Ladies, wouldn't that bother you? (A bomb question)

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I once messaged a girl like that. I felt really bad when she said that she will give up dating unless I'll date her. I didn't date her, but on the bright side, she didn't give up. I saw her profile still on the website for a long time after this.

guess I'd be screwed then. I won't dat somone who isn't a good compatibiltyt match. personality and interest is more important then haivng a relationship just of having one and sex.

as someone who has been married for six years, and who has lost her sex drive due to menopause, i'd like to say that what we have left is a lot more than a contract. we enjoy spending time with each other. we learn from each other. we look out for each other. we respect each other. we still have sex because he enjoys it and i remember enjoying it and would never take that from someone i love. i enjoy the cuddling and pillow talk after. we hold hands a lot. we kiss a lot. it's affection, not sex. we are best friends. we keep each others' secrets. we ask each other for advice and understanding. contract? yes, we divide the responsibilities, but it's not that cut and dried.

I don't think so

Reviving this thread - this should be a sticky.

And again, only blue_bean on the first page got it right so far.

A bomb question indeed.

So everyone who answers truthfully is wrong unless it matches your own preconceived ideas?

Thread should detonate now.

^ Yes, BOOM!

Ka-freaking-boom.

Must be a slow night in Boo land.

The equivalent question for guys would be like "Wouldn't bother you if you find out that your current gf/wife went for you just because you happened to be the first guy in her life to ask her out?".

But I know that most guys wouldn't care anyway and it's something rarely happens anyway.

We see way more threads on forums the typical "A girl replied me on okc, what to do??"/ "A girl said yes, what to do??" than "A guy asked me out on okc, what to do??".

There is no one correct or incorrect answer to this, because it's a question of opinion. The only way it can be incorrect is if the person isn't telling the truth about what he/she thinks.

Yes, it would bother me. Because a person is supposed to like me for me, not because I'm the only option available. If a person is only dating me because he is desperate and has had no other options, then it stands to reason that if he found another better option in the future, he'd take it. Without real chemistry, compatibility, and emotional attachment from both sides, there is no point.

So yeah, if a guy is just messaging hundreds of women more or less indiscriminately to get a response, I wouldn't be in the least bit interested. I also wouldn't be interested in someone who messaged girls based on appearance alone.

Generally it makes sense to potentially date someone who messages you back even if it is your first response after 100's. Then dating the person is where you decide if you want to be with that person long term and consider it a committed relationship. It wouldn't bother me if I was the only one who responded back to a guy and that is why they decided to try dating me.....Now if it was specifically that he probably wouldn't have picked me out of other choices then that might be a bit more bothersome, like if they felt they are just 'settling' for someone who if given the choice they'd go for someone else.

I certainly didn't have a lot of suitors or admirers to filter through to pick my guy...he was just one of the few who sent me a messege that I could work with and was receptive to wanting to meet in person. I think a few I talked to perhaps decided against meeting in person after messaging me one on one on okcupid or they weren't receptive to hints like 'we should meet up sometime'. I got no responses back from initial messages I sent to guys.

god you're always on about dating sites. that makes you kind of uninteresting i guess

Out of curiosity boo what girls do you usually choose to message?

Also have you ever been the one to do the bomb question?

I don't think being someone's first partner or 'option' matters. What matters is how happy the person is with their 'only option'. Someone can start later in life & still have a wonderful relationship(s). If anything, waiting can cause people to appreciate & enjoy what they have more when they get it. So I guess, if I get back on topic, I would be upset if I was with a guy that didn't love & value me. But I wouldn't care about how many options or offers he had or didn't have when he met me.

And you're always on about how girls like you and approach you just by sitting calmly somewhere.

That makes you kinda of .... self-proclaimed boastful.

Robots...

Also, this question is perfectly applicable for real life dating, ie. guy asks out many women and goes for the one who tells him yes first.

Oh no no.....not this again, look ladies, 'choosing the girls to message' is not the same as 'choosing you out of all other options'. It seems that some other ladies before you were also equating the two systems of 'filtering' but this plain wrong.

First, a girl becomes only a gf/dating option/candidate if she wants me as well or at least if she sees me as a bf option/candidate, if not then she's not a date or gf option/candidate , I think this is fair enough, right?

So none of the girls I message are possible candidates except those who are interested in me as well.

Second, it is much less effort to message girls than to actually meet several girls interested in me, to get to know them for good with each and then to finally having to decide to CHOOSE the most compatible one.
The former is much like applying for jobs on job boards, if the job sounds ok I apply, if the job doesn't sound ok, or sounds way beyond me then I don't apply but it doesn't mean that I am so in love in every job I am applying for, I just give a shot and forget about it and move to the next vacancy; while the latter scenario is more like you got accepted for several job offers, and you have to choose the best one for you - very different.




huh?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Apr 2016, 7:38 am, edited 2 times in total.