Possible ways to help many autistic people find love?

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Do I believe that to find love for people is societies responsibility? Goodness no.

My thinking is more focused on meeting basic needs as a means of a safety net.

If you have the means, go to Morocco, women approach men there.

My "Longterm visions" include many more things than I personally could possibly ever have enough time (or "spoons") to do in the entire remainder of my life, even if I were still young and didn't have to spend any time at all on sleep. So I personally can only do some of them. And, in particular, I can do only some of them now. Others who agree with my vision will have to do the rest, if they desire these things strongly enough.

Besides, I don't want to become the superstar leader of at least 98% of the bigger and better future autistic community worldwide, which is what I would necessarily end up becoming if I were somehow to acquire the magical ability to implement all of my longterm visions all by myself.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 01 Mar 2020, 1:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I was disheartened especially when the girl I found attractive slapped my hand. She would also cuddle with guys even if she wasn’t dating them but wouldn’t do that for me. I sometimes wish I killed myself back then and there.

They never told me. One of them was an ex-friend who became hostile towards me.

Last edited by Marknis on 01 Mar 2020, 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You must have a season ticket Beirut <=> Rabat.

One major issue I've seen on this forum is that lots of people don't know the difference between Aspergers & being an a$$hole. There are more than a few people on the spectrum who are a$$holes but I've seen LOTS of threads on this forum in the past by NTs who have no psych background who think their jerk & even in some cases abusive partner is an Aspie because their partner lacks empathy towards them. I think we need alot more autism awareness that explains the way a caring Aspie acts towards their partner & the difference between how an uncaring jerk or a$$hole acts towards their partner. I worry that this confusion over negative stigma is causing more than a few NTs to be needlessly or very overly wary of Aspies. There's a thread in the In Depth Adult section about a site called Heartlessaspergers.com & I suspect NTs not knowing the difference between a$$holes & Aspergers is a major factor as to why that site got started.

My detractors here and those who agree with them just want me to be an ‘useful idiot’ instead of getting better. I am expected to be a robot instead of a fellow human being.

Do you have any on topic help to offer or suggestions that would assist Mona, another member that are on the topic of the thread?

I wish social expectations would change but even the women I’ve encountered who consider themselves feminists don’t seem to want to challenge the expectation that men should always make the first move. I also wish men like me wouldn’t be written off as “incels” but the majority here do not want me to have a girlfriend.

I used to hope I could be in a documentary or be interviewed for an article about my struggles in finding love and show that not every male who struggles to get a girlfriend is an “incel”.

Many of the things you list on your project Mona Pereth sounds nice but, a little too unrealistic. NTs are in the majority and we are in the minority so these communities would most likely have to be funded by autistic people themselves(which many don't have much money so pretty hard to do so).

Many NTs wouldn't have the resources or the time(and to be honest the sympathy and compassion) to really want to fund such a thing. There is something like that in Houston which sounds similar to what you're envisioning but even then, the success rate isn't exactly high. There are even places that look for people on the spectrum but, it comes with certain traits like loyalty, high focus on tasks, being on time, etc(And many of them also tend to be in the technological field as well). Autism is a broad spectrum and what might work for one might not work for another(such as many looking for people with autism in the tech field and I'm not tech savvy).

As for finding love, just like NTs, love is something that pretty much comes down to luck. Yeah the more people you meet the better your chances but, at the end of the day luck plays a big part in finding love. I know you mean well and want to help(I really would too) but, I've been to something similar and it didn't really get me that far(But that's my experience, yours might be totally different so take what I said with a grain of salt).

What's not yet known is how many of these women would really prefer not to be confined to a passive role, but are afraid to challenge it, perhaps believing that it's not possible to challenge it without scaring away all potentially interested men, or at least the more desirable men.

To any sociologists out there who might be reading this: Please consider doing a study of how many heterosexuals (and bisexuals) are actually satisfied with the current mainstream dating custom of expecting the man to take all the social initiative. How many people, both women and men, actually resent this custom but feel powerless to change it?


I doubt that anyone here specifically wants you to not have a girlfriend. Various people here, including myself, have said that you should focus more on other goals, such as moving to Austin. The reason for this is that we believe you could increase your chances of finding a girlfriend by focusing more on these other goals.

But I acknowledge that finding a girlfriend would still be tough for you in any case, and for quite a few of the other men here too, and that the reasons for this are not all your fault. That's why I think we as a community should brainstorm ways that we as a community can make this collectively easier (without making it anyone's obligation to become anyone's mate, of course).

Some funding could come from some NT parents and other relatives of autistic people who are involved in the funded projects. And, once a project really gets going in earnest, it might be able to apply for foundation grants (if non-profit) or commercial bank loans (if a for-profit venture).


Many NT's wouldn't, but some would.


Can you tell me the name of the specific thing in Houston that you are referring to?


We need a lot more autistic-friendly workplaces, for workers in a variety of different professions / occupations. The first step in encouraging a lot more autistic-friendly workplaces to come into existence is to create groups of autistic workers who work, or want to work, in particular career categories. (See Autistic Workers Project.) Once enough such groups come into existence and get enough publicity, hopefully more and more relatively well-to-do NT parents of autistic people will be inspired to create autistic-friendly businesses to employ both their own offspring and other autistic people from humbler backgrounds.


Could you tell me a little more about the specific "something similar" that you are referring to above?

So what is different in Morocco that makes this be the case?

Just theory, but my guess due to combination of:
- Very strong french influence, stronger than any other place in the Arab world - hence probably why their women are known to be the boldest among the Arab world.
- Berber influence, most Moroccans are originally Berbers (about 40% still speak the language) and women in Berber culture have historically a better status than other Arabs.
- Desperate for marriage before a certain age, like the case in most Arab cultures and they're no exception in that.

This nurse thinks it's the state's responsibility.

She's cute. Where do I volunteer? I'm sure the need for covid-19 nurses is about to drastically inflate around here.