Good looking but nobody sees it

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What I claim to rate myself and how I actually see myself are not the same thing.

you said the rating. were you being dishonest?

Nope, I don't consider a '7' to be all that special. It's better than 6.. sure.. but I obviously can't actually be a 7 if the only people who ever talk to me are 2's and 3's. This sets of a clusterbomb of aspie-thought sabotage which eventually has me hating myself and refusing to leave the house.

It works something like this.

Step 1: Talk to attractive girl, get no response, get depressed.
Step 2: have unattractive girl talk to me, respond negatively to her, get depressed.
Step 3: get depressed because only unattractive girls talk to me.
Step 4: come to the conclusion that I'm horribly ugly and thats why only horribly ugly girls talk to me.
Step 5: sleep it off, wake up the next day, look in the mirror and realize I'm actually pretty attractive.
Step 6: repeat.

but think you are a 7 is thinking you are above average. even if only intermittent, you have a high point that you believe is above most people. it's not really distinctly aspie to have a self-image that plummets and skyrockets; that is likely due to some other factors.

perhaps if you started to value other things more highly than looks (in yourself too - then your self-image wouldn't be so wobbly), or started looking to date in your age group, that may help you. women of your own age might view you differently.

Women of my age group fall into one of three categories. 1) Those looking to settle down, and start families, which I'm not interested in. 2) those who already have kids, which I am definitely not interested in. 3) Those who have already met or exceeded all of the benchmarks to adult hood that I have yet to meet and are thus not interested in me. Essentially, women my own age view me as a loser. Women older than me view me as a child. Women younger than me view me as a 'Cool older brother'.

I do value other things than looks. I value intelligence above all. But if I can't stand to look at you, it doesn't matter how intelligent you are, we will never work out together. It has to be BOTH or nothing. I would be no more interested in a hot yet dumb bimbo, than I am in a caring thoughtful intelligent yet unattractive girl. I'm not willing to compromise on anything, and I know already that is the root of all of my problems in life.

The thought crossed my mind that the "first time poster" might have been a veteran of sorts who didn't dare post it under his known alias.

keep lookin, really!
u may find that you find a girl who is vry different from what u think you want and become happy 2tgether

lol @ points... i made a list long time ago.. scored for a while.. was it useful.. nope
its not about all that imo.. u may miss out cos of staring at yer list

It does. Come on.

Their is a old Irish saying beauty is skin deep just sayin.

It is, but it's a competitive less than ideal world where everything can't be explained away by logic. Irrational dislikes and hierarchy exist, and not everyone's playing by the same rules.

Sad but true me mother always says to me Handsome is as handsome does.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf198731-0-45.html

ZX is also right, different people play by different rules. Some of them seem very stereotyped, others highly individual. Aspie visual preferences are probably more individual than most.

there is no objective hierarchy. just because it exists in your social circle doesn't make it universal or even common. there are some people who are that shallow, and if you only surround yourself with people like that then your entire world will consist of that degree of shallowness.

to me, it seems like intentionally closing the door on your own foot and holding it in place while simultaneously complaining about how much it hurts. the door isn't doing it to you, and all the rest of the doors in the world are not going to hurt people. some doors might be more likely to slam shut on your foot, but then for goodness' sake choose a different door.

What type of hierarchy do you refer to? I see them every day in every office I've ever worked in, and at multiple levels. The obvious work hierarchy of people in their positions, but more importantly, the far less obvious hierarchy of who's sucking-up to whom for "pull" and the ever-present social hierarchy of who's admired, cool, acceptable, shunned, etc. It's so prevalent these buzzards will go so far as to purposefully ostracize a person's dish at a potluck lunch if they want to make an unsaid statement.

Veerrrryy difficult to navigate those waters for those of us who don't pick up those unspoken signals. Blecch!

"broader standards?" Does that mean more and more broads?