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Hehehe. People actually have listened to what I say. because I know what I am doing.

Anyhow, I have to take back some of my superiority, as someone WAS actually foolish enough to take one of my jokes somewhat seriously. Ooops.

Game- as to 'knowing' what you are doing, what is the longest relationship that you've had? You're attitude of superiority would strike me as entirely insufferable. I can't imagine anything longer than a couple years of infatuation, at best.

Cal, I'm a freshman in college, I've had two and a half girlfriends. longest relationship was 6 months, shortest was 1 month. the first girl was the greatest thing for me because it made me more NT, and I can now offer advice better off because of the mistakes and whatnot that I made. I'm still friends with that girl to this day, she knows that I look out for her and her family and her family all loves me.....well her immediate family at best, her extended I'm not sure about....but that's beside the point. the one month, the girl and I had been friends since the start of school, she was 27 and I'm 19. That was an okay relationship, though she and I no longer talk, because of mistakes that I make. I make mistakes, and I admit that I'm not perfect.

So if you're calling me insufferable and arrogant as such as I come off, then go ahead and think that, because I don't care what anyone thinks or says about me. I'm a perfect gentlemen. I'm also someone anyone can come to and talk about their problems, and they know I can help. I don't EVER claim to have all the answers, if I did, I'd be God or Jesus, which I am not. I'm a person who has been blessed by God with intelligence, kindness and caring.

Kind and Caring Gentlemen don't tell others to Shut Up.

Think about that for a while, in all your holiness.


Does sound like you don't have a lot of skill at forming lasting
relationships. Hell, at your age, I hadn't had any, so maybe you'll
learn. I've had three real relationships (as opposed to some affairs),
none of which lasted less than two years. But you do manage to act
as though you have some clue about what you're talking about, so
of course people listen. For all my experience, I still know that every
damned situation is different, and can't really be analyzed all that well
without being directly in it.

Sam,

At this point since she has a boyfriend all you can really do is say hi and such. Start to get to know her from a friendly perspective while the pressure is off because of the boyfriend. Take note of her interests (without being to noticeable about it) and see if you have anything in common. Figure out why you liked her in the first place. And watch how she treats her boyfriend. If she's mean to him, constantly putting him down or talking badly about him, that's not a good sign.

If they break up and you've been talking to her for awhile, ask her to go a movie she might like or to just hang out. Or, ask her to do something with you that will allow you both to enjoy a shared interest. As long as you've been talking for awhile and she's been friendly, you don't have to spend a lot of time after her breakup before you ask her out (maybe a week). At that age, especially if she's NT, she will be going out with another boyfriend soon, so don't wait around too long.

Most of all pay attention to the things she likes and is interested in and go from there. It shows you paid real attention to her beyond her looks and popularity.

Hope that helps! Good luck.

Zanne

Sadly, this is so true. I could never understand how quickly most people seem to dive from one relationship into another.

Casual conversation. Ask easy open questions, like what she did over the weekend or something. Complement her clothing. Get her to talk about herself, and if you can relate to it, just say "I know exactly what you mean" or "Yeah, I'm like that too" without revealing too much. Listen more than talk, but show you have interest by nodding your head occasionally or saying "Yeah" or "That's true"

Not everyone can read others with such accuracy to know how shallow they may be. Sometimes it takes time, others it takes some major event to bring that to light. It also may not be the shallow aspect of the person that was the initial draw. That makes it rather unfair to jump to the conclusion that the individual is shallow simply because they are / were interested in someone that has exhibited that characteristic.

It isn't a choice. I doubt that I'm alone in saying that there are people that I wish I wasn't attracted to.


Regardless of what you personally may have gained from that, not all would view it as a "good" thing.

Yes, being more NT is hardly a good thing.

While these two are squabbling amongst each other, I'll chip in my two cents. If she has a boyfriend, and you're eight months younger than her, your chances are slim to none. Sorry to tell it like it is. It is still worth it to become friends with her, as that opens up the potential to date some of her friends (trust me, it works!).

THanks guys, but i agree with calendale about that game dude, i'm not shallow, she's definately not shallow and i think that you think you have the right to tell people what to do, and its not because of her popularity and such, i don't know what the hell it is, i can't help it, and before you do give advice, think if it would offend someone first before you post it and luckily she treats her current boyfriend well, so thanks those who's advice was good, but the others, think before you act like your god's gift, and in my opinion religions are a crutch for the weak minded!

I don't believe we do that anyway. I can act NT, but it is an act and even though I think I've fooled them, they know all along that it's an act. I've never become more NT in reading eyes, body language, hidden messages, not experiencing sensory overload, etc. I did become comfortable around my husband talked to him more, but I am still just as AS. He and I just have many things in common and the primary one is that we love intellectual conversation. That doesn't make me NT or him AS. It means we have a broad area of common ground where we can enjoy each other.


Gamester, what did you mean by it made you more NT? What specifically happened?

I agree with this. Friends do help their friends to find dates at your age. I wouldn't be married if a boyfriend who didn't work out hadn't introduced me to my husband. It's always worth it to make friends even if you don't have that much in common.

It's just a rough situation. If she really interests you, it's got to be more than
just 'looks' and all. So, do try and become friends. You'll see whether or not
you are compatible. And maybe she'll see you as a better choice, maybe not;
but you'll have a friend.

Thanks, but now i got to do that two weeks from now as its easter holidays!
And I can ask her friends about her cause i'm friends with them, will that help?

At your age, that might not hurt. Just be sure that you TRUST them not to make a fool of you. Still might work out though. But, what's the rush? You have a whole lifetime to love yet.