Where To Meet Women When...?

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sly279
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22 Dec 2018, 1:25 am

Claradoon wrote:

For a class where you are a minority male, be not forward or pushy or have lines. Learn the class; what to say will come naturally.

I would recommend cooking - there are so many kinds! Maybe one will appeal to you. That would be best, to have a sincere interest in the class.

Also yoga, again, not ulterior motives. If your interest is real, that should go well. Everybody relaxed.

Think outside the box - they're teaching all kinds of stuff these days. Survivalist, maybe.

Re chess - in my city there has been for decades a café for the sole purpose of playing chess. Sole requirement: show up. Owner would be grateful if you'd buy a coffee but not necessary. Any level of chess welcome. Everybody friendly. I'm not brave/good enough to go, but when you mentioned chess, can you find a place like that where you are?

My area doesn’t really have any of that
Big cities do. Just like we don’t have singles groups, speed dating or similar stuff
Portland has all of those.
Must be worse for those who live in even smaller towns

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 1:48 am

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

Claradoon
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22 Dec 2018, 1:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

You didn't hear it from women in yoga classes?

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 2:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

If I was doing it to genuinely better my body, I honestly wouldn't care. I don't think anyone would assume I'm gay just by looking at me anyway, and even if I was assumed to be gay, women are not averse to talking to homosexual men, and even just getting platonic female friends would be favourable at this stage. Plus, if they did think I was gay, it only takes three words to clear up that misconception.

If I was going there specifically looking for a partner this might be of a greater concern, but if I benefited from it in spite of whether or not I find a partner out of it it's still worth a try imo. Not entirely sure if I'll try yoga, but as my gym has free classes and some of them are yoga, it's something to consider.

Claradoon
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22 Dec 2018, 2:06 am

sly279 wrote:

How about church basements? To investigate - gatherings for all kinds of purposes, groups, classes, etc.

Once I lived in a small town and my landlady told me that the only way to a social life was to learn to play bridge. And she was right. Can you talk to somebody 20 years older than you?

My brother, the social success, began by checking coats at the Prom in high school. Gotta start somewhere. And he was so nervous that he got a bright red nose on the Day, which Mom covered expertly with make-up, which took hours. I think she baked it on but he looked normal.

Gotta start somewhere.

Claradoon
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22 Dec 2018, 2:07 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

Wow! Sign up, please! Your attitude sounds right and it's my own best bet. Oh, do, and let us know how it goes.

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 2:11 am

sly279 wrote:

Claradoon wrote:

See, that's one thing that living at home limits you from. If you lived alone or maybe even with a roommate or something, you could move to a big city or anywhere you chose, and take advantage of what it has to offer, but when you're stuck at home it's not really an option to you. I'm lucky enough to have been born in a capital city, so I don't really have that problem

Last edited by The Grand Inquisitor on 22 Dec 2018, 2:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Trueno
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22 Dec 2018, 2:11 am

Claradoon wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

Wow! Sign up, please! Your attitude sounds right and it's my own best bet. Oh, do, and let us know how it goes.

Yeh... you've got exactly the right attitude. Let us know how it goes.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 2:21 am

Claradoon wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

You didn't hear it from women in yoga classes?

I heard it from women members of yoga, oriental dance and even zumba.
Never been in a speciality yoga club, i am talking about gym classes.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 2:28 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

In my experience? Women think of guys doing yoga as gay.

Heard it countless of times as joking.

There are many ways to better your body: dieting, weight lifting, running, and cardio in general.
Treadmills are way better for making friends than classes, in my opinion, especially if the next person is just walking, not running and with no earbuds.

But you are thinking to pick yoga because, in reality, you want to attempt to kill two birds in one stone, which is bettering your body plus also increasing your chances to meet women, am I right?

The intention is in the thread title, you can’t claim now that you have zero ulterior motif by joining a yoga class.

Quote:

Not entirely sure if I'll try yoga, but as my gym has free classes and some of them are yoga, it's something to consider

.

I strongly believe that typically mixed classes would be better, go for cycling for example, classes which are often half men half women. Avoid classes like zumba and oriental dance, it is minefield, any miscommunication and you may be regarded as having an ulterior motif.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Dec 2018, 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 2:35 am

Wow Boo you're being really negative ... and slightly homophobic.

To the OP. I haven't tried yoga, but I can recommend Pilates. It seems like you're not doing much, very small movements, but it really works your body. It really strengthened my muscles.

There are men in my Pilates class.

Raleigh
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22 Dec 2018, 2:40 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I guess that "Out in a social setting" is through outings with friends where you may meet some another group, so more than 50% is through having friends.

Classes, shared interests, and stuff that people a lot suggest in forums but in real life don't work often, are in the 'other', as you can see, it's the lowest. The thing is, even if you join a yoga class for example (even though you should expect that many women judge guys joining yoga class negatively) , no one can open up a conversation during a yoga class, and if you personally know no one there, you are not likely to be able to open up a conversation with a girl after class either because she would quickly stick to her friends (members of the class) and go out.

In my experience, people leave very quickly as soon as the gym class finishes, they don't hang around the gym/club, and groups would go together to home or to some place after class.

The only time frame where you can strike a conversation to a classmate, would be before class, so you may have to come really earlier, and wait her to come, and that would really give a desperate/creepy vibe.

That's why, I can't understand how sport/gym classes can be effective in meeting women. It helps you to develop as a person, but you will need a lot of luck to develop some friendship.

In Australia, people definitely do stick around after sports/gym and chat, and then go out for coffee and breakfast together!
I can vouch for this, it happens every time (I always get invited, anyway)

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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 2:43 am

hurtloam wrote:

Homophobic means someone who hates gays, I don’t.

But I don’t like my sexuality to be mistaken either because it would make me sexualy invisible in the eyes of women immediately.

I have been assumed to be gay, mostly by women, as first impression for things I did or even because of my posture! and once a such rumor spreads it becomes hard to undo it.

Aslo I am telling him to join mixed classes, why do you see this as negative?

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 2:51 am

You can tell when someone has a crush on you though and that undoes the assumption someone is gay. I genuinely thought one of my friends was gay... until I realised he had a crush on me.

Anyway, the OP is looking to expand his social circle. And he seems genuinely interested in Yoga type exercise. Even if he doesn't fancy anyone in the class, they could have a friend or 2 he might meet through them.

Let him be.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 2:56 am

hurtloam wrote:

But I bet your initial assumption of him has killed any possible initial chemistry / attraction to ignite. It is an automatic turn off to your heterosexuality no matter how you go around it.
So his chance with you is a permanent zero because of your initial assumption of him.

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 2:57 am

Oh no he's really handsome! Me likey

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