Reasons women do not date us!

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Yes very tidy

Been working out with weights like crazy recently yet can't pack on decent muscle on my upper body

A personal trainer could help you with that

have you been eating more protein

At least you are thinking about your alcohol intake Jamesy

Sorry I made a joke of it. It is a step in the right direction

Some of my PTSD is related to people using drugs too. My ex’s worst behavior happened when he was doing cocaine. I didn’t realize that he engaged in illegal activity or I wouldn’t have gotten with him. I’d find it extremely triggering to be in a similar situation again even if the person wasn’t abusive. I never willingly did anything illegal, and I never did hard drugs, but there were times when he forced me to do stuff I wasn’t comfortable with - that went against my personal convictions - to help him out that I probably could’ve gotten in trouble for.

I’m not saying that others would do the same. I would just be extremely uncomfortable to be with someone who used illegal drugs again - even recreationally. It would be very hard to trust them in any meaningful way, so it would be an automatic dealbreaker for me even if they had everything else going for them. The fact that someone would want to do something like this bad enough that they are willing to risk serious legal repercussions I find worrisome. I’d probably suspect that it could be indicative of a bigger problem than they are leading me to believe. I always felt that way to be honest. It seems to be a wildly held stance which brings us back to the title.

I don't do and never have done class A drugs.

But personally I wouldn't discriminate against a partner who has done them in the past, particularly if they had no plans to do them again in the future.

It would depend on how often they had done them in the past as well. If they had done them a handful of times, I wouldn't really care, but if they somehow were attached to the drugs, even psychologically (if not physically), that would most likely put me off them somewhat. And if they were a regular user I'd likely stay well away unless there were some other compelling reason to be with that person.

I wouldn’t necessarily be against being with someone who did them in the past, but it would be a dealbreaker if they were still doing them, had done them recently, or had a nonchalant attitude about their usage/seemed likely to do them in the future.

I'm dealing with the negative consequences of someone's cocaine use right now, in my daily life. It's causing a huge ripple effect which has hurt many people in my family. The difference in my situation is that the person isn't a relationship partner so I can't just break up with them and walk away. It would be much easier if that were the case.

I've never felt safe around people in general because of ASD and PTSD, but if their behaviour is unpredictable because of drugs I freeze in panic mode and fear. I have to be hyper-vigilant which is bad for my mental health.

As for having the car searched (UCD's comment), I've had that happen because the driver was stoned. It was "just pot" but he was smoking it while driving and as a result I was almost thrown in jail for having one prescription painkiller in my bag (I had a back injury). I've been afraid for my life with a drunk or high person driving, so now I refuse to be a passenger with those people. I don't like being a passenger, period. Then there's the question of how a person can afford it. I work my ass off to keep a roof over my head, and I'm not going to jeopardize that with someone stealing, incurring legal fees, or wasting their money on such expensive habits.

My son and his best friend were brutally stabbed by someone on hard drugs. I was SA as a child by an alcoholic who was drunk, who likely did hard drugs as well but I was too young to know. I lived with an alcoholic who was addicted to prescription narcotics, defrauding my health insurance policy without my knowledge. He stole from my children and even pawned their electronics. MR's childhood SA is gruesome. It was from men on LSD among other things. One of the men was his own father. My friend who dated a semi-famous rock star was threatened at knifepoint when he was high. He forged her signature on one of her cheques, and stole tens of thousands of dollars from a line of credit.

I've been to Al-Anon (the one for friends and family members). I've been to addiction doctors with addicts. I've watched someone on life support from alcohol-induced pancreatitis. I've seen a friend's 40 year old alcoholic wife die of liver failure. My adopted son is a crack baby. His mother was a good person and a friend, but I can't even enumerate the ways she's ruined her life with drugs, including killing someone on purpose with her car and running from the law.

Let's not forget Jamesy himself said his friend died on K.

I don't think we need to justify why we wouldn't knowingly date someone on hard drugs, especially if they thought so little of our trauma that they'd accuse us riding a high horse or passing "moral judgment" for setting boundaries.

Yeah defo

I wanna be the only druggy in my relationship

Made some friends at pub recently and they are constantly texting me day and night at the moment

And how do you feel about that

I might get my backside tanned for that post. It's maybe not the best thing to say in the circumstances

There doing my nut in with the texts

I think they want me to come to the pub more often

Ok so what's your plan gonna be then