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MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 10:13 pm

I've been thinking to myself. why do us Aspie guys like girls so much, when they dont even like us.
It's kind of like me trying to be friends with skinheads or something. Why do we waste our time trying to get their approval all the time.
We:
1. worry about dates
2.wonder and worry if she likes us or now
3. wonder if we'd ever have (one of these people who dont even like us anyways)
4. sit around and look at pictures of these people who don't like us at all

I guess, its obviously something we want from them, and it's sure as heck not friendship, because if that were the damn case, we'd start off trying to befriend men.
Why would we try to befriend men:
1. We are men
2. Aspies get along with men better
3.most aspies and aspie men dont even like the mannerisms of women

So here I am, questioning myself. why do I want a gf. well its obviously for sex. thats why I believe that i want a gf. there's no other reason. I dont like most of the ways of women because they frustrate me and i dont understand it.
It reminds me of how many people of nonblack and nonwhite races tend to not like black people for reasons unknown. But they also claim to not like white people, for reasons such as (racism, imperialism of their mother countries, and so on). I watched a movie called bend it like bekham, and the Indian girl from India was living in Ireland or England ...idk, but someone called her a racist name for an Indian and the were white. But she said "i cannot date any boys that arent indian, especially not black". What did she have against black people. The British were the ones who took over her mother country. That's the least she could have against the white people, although thats not a very good reason at all, but it's an understandable reason. But so many families tend to exclude the black race from marriage. But include the white race. I believe this is because people want to get pass in society. They may not like white people, but white people will give them that up in status.

This brings me back to the question, we seem so upset with women, but what do we want them for? They seem to not even like us

so tell me, tell yourself, tell us, tell ourselves. why do we want a girlfriend? what's it gonna change?



MissConstrue
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09 Feb 2010, 10:33 pm

I think you're self projecting if you want my opinion then again maybe not because my gender happens to be bum bum bum...female. I've met a good deal of aspie guys who I type to and connect with. I too have frustrations with the opposite sex when it comes to dating but I don't feel the need to take it out on a bunch of guys because of this problem. I also ask myself the same questions you've listed. While I agree to a certain extent that aspie women might have it easier getting a guy, easy can also be contrued for naivety as we might attract the wrong type of guys.

Your views of me (women) I take personally. You could sit here and say black folks aren't easy to get along with and get away with it but to me racism and sexism imo are in the same baggage. You obviously don't know enough about women to make such skewed statements. While there may be biological factors related to genders, history has always had the propensity to repeat itself when it comes to the way in which genders act and behave "appropriately". We know now this isn't true yet there are still those who tend to blame a certain group of people by a small sample. Thus the blaming of a whole group of people who are no way alike except of a character they share in common ie skin color, gender, ethnicity and so forth. Really your skewed views are no different than that of Hitler's. Yes I know that's extreme, but you really need stop blaming a group of people for your own frustrations. IMO, you are not ready for relationships if you think a relationship is all about you. It took me a while to learn that not every guy hates me or is sexist and yes, I had a bad experience with one abusive guy that left me bitter toward men for a while. I'm glad there's a place such as forums or else I would not have understood the other gender better given my lousy social skills in the real world.


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MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 10:41 pm

Oh i'm sorry, this question was directed toward Aspie men. Women already have a section, which I haven't posted in since that last post. So why not do the same with this. No where in here do I ask for the opinions of a woman. But you do have the right to post in this thread regardless. But because of that fact, it makes it look like you can't read or maybe you are a man idk. And you really need to stop adding extra stuff in your replies. About "women having it easier" and so forth. the post i made has nothing to do with that. From what I see, it seems you are illiterate, just as much as I am like Hitler. so be it, and take a reading class while you're at it



Willard
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09 Feb 2010, 10:43 pm

MJackson wrote:
so tell me, tell yourself, tell us, tell ourselves. why do we want a girlfriend?



MJackson wrote:
So here I am, questioning myself. why do I want a gf. well its obviously for sex. thats why I believe that i want a gf. there's no other reason.


