Frustrated being autistic

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I know it sucks to be autistic. I empathize with you. I'm not doing as well as you in some areas. And I can never, probably, do as well as you in some areas.

I can't give presentations like you. Yes, you did post one of your demonstrations a while ago.

My task here, I believe, is to assist you in realizing that you have good aspects in your life as well as bad.

I have 10 friends on Facebook. Granted I don't use it a lot, but I also don't have anyone else to add, even if I wanted to. 3/4 of these 10 friends are Internet buddies, there's perhaps 1 or 2 high school acquaintances I never talk to. You shouldn't count and compare likes either, that's unhealthy behaviour. Who gives a crap? This isn't Black Mirror series 3 episode 1, the number of likes you get have nothing to do with your life, at all.

That being said, I know this sounds like "normie advice", but if you don't accept yourself and the circumstances of your life, you'll check yourself out eventually. I know it's easy to dis the "NT world" for all the problems we have, but what's the point? We can hate it and yell at it forever, it won't change because we tell it to. People are what people are. Putting ourselves in this mindset where we're the victims and the NTs the uncaring selfish evil demons is not healthy for us. You victimize yourself so constantly that you really don't need the "NT world" to do it for you. And if you consider yourself actively oppressed by the world around you, you're giving it power over your life that it shouldn't have, because truth is, no one thinks much of anyone else. Girlfriends leave, friendships fall out, life moves on with or without you; in fact it'll move on without most of us, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy with what we have.

You are so fixated on one path to happiness, you forget all the others. Let me give you the example of monks. They never marry, they never have sex. Some of them never speak. All they do is pray, contemplate, work, pray some more. I have yet to meet a monk that is not content with his life.



This is called the just world delusion, the belief you'll get out of life as much as you give it. You will not. Interpersonal relationships are basically a complicated system of credit. You have to wisely choose those to whom you "loan", because if you don't, you'll find yourself destitute. Friends are basically people for whom the credit relationship goes both ways - they borrow from you, you borrow from them. If you loan to people who won't give back, that's called charity, and it's a nice thing to do in certain cases (since you also have to carefully choose the recipients of charity in order not to be taken advantage of), just don't expect anything for your efforts. The faster you learn to cope with that, the faster you can embark on a road leading to happiness for you.

I've got a book for you to read, since we can't all become monks. It helped me cope, at any rate. Here you go : http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html

Seeking empathy is fine, but it won't help with dates. Women like strong men and as a man you should provide empathy.

Of course I do empathise with people. I don't get it why they never see I am one or react to compliment or saying thank you to me. I am working so hard to understand people feelings and situations. I always wanted to be empathetic person because it makes me feel good to understand people. I always empathise myself, and that is always going to happen first before make empathy with people!

I don't understand why I am always criticised by who I am. This 21st century lifestyle is the most complicated thanks to media and technology influences screwing up young people minds. Like body image for instance. People are so afraid of being naked in front of others. I am like huh? Why? I am not a naturist or nudist. I am a human being without stereotypes.

I see the way how I communicate and socialise is caused by Autism which is never going to change because of no cue is always responsible to make my life living hell due to lack of understanding nor empathy from other people. Why I need to be lonely all the time since Autism makes me to feel deserves it?

That and some other stuff. I feel incomplete in ways that aren't caused by not having a partner.

I'm not sure if I could have one at the moment. You know how they say you must love yourself before you can love someone else? There's truth in that. I think at the moment women would get put off by my extreme pessimism.Maybe I'm doing okayishly then.

Well sounds like past factors contributed to the negativity so it's not all your fault, however it is certainly still your problem...and would be best to try and address it, so you can gain a more positive outlook. Also when you talk about disability rights and what not are you just monologuing/lecturing or speaking in a way that invites an engaged conversation? Perhaps your approach simply isn't engaging people...sometimes you have to try different approaches to get your points across and encourage discussion.

Also quit looking at everyone else as illogical, and no offense but with all your extreme logic that surpasses that of NTs I'd think your posts would be more clear and concise but I tend to have trouble understanding a lot of stuff in your posts, maybe you're not quite so much more logical than everyone else as you think. ... And dealing with good and positive things is good and fine, but there are negative and bad things in life to that you have to deal with to.

My grammar and speech is poor and not overly professional because the conflicting impacts between Autism and hearing loss. I did speech therapy many times and have done literacy classes. I did pass them. I scored 65% for English in my final year exams of high school. During uni years I have a proofreader on my essays and thesis including a recent one last year when I finished my Masters. I scored 100% grade point average on that paper.

I thought communication, and people doesn't have to be perfect? My psychologists told me I shouldn't be negative comparing my skills to other people. I felt criticised when people say that I need to improve on my language. It upsets me because I did all the efforts of taking speech therapies and literacy classes for many years. Have done 6 years of academic studies and research.

My IQ is 137, the downside impacts is language and social skills. Others is logical, analytical, observations and research abilities is very strong. I would scan that piece of paper from the psychologist who did the IQ test with me to show you all. Also if you look at many papers I did during my studies who didn't had proofreader support there always comments on my grammar and punctuation. My thinking is clear, but other part of the brain is difficult which is to express my thinking into words. I am really good at observations, imaginations and that. I am not a perfect writer.

People should not criticise by who I am why I am not perfect at speaking and writing. I have done blogs, public speeches and that. Only when people approach to me is it involves competitions, voting casts for leadership roles and that, etc. They always say I need therapies. This upsets me a lot because they don't understand my disabilities. My disabilities causes impact on my language, and how that going to cure? Especially after the years of speech therapies and that? I am not trying to be negative, I am just saying it is the way my brain designed that way. I accepted myself and I am comfortable about it, 100%. That why I am continuing to write and speak.

My part-time government job here in Brisbane didn't have any issues with me. I worked in corporate section more than a year ago. They never had issues with me either. It because I had help and support. It is so much easier to get me around and do the tasks that need to be done when I have support. Like once I become a politician, of course I will need support. I would get a sign language interpreter, a proofreader and assistant. Think about accommodations around people. There is a huge difference between things you can do but you can't be perfect compared to being negative saying "I can't do this".

This same attitude applies to women rejecting me as well.

Government jobs are good with accommodations. Are you still in that job? If not, why did you leave? Where are you working now?

I am working with the government, that is Brisbane City Council. I never said I left or anything. I never have problems in workplace before because it involves understanding people, are professionals, intelligent conversations and that. It works very well for me.

Ahh. It's just that you were speaking in past tense. I'm glad to hear council work is precise and easy to understand. I have trouble understanding some of the bizarre stuff DHS does but that's where I work.