People with ex's are lucky
I see a lot of people posting about their ex's... I'm 25 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I've managed by nothing short of a miracle to have had sex several times throughout my life (mostly through the aid of alcohol during college), but never been able to make anything significant of it afterward. I'd give anything to have an ex to brag about.
I think the OP isn't getting as much about wishing he had an ex, but rather that he had the experience of the relationship. I can say, even now after it being over for some time, that every moment of my previous relationship was definitely worth it. For the first time since I was 14, I had an energy and motivation that was awe-inspiring. Because, for one short month, my life mattered. And apparently, it showed, because I somehow pulled a 3.4 GPA this semester, which is one of my highest semester GPAs in my college career (the only time I got higher was when all my courses were incredibly easy, as opposed to this time where I had a massive project in each one)
Yeah that's pretty much exactly it...
However, I think even having a failed relationship... regardless of how it turned out... would give me the confidence to pursue something better and more meaningful. I know it sounds pathetic, but I'd give anything for at least a failed relationship so that I can learn from it if anything.
elderwanda
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Age: 56
Gender: Female
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Yeah that's pretty much exactly it...
However, I think even having a failed relationship... regardless of how it turned out... would give me the confidence to pursue something better and more meaningful. I know it sounds pathetic, but I'd give anything for at least a failed relationship so that I can learn from it if anything.
Ah, but the thing you have to understand is that a relationship with Person A isn't necessarily going to prepare you for a relationship with Person B. Each partner is a unique individual, with different needs, tastes, and desires. That goes for emotional, friendship stuff, as well as sexual stuff. Your ex might have loved it when you [touch her a certain way, do a certain special thing for her, etc], but your next girlfriend might not like that at all, and you'll have to discover what works for you both as a couple. Each relationship has it's own rules.
Yeah that's pretty much exactly it...
However, I think even having a failed relationship... regardless of how it turned out... would give me the confidence to pursue something better and more meaningful. I know it sounds pathetic, but I'd give anything for at least a failed relationship so that I can learn from it if anything.
Ah, but the thing you have to understand is that a relationship with Person A isn't necessarily going to prepare you for a relationship with Person B. Each partner is a unique individual, with different needs, tastes, and desires. That goes for emotional, friendship stuff, as well as sexual stuff. Your ex might have loved it when you [touch her a certain way, do a certain special thing for her, etc], but your next girlfriend might not like that at all, and you'll have to discover what works for you both as a couple. Each relationship has it's own rules.
No offense, but... I don't care... Girl A vs. Girl B? Give me GIRL X!
I cannot talk to girls... I can barely talk to other people outside of immediate family. I've lost all of my friends that I had in childhood and I cannot hold a job even though I have an elite university education.
It hurts even more so because girls tend to flock to me... in the supermarket, while checking my mail, while at Taco Bell... they expect me to respond appropriately, yet I can't even look at them in the eye. It's more humiliating than if they had never even noticed me at all. Sometimes I wish I were ugly.
Haha. That's so funny. We're two for two now, harlequinsenor, in wanting the opposite. If I wasn't unattractive, maybe I could have held on to my ex a bit longer.
Are you active on dating websites? Maybe you can try that avenue?
And you know, Spokane_Girl, the thing that worries me is that my ex did unforgivable things to me that make me so angry when I remember them. So why do I still think about him with fondness? I've a screw loose in my brain somewhere.
The downside is that you have no point of comparison to know what you yourself want.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
The downside is that you have no point of comparison to know what you yourself want.
Addressing your use of the definite article, there are a few other downsides I can think of as well. Another one is that your partner may doubt your own worthiness, depending on how old you are and their attitude. Also that you kind of have to remain silent whenever your friends discuss past relationships, which is a bit uncomfortable. You also may have no idea what it takes to find someone, anyone. But hey, at least it's not all bad.
Was providing counterpoint; there are other upsides. Lack of baggage; lack of preconceptions based on experience (this does not preclude those from fantasy or upbringing); self-control. It's all a matter of perspective, and what you're looking for. Personally, I think experience works to advantage, both in better knowing what one as an individual wants themselves and in knowing that your partner chose you over other experiences instead of wondering what other possibilities might be out there that they chose to miss out on.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
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