Love is a horrible lie

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12 Mar 2020, 8:25 am

i'm reminded of an old elvis song where he says, "i'd rather go on hearin' your lies, than to go on living without you."

Fnord
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12 Mar 2020, 8:28 am

auntblabby wrote:

i'm reminded of an old elvis song where he says, "i'd rather go on hearin' your lies, than to go on living without you."

Those lyrics are from "Are You Lonesome Tonight?", written by Roy Turk and Lou Handman in 1926.

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?"

Are you lonesome tonight
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a brighter sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?

Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world's a stage
And each of us must play a part
Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweetheart
Act one was where we met
I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to changed, you acted strange
And why I've never know
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than to go on living without you
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then they can bring the curtain down

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

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12 Mar 2020, 10:27 am

none equal since he left the building.

quite an extreme
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12 Mar 2020, 5:22 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Pffft. The amount of times I've made the effort and done all I can for someone and I've not been enough shows how that's not true.

I am not loved romantically by anyone. I never have been. There's no one. Never has been. Never will be.

Don't ever give up. Become more aware of yourself and your own emotions. Long ago I thought love being kind of self-hynosis that I'm unable to. But I was wrong. It's just something that just rarely happens. To realize that somebody likes you as you do like him or her. To be sure about each others feelings. To have fun with each other and to enjoy every moment that you are together. No need to be artifical or to hide your emotions. It's once you emotionally understand the ode to joy ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_Joy ) But it's kind of a strange thing though. :wink:

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12 Mar 2020, 5:33 pm

If you stop looking and live your life, that's when someone will show up. That's been my experience.

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13 Mar 2020, 3:01 am

that was my experience when i stopped wishing and hoping. but it taught me that i don't have those genes.

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14 Mar 2020, 12:15 am

I hope that things improve for you, soon.

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14 Mar 2020, 1:06 am

hurtloam wrote:

I dunno. Last guy was an aspie. Even he didn't value me. He was really bluntly not very caring as well. Not supportive. Just didn't understand why I was hurt.

Got another aspie friend who isn't interested in me.

I definitely need quirky and thinking outside the box though.

I'm glad to hear you were open to the idea of a relationship with an Aspie man. (A while back I recall you dismissing this idea.)

If you hang out with enough Aspie men, especially older ones, who are at least as "high functioning" as you and who also share your interests and with whom you can have mutually enjoyable conversations, it seems to me almost inevitable that at least one of them will develop a romantic interest in you. At the very least, it seems to me that your chances would be much better with Aspie men than with NT's, even quirky NT's.

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14 Mar 2020, 3:12 am

There may be a misunderstanding. I think us aspies are more suited to each other. We talk about interesting things. We think differently to NTs. I don't see the point of trying to please NTs in the dating world. How can we be happy pretending all the time?

That's why I work in IT. My first ever job was in an office full of NT women and it was hell. I work with aspies and awkward clever people now.

I won't have a relationship with someone lower functioning than me. I don't want to be someone's Mum. I know women who've married lower functioning men and their lives are frustrating. They are not happy. They are tired. They have no one to support them.

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14 Mar 2020, 10:31 am

hurtloam wrote:

I won't have a relationship with someone lower functioning than me. I don't want to be someone's Mum. I know women who've married lower functioning men and their lives are frustrating. They are not happy. They are tired. They have no one to support them.

That's the reason why I prefer dependent women when it comes to romantic relationships. I'm very dependent myself & my mom resented me for it & I NEVER had a close relationship with her or got along with her majorly well. I find depdnent people tend to look down on me in general, especially when it came to trying to get a romantic relationship so I figured someone around my level or worse would be better for me.

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30 Mar 2020, 12:29 am

It'll never happen for me. There's just something unfixable wrong with me that men do not want and I can't pretend to be something I'm not.

I'm just rubbish in a romantic context even though I've got lots of other really good strengths.

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30 Mar 2020, 12:42 am

^^^what are your other strengths?

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31 Mar 2020, 6:31 pm

I like to think it's more of a social convenience. A way to increase your investing power through shared cost of living.

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31 Mar 2020, 11:11 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I like to think it's more of a social convenience. A way to increase your investing power through shared cost of living.

That's not love. That's having a roommate who's willing to f**k you.

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01 Apr 2020, 12:05 pm

hurtloam wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I like to think it's more of a social convenience. A way to increase your investing power through shared cost of living.

That's not love. That's having a roommate who's willing to f**k you.

I think that can evolve into real love over time. Lots of people start relationships based on that spark thing or just clicking/meshing really well together. Whereas I base love on things like mutual respect, commitment, trust, loyalty, & acceptance of each other &/or willingness to try & improve for each other & help each other become better people. My form of love is something that grows & develops over time & it could start from a situation like living together or simply spending a lot of time together.

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01 Apr 2020, 1:06 pm

nick007 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I like to think it's more of a social convenience. A way to increase your investing power through shared cost of living.

That's not love. That's having a roommate who's willing to f**k you.

I used to agree with that. But time seems to out people off me.

I also know a handful of unhappily coupled up people and its just sad.

A married friend of mine has never been in love, just married, at about 40, the only person who would have him. Never did fall for her, they just live together.

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