Do racial preferences make you a racist?

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13 Aug 2015, 3:33 am

Let's put it that way:

Not all those who have racial preferences are racists....but ALL racists have racial preferences/dealbreakers.

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13 Aug 2015, 8:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Let's put it that way:

Not all those who have racial preferences are racists....but ALL racists have racial preferences/dealbreakers.

This.

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13 Aug 2015, 9:27 am

It is what it is, I wouldn't call it necessarily racist but definitely superficial. I knew a lot of whites girls thru school who only dated Black guys and there was a pretty nasty reputation that came along with it, I don't care whatsoever who anybody dates and I think we would be better off today if the racial lines were blurred to the point they don't have any context but saying that, the bad reputation wasn't completely unearned and trash is trash whoever they decide to date. Keep in context where I came from btw, this wasn't Oxford. I was the minority where I grew up and there certainly is no privileged attached to it when you live in the same neighborhoods and go to the same schools.

Personally, I can't say I have any conscious racial preference, there are attractive people of every shade from every corner of the globe. I always found it weird to be honest when guys would talk about only liking Asian women or latinas or whatever, I always cringe too when I hear white guys say they're specifically not attracted to black women. I think preferences in general are pretty weird tho I guess, like someone that says they only like blondes or redheads or whatever doesn't make sense me either. It seems crazy to box yourself in like that when you could miss someone totally compatible with you and it would be a shame if it was because they didn't have the right skin color, I think having an open mind is always the best answer.

rdos
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13 Aug 2015, 9:40 am

Jacoby wrote:

I always cringe too when I hear white guys say they're specifically not attracted to black women. I think preferences in general are pretty weird tho I guess, like someone that says they only like blondes or redheads or whatever doesn't make sense me either. It seems crazy to box yourself in like that when you could miss someone totally compatible with you and it would be a shame if it was because they didn't have the right skin color, I think having an open mind is always the best answer.

I'd say it is a rational decision not to date black women if you are neurodiverse looking for somebody neurodiverse as the prevalence of neurodiversity is way lower in black people. So that is a rational decision, not a racial one. But if you have a good ND-radar I suppose you don't need such extra rules, and so can use it instead of the racial bias and come out as more politically correct.

kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2015, 10:45 am

Yet...there are black women on the Spectrum--so one who precludes dating black women just might be missing out!

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2015, 12:59 am

About racial preferences:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/race- ... 2009-2014/

According to the author, the TRENDS of certain racial preferences have racism roots, even if the individuals following these trends aren't racists.

And I do agree with him.

One of the comments:

Quote:

I mean, what can I say, speaking as an Ivy-educated Asian male, despite all our economic and educational success, it’s an embarrassment to our race and community. And it’s not any other race’s fault but our own, the Asians have willingly allowed themselves to be divided by the race-baiting western media, which denigrates all minorities (Hispanics are poor, illegal blue-collar workers, Blacks are violent hoodlums, Asians are effeminate nerds without social skills), while somehow also managing to pit all the minorities against each other in order to keep everyone under control. Although these racist views from the media are dictated by only a small number of influential old white men from “the good old days”, these biased views easily filter out into the general public, since people are forced into consuming the biased media. Frankly, I still find it astounding that since every year prior to 2014, Asian women actually rated white men higher than Asian men, and this year white men even rated Asian women higher than white women, while of course conversely white women rated Asian men negatively. Frankly, I am disgusted to be living in this country and will gladly move back to Asia at my earliest convenience. After all, you also want me to “go back to China”, don’t you? Well, good riddance, because I am dying to be rid of this mess of a country

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04 Sep 2016, 10:19 am

There's good and bad in all races, so even liking someone because of their race that's different from yours is wrong, I guess.

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04 Sep 2016, 11:31 am

If there's anything "racist" or even "sexist" about preferences that have developed and evolved over hundreds of years in the natural world, so be it. People like what they like.

