Girls- How did your romantic relationships begin?

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Confusing title, so I will explain.

I recently saw a post that was debating the idea of why men are supposed to ask out women, instead of women asking out men. This got me thinking about how romantic relationship are created, and under what circumstances do these relationships begin, especially from the female perspective.

Therefore I am creating a poll to collect some data on how women met guys and become romantically attracted to them. I'm curious as to what circumstances create most romantic relationships. I need A LOT of poll inputs and feedback to make this poll as accurate and objective as possible. This poll is for both NT women and Aspie women.

So, what I'd like for you girls to do is, if you've ever been in a relationships, or multiple relationships, I'd like you to select the scenario that matches closest with the majority of your previous relationships, or at least the major relationships you've had. If you've never dated before, I would like you to choose the scenario that would best fit how you would be attracted to a guy. I have come up with 5 scenarios that I think covers almost every way a guy can meet a girl and a girl can be romantically attracted to a guy. Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it !



Scenario A.)

The first romantic relationship I am talking about is a romantic relationship started by physical attraction. A guy meets a girl, and the girl is physically attracted to the guy and see the potential for a relationship. The guy and girl spend some time together, and the girl lets the guy know she likes him, and the guy asks the girl out (on a date, or going out in the sense of dating), and a romantic relationship is started. I call this relationship by physical attraction.

Scenario B.)

A girl either meets a guy around her age who is a casual acquaintance, complete stranger, or superficial guy friend. The girl is not attracted in the least to the guy, usually because he isn't the most attractive male around that can be gotten, or because of slight personality quirks that the girl isn't crazy about. Girl eventually spends time hanging out with the guy, and really starts to like him because he has more personality, intelligence, charm, or whatever else than she thought he had. The guy asks out the girl and they start dating. I call this relationship by gradual acceptance.

Scenario C.)

A guy and a girl who never met both share similar interests. They belong in a club, a church youth group, or some other circumstance in which people who share similar interests hang out together. The guy and girl meet, and they talk about their shared interests, and become interested in each other. They end up spending more time together, and finally start dating. I call this relationship by common interests.


Scenario D.)

A guy and girl are at a social setting, let's say a dance club, a bar, or somewhere else that isn't really an area of personal interest, but a place where people can meet other single people of the opposite sex. Guy and girl hang out, and guy decides to invite girl to hang out at his place. Guy and girl hang out, find that they like each other, and start dating. Relationship by social setting.

Scenario E.)

A guy and girl are part of a dating site, match-making service, or has a friend set them up for a blind date. Guy talks to girl online, or on the blind date, and the girl likes the guy and considers meeting up more often. Guy and girl hang out, and guy eventually asks out girl, and girl says yes, starting a relationship. Relationship by alternative means/match-making.

How exciting, I get top be the first repsondent.

I am a middle aged NT woman who has been married almost 20 years and had a couple boyfriends before that.

I met my husband through scenario E. We were introduced by a mutual friend which counts as matchmaking. So sometimes when your friend says "I have a girl you should meet", well, maybe you should.

scenario A has never happened for me.

scenario B happened once in highschool. The boy in question had a horrendous case of acne which was really off-putting. Just looking at his acne made me wince. But he was truly hilarious and fun to be with. Eventually, the acne just didn't bother me anymore because...it just didn't. We dated for several months.

A college boyfriend came about through a combination of scenario C and D. The common interest being left wing politics and general college hippie-dom. The social setting being the various hippie hangouts of the campus- coffee houses, protest rallies.

For me, it's a mixture. The first thing that attracts me to a person is their personality. I'm attracted to people who share common interests with me. They don't have to share ALL of them, but at least a few. And I'm also attracted when the guy has interests that are different from mine but they're appealing to me... Does that make sense? Like, for example, if the guy is really interested in computers. I'm not a computer aficionado by any stretch, but they do interest me, so I'd be curious and interested if he starts talking about computer-y things.

I meet people online, so the match-making/other means option applies here. I feel like, in many ways, being online really helps you be yourself without any of the physical awkwardness, so originally meeting people online is the way I've met most of my friends as well as any guys I've liked...

Gradual acceptance is important in any relationship. It's hard to be with someone who doesn't eventually have at least one thing that you didn't expect/weren't used to/don't normally like about them. A major part of being with someone is accepting them for who they are, and loving them for who they are. That means getting used to all of their eccentricities.

Physical attractiveness is also...attractive... to me. Awkward sentence there. But it is true, good looking guys get attention. But, for me, that's not the only or the initial thing that gets noticed. I don't think a man is really and truly attractive unless his personality and demeanor are attractive. And I'm NOT just saying that. Just look at my list of favorite actors to see how the physical attractiveness varies.


...I hope that answers your question somehow. Sorry if it sounds like a psychology essay. Please bear in mind that I majorly lack dating experience, too!

Scenario B, but I asked him out.

None of the above.


I married the first person to beat me at Monopoly. That was the agreement when I was 17.