no genuine, intelligent guy would respect me.
HopeGrows
Veteran

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
Well OP, my best advice to you is to stop being a bystander in your own relationships, and start making some choices. Clearly, your current relationship isn't meeting your needs, and it hasn't been for the two months you've been involved - so why are you still involved with him? You're absolutely correct that his interest in you is sexual only. Since that's not what you want, why have you continued to see him?
The world is full of people who are happy to use you (for whatever reason). What's missing in your story is the application of your own standards to the men in your relationships. Yes, a genuine, intelligent guy will respect you - just as soon as you start respecting yourself. That means if you don't want to be used for sex, you shouldn't allow your relationships to become sexual until you're sure of the guy's character. (And no, there's no formula for that - it's not "x" number of dates - it's when he's demonstrated that he values you; that he never treats you as though you're stupid; that he communicates the way you want to communicate, that he cares about your needs, etc.) If he pressures you for sex before you're sure of his character, let him go. There will always be men who will use every tactic they have to get you into bed - it's your job to weed through the guys who just want to hit and quit it, and the guys who actually care about you (that's pretty much every woman's job).
So while you're getting a lot of advice about how to find a better class of men (a lot of which is good), I think you need to understand that your behavior needs to change as well. When you find you're not getting what you need from a relationship, DTMFA. You have to look out for your own best interests - and that means applying your own standards and making your own choices. Don't depend on any guy who asks you out to look out for you more than you look out for yourself (which I believe is what you've been doing). You want a better kind of relationship - the first step in getting that is refusing to settle for less. Good luck.
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What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful...
Not if you're insisting on a perfect match. There never is. Even the so-called perfect couples have their moments; the difference isn't that they fit together and match each other perfectly, it's that they communicate with each other effectively, whatever that means for each of them. My grandfather, who I'm almost certain had AS, was happily married to my grandmother for more than fifty years. They raised three children together. That doesn't mean they never disagreed with each other or that they were a perfect match for each other in every way, just that when problems arose they handled them together, each working to their own strengths. It's true that you'll likely never find anyone you "fit" with; like Prince Charming, that person is a fantasy. (Prince Charming rarely lasts past the first load of his laundry.) However, you may very well find several over they years with whom you are compatable.
Dump that guy. It's going nowhere good.
This is interesting because although you claim you can't tell what men are thinking, your analysis of that guy's intentions was pretty damned accurate.
But you do mention that you have an issue with communication, and unfortunately the vast majority of people aren't familiar with such issues and pass them off as something else. It may amount to an ideal guy who is understanding of the situation and welcomes it; these people do exist but they take a little time to find.