:wink: Well...that answers that, doesn't it?



MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 10:45 pm

Willard wrote:
MJackson wrote:
so tell me, tell yourself, tell us, tell ourselves. why do we want a girlfriend?



MJackson wrote:
So here I am, questioning myself. why do I want a gf. well its obviously for sex. thats why I believe that i want a gf. there's no other reason.


:wink: Well...that answers that, doesn't it?


yea now your turn...tell me why you want a gf, if u want one. i told u why i do. but im assuming you have the same reason as I from your post



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09 Feb 2010, 10:49 pm

Your question has some very angsty overtones, and is probably overly generalized, but honestly it's a good one, and I hope people perceive it as such.

I need to break it down a bit to answer: for instance, what does it mean for a woman to "like" you? If she likes you as a person, that is helpful, but it is not that simple usually. I mean, do you see every single woman who you like "as a person" as a potential girlfriend and/or sex partner? Maybe you do, but I don't. It goes both ways.

When I meet a woman who's attractive, smart, and has a disarmingly sweet, down-to-earth manner of carrying herself, and seems to have some things in common with me, that is MAYBE a signal that I'd be interested "like that". So I must realize that it takes a great deal (whether involving similar factors or not) for true attraction to be caused similarly in others--I'd be delusional otherwise.

Also, you seem to imply that all people with AS are in fact men; I realize that you don't actually mean this, but this assumption does seem to skew your perspective further. I don't know if "most aspies" don't like the mannerisms of women. I can say that I agree, I personally don't like the mannerisms of most, but that still leaves many others who don't fit that stereotype, and I get along with many women just fine.

Do we really waste our time trying to "get their approval all the time"? Seems like we spend very little time doing so compared to most. I know I don't waste much time with that, aside from being nice and genuine in day-to-day interactions as necessary. But again, I can only speak for myself.

Another question, to go back to the beginning: WHY don't women "seem to like us", as you put it? And, once again, what specifically does "like" mean to you? Most people on here that are complaining about "not having a girlfriend" probably have very little experience with that sort of thing. You ask what's it gonna change? It changes a whole lot of things, but not in the same way that most seem to think it will. It's a give-and-take kinda thing.

I will say it again: It is something that goes both ways and if you aren't ready to accept that it's not all about you, then you are probably not ready to simply get yourself some sex, much less an actual girlfriend.

Maybe this all sounds harsh, but again, I do believe you raise a good question, and I just mean to do my best to toss out some perspective on the matter.


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09 Feb 2010, 10:56 pm

Because we still want to be "normal" but we really aren't in fact we are better than them. we are actually a step up in evolution IMO.



MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 11:07 pm

hmmm okay...so im getting some different views here. Xenu thinks its because we want to be normal and amazon's answer is too scramble up to me, there's no clarity at all.

Anyways I just wanna throw something out there. I have a friend who's a male, and I like his personality. But too bad he's a male, if he were a female, I would want to date him/her. Because he understands me



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09 Feb 2010, 11:11 pm

MJackson wrote:
hmmm okay...so im getting some different views here. Xenu thinks its because we want to be normal and amazon's answer is too scramble up to me, there's no clarity at all.

Anyways I just wanna throw something out there. I have a friend who's a male, and I like his personality. But too bad he's a male, if he were a female, I would want to date him/her. Because he understands me


if you are attracted to him there is no reason not to? unless he isnt attracted to you. I mean i am bi so i see no problem with it but i guess if you have some kind of religious backround you wouldnt. and also if he wasnt interested that way.



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09 Feb 2010, 11:11 pm

MJackson wrote:
Oh i'm sorry, this question was directed toward Aspie men. Women already have a section, which I haven't posted in since that last post. So why not do the same with this. No where in here do I ask for the opinions of a woman. But you do have the right to post in this thread regardless. But because of that fact, it makes it look like you can't read or maybe you are a man idk. And you really need to stop adding extra stuff in your replies. About "women having it easier" and so forth. the post i made has nothing to do with that. From what I see, it seems you are illiterate, just as much as I am like Hitler. so be it, and take a reading class while you're at it


Solieyu??? 8O

Nah, I think you're trolling as him.


