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Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

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Pepe
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17 Mar 2021, 12:24 am

Alterity wrote:
I'll agree that people seek out the most attractive mate...but attractive isn't necessarily about physical looks or social status. And what different people find attractive is subjective.


Attractive people can have good personalities, also.
Look at me. 8)

Alterity wrote:
People might not pair up that much because of similar interests but those things do tend to 'open doors' to the possibility of it. Also interests are an extension or branch from our mentalities and values. Those two things do tend to be what can make a relationship when they are compatible between two people. So interests are not entirely unrelated to the relationship process.

Anyway, since this thread popped up again I figured I someone should say that the OP, Leon, succeeded in getting a girlfriend last year. And last I knew was in the process to moving where she lives to be with her.

I give it a year.
2, tops. 8)



dorkseid
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17 Mar 2021, 8:12 am

Pepe wrote:
Attractive people can have good personalities, also.
Look at me. 8)



Haven't you heard? You're so creepy you've been canceled.



kraftiekortie
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17 Mar 2021, 8:17 am

Maybe Pepe Le Pew----but not Pepe Wrong Planet.

He's a little too obsessed with the "left" for my tastes-----but he's mostly all right.

He'd prefer a Platonic relationship, actually.

And you ain't doing so bad yourself, Dorkseid. Just start walking around the block, and proceed from there.

It's very hard to fail Grad School. Basically, you fail if you don't submit papers at all. If you submit a lousy paper, you usually get a "B." I've taken four Grad School courses---so I know how it works.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 17 Mar 2021, 8:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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17 Mar 2021, 8:20 am

I'm not more than a "6" or a "7." Some days, I might be a "4" or a "5." I'm short, nerdy, and my conversational skills vary based on my mood.

But I've attracted women "out of my league."

This Alpha/numbers thing is all nonsense. This "biology" crap is all nonsense. We are human beings, not nonhuman animals.



nick007
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17 Mar 2021, 12:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm not more than a "6" or a "7." Some days, I might be a "4" or a "5." I'm short, nerdy, and my conversational skills vary based on my mood.

But I've attracted women "out of my league."

This Alpha/numbers thing is all nonsense. This "biology" crap is all nonsense. We are human beings, not nonhuman animals.
I do think that different types of people can have types they tend to attract & choose to be with but I do NOT think there is a very hard set rule about it. People can have odd taste sometimes & they can have odd things about them that others don't notice on the surface.
I'm suddenly thinking of the movie, She's Out Of My League :arrow:





& I'll post a song too cuz I was listening to this group a couple days ago & the song popped back in my head :arrow:


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Alterity
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20 Mar 2021, 8:29 pm

nick007 wrote:
Alterity wrote:

Anyway, since this thread popped up again I figured I/someone should say that the OP, Leon, succeeded in getting a girlfriend last year. And last I knew was in the process to moving where she lives to be with her.

That's awesome :D I didn't know this thread was that old. Thanx for the update. We don't hear about enough positive things on this forum. In general people come & post on support sites like this when they're having a problem. It's always great to hear about potential success. I don't get jelly of anyone unless they achieve their success by playing dirty

Mn, he met her on another kind of support site actually. But he was quite happy last I knew and had it set to move to her in July 2020. He said he probably wasn't going to keep coming here and he hasn't lol So I can only assume he is still happy enough.

dorkseid wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Attractive people can have good personalities, also.
Look at me. 8)



Haven't you heard? You're so creepy you've been canceled.

:lmao: I'm dead


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dorkseid
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20 Mar 2021, 10:06 pm

nick007 wrote:
I do think that different types of people can have types they tend to attract & choose to be with but I do NOT think there is a very hard set rule about it. People can have odd taste sometimes & they can have odd things about them that others don't notice on the surface.
I'm suddenly thinking of the movie, She's Out Of My League :arrow:



You do realize that movie is a work of fiction, right? It's like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. The whole reason people like these things is because they offer the fantasy of something that would never, ever, ever, happen in real life. That's the whole point.



nick007
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20 Mar 2021, 10:16 pm

dorkseid wrote:
You do realize that movie is a work of fiction, right? It's like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. The whole reason people like these things is because they offer the fantasy of something that would never, ever, ever, happen in real life. That's the whole point.
Of corse it's fiction & there's plenty of outrageous stuff in it but a successful popular woman falling for a sweet dork is not one of them. I've known various cases where that happened. Some of the times the guys were kinda charity cases & the woman were very sweet.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2021, 3:20 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
People never pair up based on interests, this is a common cliché myth.


What do they pair up on?


Having common interests just increase the odds of introducing one to someone; it has an introductory effect at very beginning.

But two people won’t find each other attractive because of “shared interests”. It is a very minor thing when it comes to attraction.
tldr; If she finds you ugly she will always find you ugly even if you share tons of exact interests.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Mar 2021, 3:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

r00tb33r
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21 Mar 2021, 3:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
People never pair up based on interests, this is a common cliché myth.


What do they pair up on?


Having common interests just increase the odds of meeting someone.

But two people won’t find each other attractive because of “shared interests”. It is a very minor thing when it comes to attraction.

Some attractions happen immediately while others are developed over time. Sharing an activity may lead to the development of those, and those may actually last better.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2021, 3:25 am

^ this all what it may do, but it is never the reason of attraction.



dorkseid
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21 Mar 2021, 3:24 pm

nick007 wrote:
Of corse it's fiction & there's plenty of outrageous stuff in it but a successful popular woman falling for a sweet dork is not one of them. I've known various cases where that happened. Some of the times the guys were kinda charity cases & the woman were very sweet.


Well I've never seen it happen.

I'm 39 years old, and I haven't been in a relationship in 12 years. And even when I was, it was with someone I wasn't attracted to that I settled for out of desperation. And it turned out that she was a psychologically abusive predator who was specifically looking for someone emotionally vulnerable whom she could easily exposit and manipulate.