Is sex only for two people who love each other?

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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30 Aug 2010, 11:35 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:

Erisad wrote:

foreveryoung wrote:

I admittedly have no tact, especially online. I've told my friends online that I think they're girlfriends are unattractive and asked them what they were doing with them. I'm not perfect and I'm not a nice person.

I mean, I already know that I'm unattractive but I don't see why it was necessary to bring up. Even if I were gorgeous, I would still be afraid of sex. I probably would be even more afraid since more guys would demand sex from me. :/

Well some girls may like to have sex because it makes them feel sexy. If you aren't feeling sexy then you may not understand why they would have sex for other reasons than love.

I've never had sex to feel sexy. If I don't feel sexy, it isn't going to happen. Love still doesn't have to factor into that equation.

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Pistonhead
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30 Aug 2010, 11:42 pm

I feel sexier when I'm being pushed onto a bed :lol:

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foreveryoung
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30 Aug 2010, 11:44 pm

To answer the original question...I don't think love and sex have anything to do with each other. I was in love with my ex, and I felt no burning desire to sleep with her (other than for pride and to say "I slept with a hot girl")...if I want to sleep with someone, it's usually just based on primal sexual attraction...wanting to experience touching them and all that good stuff.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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30 Aug 2010, 11:50 pm

Pistonhead wrote:

I feel sexier when I'm being pushed onto a bed :lol:

...

There are about a hundred things I could say to this, but we aren't in the adult section.

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JohnisBlind
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31 Aug 2010, 12:30 am

foreveryoung wrote:

Well my friend. It seems like whenever people talk about sex they talk about sex in a very egocentric way. They think "sex for me is like this so sex everyone is like this."

Some people find sex to be a great way to express love. You don't but you can't say its that way for everyone.

Surya
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31 Aug 2010, 2:35 am

JohnisBlind wrote:

The Bay Area is where I went to college first. I thought that the values on sex that I learned were the same anywhere else in the US. Boy was I wrong.

It is horrible in some places, I spent almost a year in the US - that was enough.

@Erisad did you see the Sexuality world laws I posted?

You break a lot of them

Erisad
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31 Aug 2010, 7:12 am

Surya wrote:

@Erisad did you see the Sexuality world laws I posted? You break a lot of them

Eh? No. They have laws for this s**t? :/

Asp-Z
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31 Aug 2010, 7:24 am

It's a personal question, some people want to wait until they're married as if they're in the 19th century, and some just see it as fun. Each person has their own values, and IMO they should stick to those, not let themselves become influenced by other people's opinions.

JohnisBlind wrote:

buryuntime wrote:

I thought the whole when-two-people-really-love-eachother thing was reserved for a birds and bees talk. Otherwise it sounds a bit ridiculous.

Which is ridiculous when you think about it. The whole point of a sex talk is to be honest about sex,and not to leave their child feeling skeptical or lied to. With that bond of trust is broken then even if the parents have something important to say it will fall on deaf ears.

Exactly. I hate how parents BS their children.

I prefer Lee Nelson's explanation here:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-O1QwqQdao[/youtube]

:lol:

JohnisBlind
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31 Aug 2010, 7:29 am

Surya wrote:

JohnisBlind wrote:

The Bay Area is where I went to college first. I thought that the values on sex that I learned were the same anywhere else in the US. Boy was I wrong.

It is horrible in some places, I spent almost a year in the US - that was enough.

@Erisad did you see the Sexuality world laws I posted?

You break a lot of them

Well, yes the US is known for being especially backwards on the topic of sex. We may be advanced technologically and even in terms of our business practices but culturally the religious fears of a by gone era have left us strangely by paralyzed by the visceral spectacle of sex.

dynastus
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31 Aug 2010, 7:32 am

For me it is only for the one I love.
But I would never go into a relation if it is just for sex.For me it is secondary,but most people won't agree with me and I am ok with that.They can do whatever they want to do.

Gremmie
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31 Aug 2010, 7:45 am

Good timing for this topic... it's something I've been pondering myself recently. I think I might be a bit odd.

I can't stomach the idea of sex without at least some level of love. To do that with someone just because of their appearance horrifies me. On the other hand I do have close friends that (if I wasn't in a relationship) I would happily have casual sex with so long as everyone was aware it was casual. The idea of relationships with most of those people really doesn't interest me in the slightest.

foreveryoung wrote:

I think I'm the opposite of this. For me, sex is like a huge continuation of a hug. I think I might be the opposite of normal - I'd casually sleep with people because I have so much affection for them, but I have to be significantly sexually attracted to someone to even consider being in a relationship with them.

JohnisBlind
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31 Aug 2010, 7:54 am

dynastus wrote:

You will find plenty of people who can agree with you.

Erisad
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31 Aug 2010, 8:09 am

foreveryoung wrote:

JohnisBlind wrote:

Erisad wrote:

foreveryoung wrote:

Well some girls may like to have sex because it makes them feel sexy. If you aren't feeling sexy then you may not understand why they would have sex for other reasons than love.

How's that any better than what I said?

Because he said it in a more tactful way. If a girl is feeling sexy, it doesn't mean that she is by society's standards of what women should all look like. You pretty much said, "She's ugly, who'd f**k her anyway?" :/

JohnisBlind, I agree with TeaEarlGreyHot on this one. If I'm not feeling sexy, nothing is happening. Since I never feel sexy, therefore I never want to have sex. Based on what's been said here it's probable that I'll never get it anyway. :roll:

dynastus - Thank you! I wasn't expecting people to give up sex just because I don't do it but apparently, I must be converted to the promiscuous side. Can't a girl just be left pure anymore? D:

Pistonhead
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31 Aug 2010, 8:44 am

"Left pure"? You don't seem to understand that nobody stays "pure". There is a wise saying "no one dies a virgin, life screws us all". Some people here are realists who can tell you that some guy is going to "ruin" you, or you're going to "ruin" some guy and you can't understand that yet you think that every guy is into impregnating chicks and leaving them and you think after you deal with these guys you will always be momma's little girl? Sooner or later something is going to go wrong and you are going to change your entire perception.

You do not invite tolerance of your purity you outright attack the sexually "immoral" with this self righteous crap about how awful it is to have multiple partners.

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Moog
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31 Aug 2010, 8:51 am

It's for anyone who wants it.

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Erisad
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31 Aug 2010, 8:51 am

Pistonhead wrote:

And I'm making sure it happens at a time where I can support myself. I'm not ready now, so what? I don't want to be left homeless with a baby that I can't care for. That's a situation most people want to avoid, I'd imagine. :/

Even though it may have come off that way, I was not trying to attack anything. I was just saying why it doesn't work for me. I can't have multiple partners because I can only love one person at a time. Personally, I'm sick of being interrogated on WP about not wanting to have sex or multiple partners. How many times has this happened now? Seriously. I'm not going to change my mind anytime soon so leave me alone. D:

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