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MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 11:16 pm

Xenu wrote:
MJackson wrote:
hmmm okay...so im getting some different views here. Xenu thinks its because we want to be normal and amazon's answer is too scramble up to me, there's no clarity at all.

Anyways I just wanna throw something out there. I have a friend who's a male, and I like his personality. But too bad he's a male, if he were a female, I would want to date him/her. Because he understands me


if you are attracted to him there is no reason not to? unless he isnt attracted to you. I mean i am bi so i see no problem with it but i guess if you have some kind of religious backround you wouldnt. and also if he wasnt interested that way.


Im not gay or bi, so I dont find him attractive at all. but I like his personality. we talk everyday about stuff, and he gives me rides home too. I would pay him gas money, but im broke. But if I ever become successful or famous, im gonna send him 1000 in gas money. Im the type of person who likes to be held, so sometimes i imagine myself held in his arms, or this one italian girls arms who understood me. 2 bad she was 2 years older and had a bf, which she still has. oh yea and my friend is straight like I.

is it weird that I imagina myself held in someone's arms regardless of gender just because I feel understood by them?



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09 Feb 2010, 11:18 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
MJackson wrote:
Oh i'm sorry, this question was directed toward Aspie men. Women already have a section, which I haven't posted in since that last post. So why not do the same with this. No where in here do I ask for the opinions of a woman. But you do have the right to post in this thread regardless. But because of that fact, it makes it look like you can't read or maybe you are a man idk. And you really need to stop adding extra stuff in your replies. About "women having it easier" and so forth. the post i made has nothing to do with that. From what I see, it seems you are illiterate, just as much as I am like Hitler. so be it, and take a reading class while you're at it


Solieyu??? 8O

Nah, I think you're trolling as him.


What's wrong with you? I'm like...over this right now, you see idc right? just join in the conversation and quit being a douche bag.



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09 Feb 2010, 11:18 pm

MJackson wrote:
Xenu wrote:
MJackson wrote:
hmmm okay...so im getting some different views here. Xenu thinks its because we want to be normal and amazon's answer is too scramble up to me, there's no clarity at all.

Anyways I just wanna throw something out there. I have a friend who's a male, and I like his personality. But too bad he's a male, if he were a female, I would want to date him/her. Because he understands me


if you are attracted to him there is no reason not to? unless he isnt attracted to you. I mean i am bi so i see no problem with it but i guess if you have some kind of religious backround you wouldnt. and also if he wasnt interested that way.


Im not gay or bi, so I dont find him attractive at all. but I like his personality. we talk everyday about stuff, and he gives me rides home too. I would pay him gas money, but im broke. But if I ever become successful or famous, im gonna send him 1000 in gas money. Im the type of person who likes to be held, so sometimes i imagine myself held in his arms, or this one italian girls arms who understood me. 2 bad she was 2 years older and had a bf, which she still has. oh yea and my friend is straight like I.

is it weird that I imagina myself held in someone's arms regardless of gender just because I feel understood by them?


ah ok i guess i misread it...



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09 Feb 2010, 11:26 pm

MJackson wrote:
MissConstrue wrote:
MJackson wrote:
Oh i'm sorry, this question was directed toward Aspie men. Women already have a section, which I haven't posted in since that last post. So why not do the same with this. No where in here do I ask for the opinions of a woman. But you do have the right to post in this thread regardless. But because of that fact, it makes it look like you can't read or maybe you are a man idk. And you really need to stop adding extra stuff in your replies. About "women having it easier" and so forth. the post i made has nothing to do with that. From what I see, it seems you are illiterate, just as much as I am like Hitler. so be it, and take a reading class while you're at it


Solieyu??? 8O

Nah, I think you're trolling as him.


