11 May 2015, 5:10 am
11 May 2015, 5:15 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 May 2015, 5:17 am
Bondkatten wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let me asks you this and answers honestly; does the typical male on dating site who only receives like one reply out of every 100 - really "chooses" the possible partner on the dating site?
Only those with many choices and messages can choose.
Only those with many choices and messages can choose.
Hmm tough one, I think that my bf is what I would call an atypical normal man and I was the only one that wrote to him on the site (more looking for friends site than only dating) because he wrote from The Netherlands on a Swedish site, that made me curious and I only wrote to him, I didn't find any interest in anyone else on the site. But it was not like he couldn't get a gf in the Netherlands or so, he was also more looking for a friend in Sweden since he had an interest in Scandinavia and Sweden. I was the only one that wrote but he immediately liked me for me. I've never had doubts that he liked me only because I was the only one that wrote to him. Sometimes you are lucky. But I think that maybe if someone is very desperate it can be that will decide that they "like" the partner.
Regarding my controversial question:
It doesn't matter if you didn't have interest in anyone else, what is important that you had choices, and since you are a female on dating there I bet that you received tons of messages (even if you exclude the lame/pervert ones); but you CHOSE him in the first place.
It doesn't matter that he really liked you for you later on, what is important, that him like an "atypical" male (aka typically not loveable man) you were the only one who wrote him, so he didn't have any other choice really.
I don't believe in this whole "I am just seeking for a friend" on a dating site.
Really, I find this is a sad truth, but this is my opinion.
Yes, I am mean.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 11 May 2015, 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
11 May 2015, 5:17 am
Bondkatten wrote:
trollcatman wrote:
I don't know, but people need to pick a date from 1000s of people and they have nothing to go on. They obviously can't date 1000 people at the same time so they ditch 990 people based on appearance and only consider the 10 most attractive ones. Of course whether their personalities and interests match up is completely unrelated.
It's the same with people applying for a job opening. They are looking for 1 person, 1000 people send in their resumees. First they ditch everyone without a university degree, then they ditch everyone with a postal code from a bad neighbourhood, then they ditch everyone over 40, then they ditch everyone with a foreign sounding name, then they ditch all women. At that point they are left with 10 people they are willing to invite for the job interview and the other 990 get a letter saying "thank you for your interest" if they are lucky. Very cynical, but that's how the world is.
It's the same with people applying for a job opening. They are looking for 1 person, 1000 people send in their resumees. First they ditch everyone without a university degree, then they ditch everyone with a postal code from a bad neighbourhood, then they ditch everyone over 40, then they ditch everyone with a foreign sounding name, then they ditch all women. At that point they are left with 10 people they are willing to invite for the job interview and the other 990 get a letter saying "thank you for your interest" if they are lucky. Very cynical, but that's how the world is.
If that how it works I must be really weird
I made contact on a site with my bf, and then we started chatting, I never cared what he did for a living or any such things. What was important for me was that when we started chatting, it went natural and he was easy to talk to and that we shared the same humor
I also did not give him my picture directly; I gave it after a while. I didn't have my picture on the profile, and strange thing was a got a lot of perverts writing to me...
But to go on dates with people, just after reading a profile or so sounds like a nightmare to me...
I think most people will chat before going on a date, but they already filtered out 90% of people before even starting the chat, based on either profile or pic.
Perverts writing you is because some men will just send a message to anyone with XX chromosomes. Look at that experiment Boo posted, men don't get many responses so some men will just message everyone. It's like the dude who tries to get a phone number from every girl in the pub and fails 99% of the time.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 May 2015, 5:22 am
11 May 2015, 5:27 am
11 May 2015, 5:28 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Regarding my controversial question:
It doesn't matter if you didn't have interest in anyone else, what is important that you had choices, and since you are a female on dating there I bet that you received tons of messages (even if you exclude the lame/pervert ones); but you CHOSE him in the first place.
It doesn't matter that he really liked you for you later on, what is important, that him like an "atypical" male (aka typically not loveable man) you were the only one who wrote him, so he didn't have any other choice really.
I don't believe in this whole "I am just seeking for a friend" on a dating site.
Really, I find this is a sad truth, but this is my opinion.
Yes, I am mean.
