People with ex's are lucky

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That's not entirely true. First of all, if you end up with one particular type of girl it is not unlikely that you end up with another girl with many similar character traits. In fact, my three most significant relationships were all three with women who had similar outlooks on life and similiar attitudes towards other people. In such a case, it does help to apply what you learnt from a previous relationship.

Second, any romantic relationship with a woman requires significant understanding of empathic behavior to make her not lose interest in you over type. Every relationship can serve as practice for the next when it comes to picking up social ques and learning about the way empathy influences behavior.

OP, have you thought of working with a therapist or coach to address your social skills/anxiety? Because it seems to me that you've got half the "battle" won - you're easily able to attract attention from the opposite sex. While I don't mean to underestimate how difficult it might be to develop the social skills required to convert a young lady's interest to an actual date or relationship, there are safe environments in which you can do just that. In my past experience, the best way to get past the fear and anxiety of a new situation is repeated exposure to the situation, a.k.a., "just do it." In your circumstances, I really recommend the training and practice to help ease you into making conversation with the opposite sex. Good luck.

Yeah, I know I'm not Spokane_Girl, but I am from the same state, so close enough, right?

You still think about him with fondness because even despite whatever he did, there was something somewhere that made you fall in love with him once.

My ex-wife spent lavishly even when our income was tiny, dealt with creditors by ignoring them and hiding the demand letters from me (the repossession of the car finally fell off my credit record last year), and spent the better part of ten years screwing me over and cheating repeatedly, up until she finally left me for the guy she'd been dating for six months.

Yet despite this, there were some good times in there - the D&D games, for instance; the fun we had running our BBS; the way she actually tried to support me for a few months after I left the Air Force... She was a real beeotch, and a whore in the literal sense (I learned later that she had been making ends meet when we met by hooking, and didn't give it up for almost a year after we were married), but she wasn't a completely horrible person - after all, nobody's perfect, not even perfect in error.

Nuh-huh. Breakups are painful. Very painful. Much worse than being alone.

I feel sad every time I drive by a Starbucks where I met M. And every time I run on the waterfront where I met someone else. And every time I hike on trails where I brought someone with me in the past... Etc. Do you really want this???


That's pretty much it.

My situation may not be the same as yours. I have the feeling some people tend to get attached far too easily (or at least far easier than others)... then again I can't know for sure since the concept is alien to me, but I've seen people dating for a less than a month and then have a total meltdown when it ends. I mean... I could understand if you were in love with the person, but do you fall in love with every person you get involved with?

That depends on persons experience, and by experience I mean their age. A teen romance lasting two months is like forever dude, ya know what I mean? Consequently, a breakup would hurt more as well.

Breakups of short term relationships tend to hurt less or not at all as we get older. I can't speak for everyone, but for me they aren't a big deal because I understand it didn't work out and because it didn't work out I'm better off without her than with her. Sticking with a bad relationship is the beginning of a divorce.

By "with exes", are you saying that we are lucky because we have been in relationships?

After all, there is likely a reason why they are exes.

It also depends on the intensity of your relationship. When a relationship of 5 years has bled dry and you both sense there is no longer a future together, it may be easier to break up than if you're only half a year together but the sex is better than you've had in years and you share many things with a woman you've never shared before.....

Amen, brother!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Yes, that's pretty much what I'm saying...




I just want an emotional experience like you all have had... regardless of whether it succeeds or fails.

Thx.

Well, I actually just came out of a very intense 5 month relationship that started about three months after a bled dry 6 year relationship with another woman, so I speak from recent experience. That just may make it easier to express myself in this area

I was very lucky to get the girlfriends I did, I'll tell ya, coz the odds are very against me!

I do agree that it's good to have that experience because, for me at least, the pain and stuff wears off after a while anyway and you just... Ya know... Get over it.