What's wrong with you? I'm like...over this right now, you see idc right? just join in the conversation and quit being a douche bag.


On the other hand, I might be right afterall.... :lol:


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09 Feb 2010, 11:28 pm

MJackson, you sound upset. Is there a particular situation that caused this?

IMO, the real reason we put up with each other is because we're descended from people crazy enough to put up with each other long enough to have us. Therefore we have (mostly) the same genetic and cultural programming as our ancestors.

Women are just as clueless as men, and ask themselves pretty much the same questions. They don't know why they like us, don't know what they want us for, and they think we don't like them. Dating is hard for everyone, and it's easy to blame the other gender (if you're not gay). Seriously, spend some time reading women's threads in dating forums, and you'll see it too. Funnier still, read gay and lesbian threads - they're even upset at their OWN gender!

MJackson wrote:
But so many families tend to exclude the black race from marriage. But include the white race. I believe this is because people want to get pass in society. They may not like white people, but white people will give them that up in status.


Most people do prefer dating within their own race for the most part, men and women alike. What interracial dating does occur seems to favor black men and asian women, with whites in the middle, leaving asian men and black women frustrated with their relative lack of partners.

Vitamin D deficiency during brain formation (unborn children and early years) is known to be one cause of mental retardation, up to 10 IQ points difference. People with darker skin produce less vitamin D naturally, proportional to how dark their skin is. Could easily be fixed with vitamin D supplementation, if people weren't so afraid to talk about it, but I'd guess this is where the racial stereotypes come from.

Many negatives are strongly linked to low IQ including violence, criminality, income levels, culture, etc. When IQ is matched across all races, most racial differences disappear. Incidentally, whites don't have the highest IQ overall or in any category.

Now can we call off the illiterate nazis please?


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MJackson
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09 Feb 2010, 11:38 pm

ghostpawn wrote:
MJackson, you sound upset. Is there a particular situation that caused this?

IMO, the real reason we put up with each other is because we're descended from people crazy enough to put up with each other long enough to have us. Therefore we have (mostly) the same genetic and cultural programming as our ancestors.

Women are just as clueless as men, and ask themselves pretty much the same questions. They don't know why they like us, don't know what they want us for, and they think we don't like them. Dating is hard for everyone, and it's easy to blame the other gender (if you're not gay). Seriously, spend some time reading women's threads in dating forums, and you'll see it too. Funnier still, read gay and lesbian threads - they're even upset at their OWN gender!

MJackson wrote:
But so many families tend to exclude the black race from marriage. But include the white race. I believe this is because people want to get pass in society. They may not like white people, but white people will give them that up in status.


Most people do prefer dating within their own race for the most part, men and women alike. What interracial dating does occur seems to favor black men and asian women, with whites in the middle, leaving asian men and black women frustrated with their relative lack of partners.

Vitamin D deficiency during brain formation (unborn children and early years) is known to be one cause of mental retardation, up to 10 IQ points difference. People with darker skin produce less vitamin D naturally, proportional to how dark their skin is. Could easily be fixed with vitamin D supplementation, if people weren't so afraid to talk about it, but I'd guess this is where the racial stereotypes come from.

Many negatives are strongly linked to low IQ including violence, criminality, income levels, culture, etc. When IQ is matched across all races, most racial differences disappear. Incidentally, whites don't have the highest IQ overall or in any category.

Now can we call off the illiterate nazis please?


Well what makes me upset, since u asked if Im upset, is the fact that I feel like no one really understands me IRL except my friend John. I want to hug, and be held by a person in their arms who understands me, along with having sex with them. since im attracted to women sexually, I would rather have a woman do this than John. John has been telling how how he has been getting sex in the past 3 weeks all of a sudden and it makes me feel bad, because he's an NT, and odds are is the girl he's doing is an NT, and they probably both can understand each other easily.
But here I am, no girl understands me, not even my mom really. My counselor does, but I cant go there with her.
So therefore I'm stuck