As for the OP sex drive wears off with disuse, the more you have sex or masturbate the higher your drive, if you stop all activities it diminishes.

When advertisements and television shows keep shoving models in skimpy outfits in our faces it's hard not to be at least a little affected. It's gotten to the point where I suspect I'm majorly desensitized to virtual images of women - I only feel arousal at the really explicit stuff, thank goodness the sites I visit tend to not use those and I use ad-block most of the times anyway.

What's worst are the news sites that have articles "bumped up" according to view count, and it's no surprise garbage like Irina Shayk posing nude in support of the russian football team is what gets the most clicks