guys approaching girls = inefficient

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hellznrg
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06 Mar 2006, 3:56 am

Does anyone else wonder at this particular stupidity of NT society?

guy asks girl out... percentage of times he gets shot down = around 95%

girl asks guy out... percentage of times she gets shot down = maybe 5%

the norm is for the guy to ask the girl out... is this efficient? more like stupid.


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Endersdragon
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06 Mar 2006, 4:15 am

But that could just be because guys ask girls out most of the time if it switches it might still be ineffiecent.


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hellznrg
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06 Mar 2006, 4:35 am

If you're a guy, ask yourself this: of all the women who approached you how many of them did you shoot down?


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jman
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06 Mar 2006, 8:19 am

hellznrg wrote:
If you're a guy, ask yourself this: of all the women who approached you how many of them did you shoot down?


Whats with the generalizations, I've had to shoot down girls before.



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06 Mar 2006, 8:37 am

Think of it this way:

The same 5% that don't reject you, are the same tiny margin that would ask you out anyway. The only difference would be they were doing the legwork instead of us. The initial asking amounts to a preemptive yes, because the same women that say no if you ask them out are not going to magically come ask you out if the roles reverse :p

Net change in action for you = 0, you just get disappointed less.



Aspie1
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06 Mar 2006, 12:23 pm

Wow... Nicely put. Good job, Javid.



hellznrg
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06 Mar 2006, 2:41 pm

well it's not just the legwork.. what about the rejection.. it's pretty painful


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baby
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06 Mar 2006, 3:04 pm

i think its probably because it is the norm for guys to approach the girls, certainly when i've been going out its the guys who hit on us, ok usually the ones you would rather die than date, but still its the guys.

I would have to say that i've been approach about 10 times more than i've actually hit on.

thats how its been in my experience

baby



hellznrg
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06 Mar 2006, 3:18 pm

fun fact: in UAE (where i live), the gender ratio is like 2:1 (men:women) :P .. because of this, most of the guys here are desperate and can be pigs....!


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newchum
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06 Mar 2006, 4:56 pm

If you know that the girl you are approaching is interested in you and you can flirt reasonably well. It is quite efficient.



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07 Mar 2006, 1:25 am

I wouldn't call it ineffecient. I would call it more convenient for me if they approached me. Make things easier for meeeee! /sarcasm


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hellznrg
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07 Mar 2006, 2:15 am

Nomaken wrote:
I wouldn't call it ineffecient. I would call it more convenient for me if they approached me. Make things easier for meeeee! /sarcasm


well they're the ones who ultimately choose.. the current situation is like people who want to sell something spam you with unwanted advertisements and email and telemarketing for their products ... no one likes spam.. better way is to just put your product out there, and if the buyer decides he/she wants it, then he/she will buy it...

it's the same thing here... see... the fact is that 95% of the time, guys get shot down, but a woman would rarely be shot down... you can argue with me, but you can't argue with mathematics!


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Nomaken
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07 Mar 2006, 4:41 am

In our culture it would be easier if women just strait out approached men than men having to approach women who signal them, but either wat send me signals. I am clueless. Send me PM's I wont assume that someones message means anything unless you do!


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hellznrg
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07 Mar 2006, 5:23 am

Nomaken wrote:
In our culture it would be easier if women just strait out approached men than men having to approach women who signal them, but either wat send me signals. I am clueless. Send me PM's I wont assume that someones message means anything unless you do!


ok i must admit i'm a little confused by what u just said..! :P could u rephrase that... my AS brain isn't able to properly parse that.. :)

hey, since your a quite rare female aspergian, please tell me, how do you get along in NT society? do you also have problems with body language? how do NT men react to a woman with AS? do they get put off due to the lack of body language the same way NT women get turned off by lack of body language?


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23 Mar 2006, 6:59 am

If a girl's going to actually ask a guy out I'll bet she's thought it through a lot more than when a guy does it and is pretty certain the answer will be yes.
Guys just seem to hit on anyone that smiles at them.


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