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I have no interest in the 99% (probably rather 85-90% though) NT population. They are totally incompatible with me so I don't want to have anything to do with them relationship-wise, and I can enforce that by having effective criteria for selecting them out.



I don't know what you are talking about then. Maybe I should equate what you call for "love" with an "attachment" then? Problem is, the attachment starts with the crush, and the crush is the most obsessive and emotional state I know, which eventually fades into a long-term attachment without a lot of obsessiveness. That's all there is to it. I can be in the crush state for months, sometimes even years before it fades into only an attachment.

Add that I don't feel there is any sudden jump into (or out of) a relationship. I don't work like that. I get a crush suddenly, but I don't suddenly jump in or out of relationships. Once the crush (and attachment) is there, I cannot break it off, rather it will stay for years, possibly fading if there is no contact, but really never ending. That's the primary reason why dating doesn't work for me. I cannot handle people that suddenly break up, and as this is the norm in dating, I cannot participate in that. And I cannot enter dating in a friendship way either as that leads nowhere when I cannot get a crush on somebody I know too well.

My experience tells me that a woman is more likely to break off a relationship if her man fails to meet or exceed her standards for him 24/7. At that point, she will usually issue an ultimatum - "My Way or the Highway" - which is a demand for change that is backed by a threat of a breakup. At that point, he is better off calling the bluff than continuing such an abusive relationship.

Then again, a man is more likely to stay in an abusive relationship as long as he is getting sex from his abuser (some men will even pay for this type of relationship).

Last edited by Fnord on 30 Dec 2014, 9:47 am, edited 2 times in total.

Exactly. But it is not awful, and it is possible to learn to cope with these preferences in a good way. You just cannot subject yourself to a huge amount of situations where you get feelings in dating, and the girl decides to break-up because she doesn't think you are good enough. That's begging for trouble. You need to be real picky about whom you develop feelings for. For me, it's only about 4-5 girls (in a period of 40 years) that got that privilege and that I still have more or less feelings for.

If the guy takes a long time to develop feelings, isn't hard to get the absolute worst thing you could do?

He asked me to be his girlfriend today and I said yes.

Congratulations! That's great!

Lol, thanks. He was so quiet when we were having dinner together at a restaurant. He just stared at me. When I asked why he was so quiet he said that I made him shy. For some reason I am still afraid that he will lose interest once we have sex. It's one of those fears of mine. He said he really likes me for me, wants to introduce me to his parents and doesn't see me as some kind of 'conquest'. I guess I will have to take his word for that. I'll visit his parents first and then let the relationship progress to become more intimate. It's still so early on.

This feels like old news to me , I knew you guaranteed him ever since you're talking non-stop about him lol.

And I am sure that hurtloam will announce a bf pretty soon within weeks too, you'll remember me.

That leaves Sweetleaf now- Sweetleaf, you must whine more!

Congrats to both.

Thanks for the positive vibes, but yeah, well, don't hold your breath...

SEE GUYS??? SEE?? There's a boyfriend in process ! ! I was right!

Congrats hurtloam, I am 100% sure that you guaranteed him (you whined well before ).

2014 ended with two very active female wp users getting new boyfriends, fascinating.

I would honestly say that most people don't like "intense" feelings at the beginning of relationships.

It's scary because you lose all objective perspective as regards things outside of you.

I tend to avoid having "intense" feelings like the Plague--but I'm not always successful at that.