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Mouldy
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04 Dec 2009, 11:43 am

Hi all I will be quite breif ( or as breif as i can ) my problem is ...... Myself! But when im around my Girlfreind i wanna be freindly with her and everything nothing exstreme just like huggingorsomething and im quite sad actually because i will like touch her and she will say dont do that and then my freind pokes her and she laughs and im like "how did he do that" but im sitting next to her thinking.... dont date me im useless please abandon me and let me be alone becuse you know i struggle with this stuff and i try there is too much to understand about teenagers and releationships one day i love her and the next i still do but i cant touch her because well i dont know i just dosent feel right and i get this voice in my head saying no stop she wont like that but i sont know how to like be more freindly with her constantly not just for a day :(



HopeGrows
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04 Dec 2009, 11:48 am

Talk to your gf. Ask her what's okay with her in terms of touching. Ask her to spell it out for you, and to be explicit. Tell her you're struggling, and assure her that you want her to be comfortable with the way you express your affection for her physically. Tell her you need her guidance, and then listen to her when she provides it. Tell her you don't understand subtlety, and that you'll need feedback pretty constantly until you get it right.



Mouldy
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04 Dec 2009, 11:53 am

I guess so i mean she knows i have AS i talked about it with her before and she knows if i find it hard although she always (and i mean always) leaves it to me to like kiss her or anything which is why i dont very often cuz i dont know how she will react she usually likes it infact always but i still find it hard even tho ive done it before which is why im struggleing to be with her and i cant even tell that she likes me cuz when she sees me she smiles and she sez she luvs me on msn but apart from that i dont know.



HopeGrows
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04 Dec 2009, 12:34 pm

Kiddo, if she IMs that she loves you and she's dating you, she likes you. You're both young (I'm assuming she's your age), so you're both learning what relationships are all about. If she's not a particularly aggressive young lady, I'm not surprised she leaves it to you to initiate kissing.

Knowing that you have AS (very smart to tell her) is different than understanding how AS affects you as a bf. You need to take the lead and tell her (very specifically) the level of communication you need from her. And trust me, if you learn how to communicate within a relationship now, you'll be learning a lesson that will benefit you for the rest of your life. Talk to the girl.



Mouldy
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04 Dec 2009, 1:03 pm

Thanks for the advice it will help yes i know i need to talk to her and state what she needs to do so i know that she still likes me :) thank you for the advice again.



HopeGrows
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04 Dec 2009, 1:08 pm

Good luck, sweetie. :wink: