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So I watched that dating and flirting video...

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MXH
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26 Jul 2012, 8:49 pm

spongy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
KenM wrote:
I have learned to be wary of salespeople in stores coming over to me and chatting me up. I hate it, I hate the small talk in this situation because it does not mean anything. I can tell the salesmen is only after one thing and I walk away. Nothing turns me off more then a salesmen trying to get me to buy something. If I want to buy something, I will find someone myself and ask questions. Otherwise get out of my face and leave me be.

I think women having many men doing same thing fell the same way. ;)

yes EXACTLY!! !! ! :bounce:

Thats why you need to try to approach them in a way that they havent been approached before so that it seems a little more exciting.

Yesterday I spent a few hours watching an acquaintance approach above average females to "ask them a life or death question"(Whatever joke question came to his mind at the time) and try to keep the conversation going after tthey laugh.
I thought it was messed up and not going to work.

After I saw him keep a conversation for 10 minutes with a woman he had approached asking wether he looked like a drug dealer or not(in a joking tone) I had to give his approach some credit


what will you say if i tell you that is straight out of PUA material?



nick007
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26 Jul 2012, 9:45 pm

It may help the guy initially get a girl interested but the girl may expect the guy to be better with social skills than the guy actually is & there could be problems when he cant keep the act up


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MXH
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26 Jul 2012, 9:46 pm

nick007 wrote:
It may help the guy initially get a girl interested but the girl may expect the guy to be better with social skills than the guy actually is & there could be problems when he cant keep the act up


but whos to say it has to be an act?



nick007
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26 Jul 2012, 10:15 pm

MXH wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It may help the guy initially get a girl interested but the girl may expect the guy to be better with social skills than the guy actually is & there could be problems when he cant keep the act up


but whos to say it has to be an act?

I would find doing that to be very draining; I would have to focus quite a lot to do it & I would need a break to myself shortly after & I might screw up talking to her because of not focusing due to feeling so drained


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MXH
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26 Jul 2012, 10:20 pm

nick007 wrote:
MXH wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It may help the guy initially get a girl interested but the girl may expect the guy to be better with social skills than the guy actually is & there could be problems when he cant keep the act up


but whos to say it has to be an act?

I would find doing that to be very draining; I would have to focus quite a lot to do it & I would need a break to myself shortly after & I might screw up talking to her because of not focusing due to feeling so drained


all im saying is that this isnt "the single way to meet women" but just one of the possible ways to do so.



nick007
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26 Jul 2012, 10:32 pm

MXH wrote:
nick007 wrote:
MXH wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It may help the guy initially get a girl interested but the girl may expect the guy to be better with social skills than the guy actually is & there could be problems when he cant keep the act up


but whos to say it has to be an act?

I would find doing that to be very draining; I would have to focus quite a lot to do it & I would need a break to myself shortly after & I might screw up talking to her because of not focusing due to feeling so drained


all im saying is that this isnt "the single way to meet women" but just one of the possible ways to do so.

OH I get what your saying now. I misunderstood


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spongy
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27 Jul 2012, 12:14 am

MXH wrote:
spongy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
KenM wrote:
I have learned to be wary of salespeople in stores coming over to me and chatting me up. I hate it, I hate the small talk in this situation because it does not mean anything. I can tell the salesmen is only after one thing and I walk away. Nothing turns me off more then a salesmen trying to get me to buy something. If I want to buy something, I will find someone myself and ask questions. Otherwise get out of my face and leave me be.

I think women having many men doing same thing fell the same way. ;)

yes EXACTLY!! !! ! :bounce:

Thats why you need to try to approach them in a way that they havent been approached before so that it seems a little more exciting.

Yesterday I spent a few hours watching an acquaintance approach above average females to "ask them a life or death question"(Whatever joke question came to his mind at the time) and try to keep the conversation going after tthey laugh.
I thought it was messed up and not going to work.

After I saw him keep a conversation for 10 minutes with a woman he had approached asking wether he looked like a drug dealer or not(in a joking tone) I had to give his approach some credit


what will you say if i tell you that is straight out of PUA material?

I would say that Im more than aware of that and it s why I had some doubts about it.

After reading a few books on the subject I figured itd be best to try to watch someone doing it live and this guy was more than willing to show it.

I dont think that it is for me(there was another person just looking at what he did with me who had been trying to learn how to do that for over a year and Im afraid Id end up as this person) but as I said in this board recemtly if it works for you and you are aware of its limitations Im more than happy for you.



MXH
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27 Jul 2012, 12:21 am

I have no issue with PUA material since i can go beyond what they claim of mind control into the basics of playing the numbers and location to your favor, having something to say, looking better, etc. Just like everything theres some a**holes in it, theres plenty of those in every group. Yea the name is questionable but so long as you dont take PUA as a pure lifestyle it can be a very eye opening thing for someone lacking experience.

Now, when you're watching a video on PUA and the guy describes how he can go somewhere and talk to women and you realize its exactly what you do but it doesnt work for you then you understand how its still a matter of what you're selling and not how.



gotwake
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27 Jul 2012, 1:08 am

lady_katie wrote:
gotwake wrote:
I guess the point is: I don't give a crap about this stuff. I can be lonely if it means not being superficial. Why can't everyone just be real? I'm sick of saying, "great! How are you?" on rainy ass days as a formality... and the "flirting" equivelants.... whatever they are.


If this is who you are, than you might not be very happy with a person who does value these things. I don't know if this helps you or not, but when I met my husband, we skipped the small talk and almost immediately started discussing photography. It turned out that we had a mutual interest, so the next time he knew he was going to see me, he brought some of his photos to show me. Real discussion, real interest. It took him a long time to actually ask me out on a date, but by the time he did I was pretty much in love with him (for who he IS not how he acted) so I think that made it easier on him.


That post was just awesome! Hope! Thanks for sharing.



gotwake
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27 Jul 2012, 1:30 am

Incidentally, a co-worker came up to me after work when I was having a beer and said, "My friend wants to "seduce" you!" It wasn't even like I couldn't handle the situation. It just pisses me off when people are that straight-forward. People get pretty pissed when I say this, but I don't want anything to do with any girl I would ever meet at a bar. Sorry if that offends anyone.

And the whole "signal" thing just always seemed to me like some sort of attempt to trick somebody into liking you.

I think I'm done with the trying to be social thing. Other people are saying they like that I am trying to be social, but everything I say anymore is just not me, fake words that I dont freaking mean just to fit in and carry on conversation, like my inner voice keeps screaming "GET OUT OF HERE AND READ A BOOK!! !"

AND what I REALLY can't stand is when somebody is trying to flirt with you, and friends or co-workers try to TELL you that and tell you to reciprocate, when it's not that you can't or don't know how to respond, but because you DONT WANT TO. There are certain people I just dont want to associate with; I don't care HOW attractive or into me they are. Damn.



PastFixations
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27 Jul 2012, 3:56 am

LOL! I just thought... nobody is attractive when you go to the Doctors. :lol:
It's either old people or kids with a viral infection.


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