Wanna date me?

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Hmm... probably not. If I really didn't desire him in any way. As it was clear his intentions were romantic or physical.

But it was novel and I was bored. Half a decade, more... can pass between truly interesting people. What are you meant to do in the meantime?

I knew I was not going to have a relationship with this person but I was interested enough to go to Paris with him. I guess that was what I thought. It is a long time ago now. As it turned out, Paris was fun.... enough, but he very quickly settled into the idea that we were in a relationship and it didn't suit me.

Thinking about it nearly all my socialising is walking. When I go stay with my mum we go on walks like 3 times a day. When I go meet up with my best friend, him and I, walk for like 5 hrs. Interspersed with a drink here and there (paid for separately!) I am with sly on this 100% make those dates walk!

Walking frequently brings the Unconscious to the surface...in a cathartic sense.

Very true.

Thinking about the paying / dating thing a bit more I thought of something. The hotel where we go in Italy has separate menus for men and women. On the menus for women there are no prices. I find this super offensive.

Not with each other.

I find the whole idea of "rejection as a form of comeuppance" to be ridiculous.

Well apparently the ladies aren't going for it.

Woah! So if a lesbian couple (or two sisters, or female friends...) go to dine there, nobody will know what anything costs, haha. Ridiculous.

Not $300 but $50ish
From what I gather they do. The whole dinner and movie seem pretty standard date.

Walks are free, I enjoy walks, yiu get to enjoy the beauty and sounds of nature while getting to know each other. Unless they rate a guy as datable by if he pays for dates what’s wrong with walks?

So you want to change all the bad stuff in society for women, but not bad stuff for men?
You support feminism yes? You support The Who fat movement to make fate women seen as beautiful and datable yes? Why can’t we change how women see men as datable too? We can but only if women support it.

I think if I don’t pay or don’t spend enough it’ll hurt my chances worse then yiu not wearing makeup. Lot of guys prefer women without makeup or don’t care either way.
I’d prefer no makeup on women.

Cheapest drink at coffee places is $3 for basic coffee. I can’t afford to buy a bunch of $3 drinks for women who probably won’t go out again. Is a date to get to know each other or to get free drinks? Cause I fail to see why one has to get food or drinks on a date? Why is everyone obsessed with coffeee

I asked an old manager what the going rate was for a first date these days and he said at least $100. I was joking with him about how most gay guys don't have to pay for dates at all, so we save a lot of money. I can see the cost of typical first dates varying by region. Here, literally everything from rent to groceries is VERY expensive, so I can see how people can easily spend $100 on a first date. Heck, 2 movie tickets and some popcorn comes in at about $50. Dinner for two can very easily exceed $100 at MANY common "first date" type restaurants, especially when each drink w/ tip costs ~$10. There are still a LOT of inexpensive options, though, so it's not mandatory by any stretch of the imagination to spend that kind of money. Anyways, a $100CDN date here would probably cost someone around $50USD (or less) where sly lives, just for budget comparison's sake.

It's extremely common to meet for coffee for a date because it's very inexpensive and most people drink coffee as their drug of choice' administration method & flavour. It's also a way to not include alcohol on a first date. Plus there are coffee shops literally everywhere and people are very comfortable in them. It's not difficult to realize why coffee dates are a go-to standard option for many people. $3 for a drink isn't exactly free, but it's not super expensive, either. Also, coffee is available for less than $3 a cup - even at Starbucks and the like. One can buy a couple of coffees and leave change for the barista for a $5 bill.

It's not about "free drinks," for most people. It's about the man being chivalrous and treating his date to a drink. People do eat food & drink drinks, so why not share a meal as you chat an get to know each other? This is extremely common in other forms of relationship building, too, like sales/business relationships. People "do lunch," or even have Japanese tea ceremonies as a part of conducting business communications. People make friends with people they eat with & share stories. It's an age old way of expressing comfort being around those people, and of opening up and being friendly with one another. As for the guy paying, it tells a date a lot of things.. like whether he has any money at all or means with which to earn it and be a provider, whether he's kind & generous, whether he's cheap or frugal, or frivolously wastes money.. whether he's making an effort to try to impress his date because she's worthy of such an effort - all kinds of signals get sent based on one's spending habits on a date.

People don't have to get food or drinks on a date, it's just incredibly common to share a meal/dessert/coffee or whatever in order to have something to do besides sit and interview each other.

Maybe someday heterosexuals will evolve and learn from gays that they don't have to go on a date and spend time and money in order to decide to have sex with each other. It's happening.. hence Tinder's existence.

I'm happy to spend money on a date. Money is nothing more than a tool ultimately. If you can't take a girl out for a good time then why would she want to be with you? There's no person on Earth who is so interesting that others will just spend all day every day doing absolutely bugger all while in your company.

sly if you make unsubstantiated claims about me, my beliefs, or anything I have said, after this point onward, I will report you. I believe you have been warned before about such behavior and I have given you all the chances I will give you.

If you want to exaggerate Starbucks prices or the penalty for DMV mishaps, fine, but mischaracterizing other people is not ok.

..

Last edited by sly279 on 14 Apr 2018, 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Because having a good time doesn’t require money.
My company should be enough. Apparently her company is all she has to give. Why would I want to go out with a woman who only can have a good time with my money?
She should be with me for my company regardless of what we do.
And if one sticks around long enough I can treat her with wonder vacations to a beach house. It’s for family only. Long term relationships are ok too.

We could go on walks which I quite enjoy, we can watch tv, play board games, play video games, cuddle, go play at a park. My friends and me use to walk around last night for 6 hours long. Certainly there must be women out there who do so. There certainly women who just want to stay inside their home all the time. I want one of them. There’s so much you can do for free. Hiking is free, camping is mostly free.

Also couples don’t spend all day every day together. She’ll have work and her hobbies I don’t do as will I. She’ll want to hang out with her friends too I imagine.
Money isn’t all that matters in this world.

But it matters in the world of dates & mates, whether you want to accept it or not.

There are very few women who would be content going on very many dates with a budget of zero dollars, especially first dates which are typically meant to make a good first impression. Even a picnic lunch and a bottle of wine cost something.

I'm a VERY frugal guy. I spend time, not money, on myself. But in the very rare instance that I actually have a date instead of a hookup, guess who fully expects (and is happy to) to open his wallet and pay for dinner/drinks/party tickets etc? Yep, this guy.

It's simply a part of the social world, sly. It's not impossible to go on dates without spending any money, but it's very very rare. The ONLY person I can think of that I know who preferred hiking/nature walk first dates is a fellow ASD person with a special interest in nature. Otherwise pretty much *everyone* expects to be taken out for dinner/drinks etc, as is the social norm in the world we live in.

No, money isn't all that matters in this world. But money is a tool that lets you do all sorts of things.

A lot of hobbies require money to actually get anywhere with, like mine, for instance. Money puts a roof over your head, lets you travel oversees, lets you try out interesting foods and experiences, lets you help out when she's short on cash, and all sorts of stuff.

Maybe you can get by just fine in life without much money. Fair play to you then, but don't expect all the women in the world to just ditch their money-dependent lifestyles so they can date you.