It doesn't matter if you didn't have interest in anyone else, what is important that you had choices, and since you are a female on dating there I bet that you received tons of messages (even if you exclude the lame/pervert ones); but you CHOSE him in the first place.
It doesn't matter that he really liked you for you later on, what is important, that him like an "atypical" male (aka typically not loveable man) you were the only one who wrote him, so he didn't have any other choice really.
I don't believe in this whole "I am just seeking for a friend" on a dating site.
Really, I find this is a sad truth, but this is my opinion.
Yes, I am mean.
I think you want to live in a cynical world
I'm sure he was looking for a friend; I think it would have been easier otherwise looking in The Netherlands. Traveling 850 km for a date is not something people typically do
And he wanted to practice his Swedish. I mean I'm here on this site, I like chatting and I like practicing my English, it does not mean that I'm looking for a second bf 
With atypical I meant that he is very open minded and non judgmental.
And I swear to you that every single response that I got was from perverts...all were like 45+ , I was 25. I got annoyed so I looked to see if I found anyone interesting and I did and I wrote to him. Success!! !
11 May 2015, 5:30 am
Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
That's a good question Amity and I would also like to know the answer
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 May 2015, 5:34 am
11 May 2015, 5:37 am
11 May 2015, 5:39 am
Bondkatten wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Regarding my controversial question:
It doesn't matter if you didn't have interest in anyone else, what is important that you had choices, and since you are a female on dating there I bet that you received tons of messages (even if you exclude the lame/pervert ones); but you CHOSE him in the first place.
It doesn't matter that he really liked you for you later on, what is important, that him like an "atypical" male (aka typically not loveable man) you were the only one who wrote him, so he didn't have any other choice really.
I don't believe in this whole "I am just seeking for a friend" on a dating site.
Really, I find this is a sad truth, but this is my opinion.
Yes, I am mean.
It doesn't matter if you didn't have interest in anyone else, what is important that you had choices, and since you are a female on dating there I bet that you received tons of messages (even if you exclude the lame/pervert ones); but you CHOSE him in the first place.
It doesn't matter that he really liked you for you later on, what is important, that him like an "atypical" male (aka typically not loveable man) you were the only one who wrote him, so he didn't have any other choice really.
I don't believe in this whole "I am just seeking for a friend" on a dating site.
Really, I find this is a sad truth, but this is my opinion.
Yes, I am mean.
I think you want to live in a cynical world
I'm sure he was looking for a friend; I think it would have been easier otherwise looking in The Netherlands. Traveling 850 km for a date is not something people typically do
And he wanted to practice his Swedish. I mean I'm here on this site, I like chatting and I like practicing my English, it does not mean that I'm looking for a second bf With atypical I meant that he is very open minded and non judgmental.
And I swear to you that every single response that I got was from perverts...all were like 45+ , I was 25. I got annoyed so I looked to see if I found anyone interesting and I did and I wrote to him. Success!! !
You are not looking for a second bf?
I know all about Sweden, from Sigurd Ring to Erik the Heathen to the Kalmar Union to the Swedish Empire to the Bernadottes. The mounds at Upsalla! And of course all the furry Norwegian forest kitties. And the goo food.
That pervert thing is real, I remember being in a pub years ago with a bunch of friends and one of them was a girl (16 or so), and she was approached a couple of times by 50+ men who asked for her phone number. Creepy.
11 May 2015, 5:39 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
Hi Clone,
Tinder is more realistic than Okcupid with its well-sculpted profiles, Tinder just shows photos with short descriptions, like in real life when you first meet someone you only see his appearance and you might get very very little idea about him. and you either find him attractive or not on first go - you might find him unattractive later if he turns out to be an ass but that wasn't my point.
The okcupid's profiles are often well-sculpted over time, often by the help of friends too and internet forum members, the outcome at the end doesn't really project the person.
And even on sites like okcupid, looks is the most important factor (as well the gender) like proven in this experiment (reposting link):
http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction- ... xperiment/
Uh Huh, thats all fascinating if you are interested in online dating analysis
. But, thats not what I asked: Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 May 2015, 5:41 am
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
Hi Clone,
Tinder is more realistic than Okcupid with its well-sculpted profiles, Tinder just shows photos with short descriptions, like in real life when you first meet someone you only see his appearance and you might get very very little idea about him. and you either find him attractive or not on first go - you might find him unattractive later if he turns out to be an ass but that wasn't my point.
