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Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

15 Nov 2009, 7:05 am

Normal people depend on affection to propel a relationship forward. You don't need to make it overly physical by any means, but if you can find the right time to kiss her, that could really help push things forward.

Again though, timing is critical. Wrong timing means an awkward moment at best, while good timing can lead to some of the best things relationships have to offer. I can't really tell you anything but learn to probe her boundaries, within respectable limits of course.


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Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,624
Location: auckland

16 Nov 2009, 1:30 am

HopeGrows wrote:
But if her process is to fall in love as she dates you, then the prospect that she'll grow to love you actually improves the longer you date. Honest - it really does.

That sounds like "Storge" Love - the kind that develops as you get to know someone. It's a stable, longer lasting form of love.

What ToadOfSteel describes about his feelings, sounds more like a mix of Storge, and "Eros" - the Passionate, Romantic, Idealized, Exciting, highly emotive form of love, common when we fall in love.

Persevere, and especially keep communicating. Maintain your friendship (social relationship) as much as your romantic relationship. Sometimes the best lovers are also our best friends.

Janissy wrote:
I think what you have here is that most people date first and fall in love while dating whereas you fell in love first and are now dating the person you had already fallen in love with. It sounds like what she is attempting to do is catch up to where you already are. But what she's doing is the norm. It is absolutely the norm to not love somebody you have only been dating for a couple weeks but merely to be attracted and intrigued. Attraction and intrigue grows into love with time. Although the friend relationship is 3 years long, the dating relationship is only a few weeks long. I was dating my husband for months before I fell in love with him. Perhaps you are thinking "but she's known me for 3 years, isn't that long enough to know whether or not she loves me?". Except that 1)For most of those 3 years she was too young to even think of you that way and 2)there has been a paradigm shift- the "counter" starts counting from when the paradigm shift occured, not when she first met you.

This is Spot On!