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Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her

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enamdar
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03 Sep 2009, 7:18 pm

Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

Just because in movies and TVs, when males and females bicker its really playful banter and they secretly love each other, doesn't mean that it works that way in real life.

Is it so hard to believe that a man and woman can fight a lot and hate each other, without there being any chemistry. No one would say that two men fight because they are secretly attracted. Just because of whats between our legs, our fights can't be real. And if she was an older woman, or unattractive, I don't think people would make the same assumptions.

I would say the one thing me and the girl have in common is that we both get pretty pissed of when others refer to us as a couple. Why do all male-female relations have to be seen through that lens?

Shes always very sarcastic and insulting around me, and I'm always trying to outmaneuver her. This is serious business not a game, and just because a girl is attractive, doesn't mean she shouldn't be ruthlessly pushed out of the road, if she won't get out of the way.

Is it so hard to believe that I fight with an attractive girl, for the same reasons I'd fight with a guy? This isn't middle school. I'm not a 10 year old boy who pulls a girl's hair to let her know I like her.



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03 Sep 2009, 7:39 pm

enamdar wrote:
Just because in movies and TVs, when males and females bicker its really playful banter and they secretly love each other, doesn't mean that it works that way in real life.


It actually can, though. The question I have is that if you hate this girl so much like you say you do, why are you around her so much that you fight with her constantly? Wouldn't it be easier to just avoid her?

How old are you?


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03 Sep 2009, 7:40 pm

Quote:
This isn't middle school.


No it is HS and that's why. ;)



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03 Sep 2009, 8:17 pm

because married couples fight all the time (apparently), so they think it's a funny comparison.



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03 Sep 2009, 9:21 pm

enamdar wrote:
Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

Just because in movies and TVs, when males and females bicker its really playful banter and they secretly love each other, doesn't mean that it works that way in real life.

My moms do fight & it can get serious, so I don't think its uncommon for couples to fight a lot.

Is it so hard to believe that a man and woman can fight a lot and hate each other, without there being any chemistry. Not for me it isn't, can't say for other people though. :?

No one would say that two men fight because they are secretly attracted. Just because of whats between our legs, our fights can't be real. And if she was an older woman, or unattractive, I don't think people would make the same assumptions. Proof people are superficial.

I would say the one thing me and the girl have in common is that we both get pretty pissed of when others refer to us as a couple. Why do all male-female relations have to be seen through that lens? I know I hate that. I had some male friends in HS and unless they were openly gay or fat, people automatically thought we were dating (even though I said I was asexual constantly :roll:). I think people in general are just nosy, have no purpose in life, & drive me nuts.

Is it so hard to believe that I fight with an attractive girl, for the same reasons I'd fight with a guy? This isn't middle school. I'm not a 10 year old boy who pulls a girl's hair to let her know I like her.
I don't get why you would hurt someone to show that you like them. :? NT's are so illogical :lol: & affected by the embarrassment factor I find. I have playfully punched friends to show affection (easier for me than hugging, etc. "normal contact" sets me off) though. In my case doing stuff like that is b/c I can't show affection in general or at all & I know NT's (and some aspies/auties besides me) like it for some reason.


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03 Sep 2009, 9:56 pm

I know what you mean. Whenever I fight with a boy, everyone starts saying we're in love. SO annoying!

In Year 8, there was a boy called Andrew who was always annoying me, and everyone kept saying I fancy him whenever I told him to piss off, etc. And then in English class we read Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing", and everyone starts being all, "Hey Gina, you and Andrew are like Beatrice and Benedick!" Not funny. :evil:


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03 Sep 2009, 10:01 pm

Peko wrote:
I don't get why you would hurt someone to show that you like them. :? NT's are so illogical :lol: & affected by the embarrassment factor I find. I have playfully punched friends to show affection (easier for me than hugging, etc. "normal contact" sets me off) though. In my case doing stuff like that is b/c I can't show affection in general or at all & I know NT's (and some aspies/auties besides me) like it for some reason.

No, it's not that the NTs would think that you necessarily have to show the opposite of how you feel. It's just that everybody seeing enamdar's situation firsthand is thinking that enamdar and the girl are simply in denial.


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03 Sep 2009, 10:47 pm

enamdar wrote:
Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

.

because people don't waste time with people they don't care about.


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devey
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04 Sep 2009, 6:01 am

I never understood it either.



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04 Sep 2009, 6:28 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
enamdar wrote:
Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

.

because people don't waste time with people they don't care about.



This can be true sometimes. Other reasons to argue, would be to "one up" the other person, entertainment/drama, or because it's challenging, ect. I find it stimulating to argue with people, myself (playfully, of course).



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04 Sep 2009, 7:49 pm

SilverStar wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
enamdar wrote:
Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

.

because people don't waste time with people they don't care about.



This can be true sometimes. Other reasons to argue, would be to "one up" the other person, entertainment/drama, or because it's challenging, ect. I find it stimulating to argue with people, myself (playfully, of course).


sometimes playful banter is infectious a'la Spencer and Tracy, and sometimes Riker and Guinan if you remember their duel of words and phrases.


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05 Sep 2009, 1:40 am

Because Love and Hate are the flip side of the same coin. ~­.~



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05 Sep 2009, 2:06 am

sinsboldly wrote:
sometimes playful banter is infectious a'la Spencer and Tracy, and sometimes Riker and Guinan if you remember their duel of words and phrases.


Or sometimes Riker and Guinan just hit on each other rather horribly as a demonstration because Wesley has a harder time understanding love than we do...



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05 Sep 2009, 4:28 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
sometimes playful banter is infectious a'la Spencer and Tracy, and sometimes Riker and Guinan if you remember their duel of words and phrases.


Or sometimes Riker and Guinan just hit on each other rather horribly as a demonstration because Wesley has a harder time understanding love than we do...



Having traded the type of banter with men attracted to me and me to them, but for some sort of contractual agreement we both planned to honor (me being married or otherwise not available, or him with the same obligations) were not able to act on said attraction we have found an outlet by bantering.

but, being honorable people, that was where it was left.


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06 Sep 2009, 12:53 am

enamdar wrote:
Why do people think that when I fight with a girl I like her?

Why do people assume that because me and a girl fight a lot and hate each other that we are "really" in love

Just because in movies and TVs, when males and females bicker its really playful banter and they secretly love each other, doesn't mean that it works that way in real life.

Is it so hard to believe that a man and woman can fight a lot and hate each other, without there being any chemistry. No one would say that two men fight because they are secretly attracted. Just because of whats between our legs, our fights can't be real. And if she was an older woman, or unattractive, I don't think people would make the same assumptions.

I would say the one thing me and the girl have in common is that we both get pretty pissed of when others refer to us as a couple. Why do all male-female relations have to be seen through that lens?

Shes always very sarcastic and insulting around me, and I'm always trying to outmaneuver her. This is serious business not a game, and just because a girl is attractive, doesn't mean she shouldn't be ruthlessly pushed out of the road, if she won't get out of the way.

Is it so hard to believe that I fight with an attractive girl, for the same reasons I'd fight with a guy? This isn't middle school. I'm not a 10 year old boy who pulls a girl's hair to let her know I like her.


I don't know. But why on earth are you even talking to this girl? If she's being a b*tch, ignore her.