The okcupid's profiles are often well-sculpted over time, often by the help of friends too and internet forum members, the outcome at the end doesn't really project the person.
And even on sites like okcupid, looks is the most important factor (as well the gender) like proven in this experiment (reposting link):
http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction- ... xperiment/
Uh Huh, thats all fascinating if you are interested in online dating analysis
. But, thats not what I asked: Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
I added to my previous post:
And yes, I do care to be seen physically attractive by the potential partner, don't you?
11 May 2015, 5:50 am
trollcatman wrote:
You are not looking for a second bf?
I know all about Sweden, from Sigurd Ring to Erik the Heathen to the Kalmar Union to the Swedish Empire to the Bernadottes. The mounds at Upsalla! And of course all the furry Norwegian forest kitties. And the goo food.
I know all about Sweden, from Sigurd Ring to Erik the Heathen to the Kalmar Union to the Swedish Empire to the Bernadottes. The mounds at Upsalla! And of course all the furry Norwegian forest kitties. And the goo food.
haha I don't plan on making a harem
Can you still call it a harem if it's filled with men instead of women?trollcatman wrote:
That pervert thing is real, I remember being in a pub years ago with a bunch of friends and one of them was a girl (16 or so), and she was approached a couple of times by 50+ men who asked for her phone number. Creepy.
Urgh...baah...vies Sometimes I'm happy that I’m old so I don't have to deal with creeps and perverts...
I've had encounters perverts since I was 13, how sad is that? That girls are not left alone, that old men have to make comments or go after young girls...
11 May 2015, 5:53 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
Hi Clone,
Tinder is more realistic than Okcupid with its well-sculpted profiles, Tinder just shows photos with short descriptions, like in real life when you first meet someone you only see his appearance and you might get very very little idea about him. and you either find him attractive or not on first go - you might find him unattractive later if he turns out to be an ass but that wasn't my point.
The okcupid's profiles are often well-sculpted over time, often by the help of friends too and internet forum members, the outcome at the end doesn't really project the person.
And even on sites like okcupid, looks is the most important factor (as well the gender) like proven in this experiment (reposting link):
http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction- ... xperiment/
Uh Huh, thats all fascinating if you are interested in online dating analysis
. But, thats not what I asked: Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
I added to my previous post:
And yes, I do care to be seen physically attractive by the potential partner, don't you?
Sure physical attraction is important, but attraction based on appearances alone is a real turn off for me; It just seems shallow, to want to start dating someone based on their outward appearance and to seek dates based solely on looks.
I mean a photo is a concrete representation of physical attributes, the profile is just words, nothing concrete, any words that sound good will do.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 May 2015, 5:57 am
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
Hi Clone,
Tinder is more realistic than Okcupid with its well-sculpted profiles, Tinder just shows photos with short descriptions, like in real life when you first meet someone you only see his appearance and you might get very very little idea about him. and you either find him attractive or not on first go - you might find him unattractive later if he turns out to be an ass but that wasn't my point.
The okcupid's profiles are often well-sculpted over time, often by the help of friends too and internet forum members, the outcome at the end doesn't really project the person.
And even on sites like okcupid, looks is the most important factor (as well the gender) like proven in this experiment (reposting link):
http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction- ... xperiment/
Uh Huh, thats all fascinating if you are interested in online dating analysis
. But, thats not what I asked: Amity wrote:
This entire premise is based on photographs and on those who will choose someone based on their appearance, physical attributes etc., why would you even want to attract this type of person? Are you attracted to the outward appearance in the same way as they are?
I added to my previous post:
And yes, I do care to be seen physically attractive by the potential partner, don't you?
Sure physical attraction is important, but attraction based on appearances alone is a real turn off for me; It just seems shallow, to want to start dating someone based on their outward appearance alone.
I mean a photo is a concrete representation of physical attributes, the profile is just words, nothing concrete, any words that sound good will do.
Clone,
I made it clear, Tinder is like real life, you first like the appearance then through dating you find out if you like personality or not.
Quote:
the profile is just words, nothing concrete, any words that sound good will do
Just words that often are sculpted, through dates (or direct personal interaction) he won't have nor time nor support from third party to sculpt the negative things and turn them into positives, so direct personal interaction is way more accurate than a self-description text.
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