I've liked people of all types but attracted to particularly those with darker hair and skin tone, perhaps even a very specific type of personality or attitude, and I don't think it's an accident that they tend to be in some way of Mexican descent. I'm not going to apologize and neither should anyone else when it comes to who you find attractive.

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The Grand Inquisitor
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04 Sep 2016, 3:02 pm

If racial preferences make you racist, sexual preferences must make you sexist.

Don't wanna date a man? You must be sexist.

CubsBullsBears
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05 Sep 2016, 12:01 am

I'm actually kind of in the same boat as you. I have a step-dad who's Indian. And the way he is towards me at times, I can't help but think that it would be much different if my mom had met an American. All I would say is that if a Caucasian asks you out, don't say something like "I'm not attracted to white guys". Just reject them like usual. As long as you don't truly judge anyone because of their race, calling you a racist would be going a little too far.

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05 Sep 2016, 12:22 am

no, because there is no such thing as racism against white pple. prejudice maybe or discrimination not racism, since mmm (everybody knows what i mean) they also are smarter in the head.
look at the difference between europe and other continents ?

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05 Sep 2016, 2:27 am

"Racism is prejudice plus power" *eyeroll*

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Sep 2016, 2:46 am

Honestly, It seems I am the only one here who thinks that racial preferences are usually based on subconscious racism.

Yes, if you reject someone just because they're of certain race, then yeah, this is racism, and it's often associated with classicism as well. Whites are associated with the West and wealth, other colors? are associated with poverty and 3rd world; and all races are blamed on this thinking, even many non-whites claim to like only whites.

I don't buy it that this a something "ohhh I can't control it....boo hoo. I am no racist". Sorry, I don't buy it.

I agree with this article's author:

Quote:

Unfortunately, most people feel like attraction is out of their control. Like it’s something they’re born with and nothing can be done about it. People say to me, “Ah . . . I actually only want to date white people. I know it’s awful, but I’m just not attracted to black people.”

Often, what I want to respond is:

1) There are other races besides white and black.

2) You’re not attracted to black people? ALL black people? You’ve met all of them, and not a SINGLE PERSON does it for you? Man, you must be exhausted after traversing the ENTIRE GLOBE searching for just ONE black person that you could get it up for! Do you need to lie down?

But this kind of racism is so deep-seated, so ingrained, that people genuinely believe their attractions are chemical. That these “preferences” are out of their hands.

Of course, that’s not the case. This isn’t biological, it’s societal. It’s institutional.

We are not the passive victims of our own internalized biases. We have governance over our actions. As author and psychologist James Giles writes, “That is not to say that romantic attraction is fully under our control, but only that it is not fully beyond our control.” So when are our love lives going to start reflecting that? Studies have shown that we are attracted to what we know and are used to, but as Deborah Ward writes, “Repeated exposure to certain people will increase our attraction toward them.” This means that a conscious change in behavior will impact subconscious desires.

Of course it is hard to parse out what turns you on due to pheromones and what turns you on due to cultural influence, but even allowing that both play a part is a huge step in the right direction.

http://www.theestablishment.co/2015/10/ ... tchmaking/

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05 Sep 2016, 2:52 am

Please keep that in mind when you reject a 3000 ton tub of lard boo.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Sep 2016, 3:05 am

I still don't buy it that one finds an entire race as a whole unsexy because of innate preferences.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Sep 2016, 3:08 am

Quote:

Here’s the thing: when asked during in-person meetings, 90% of my clients report having racial preferences. Which maybe doesn’t sound so bad, because I mean, they have other preferences, too. Height, religion, career paths, Netflix show most recently watched, the list goes on and on. But of the 90% of the reported racial preferences, 89.9% are preferences for white people. So . . . that is bad. And I’m not just talking about white-on-white preferences. I’m talking about all my clients, only 55% of whom identify as white. (This seems as good a time as any to mention that when I say “all my clients,” I do mean clients of all sexual orientations. Let’s not get heteronormative now; we’re only in the third paragraph.)

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