People only think about getting a date?

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Tias
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04 Feb 2010, 6:06 pm

Not to insult anyone or anybody, or sound mean for that matter.
But i've noticed that alot of people, or atleast a bunch, after they actualy DO
get a date with a guy or a girl, man or a woman, they have NO clue or idea on what to do at all : /

heck, i was bit like that to.
I mean i did have ideas, but didn't know if any of them were great at all.
But there seems to be the tendancy that most of us dont really expect to get a date or a gf/bf at all,
so when we eventualy do, it's like someone throwing cold water on us just while we were sleeping, and we go
"omg wtf what happend? D:"

Are most Aspies so pessimistic about their love life that they dont expect to find anyone
and when they do, dont know what to do?
Or is this also something normal that happens to most NT's?

This Quote from The joker in "The Dark Knight" reminds me of this situation alot:
"Do I look like a man with a plan? I'm like a dog chasing a car, if I cought it, I wouldn't know what to do with it"
Seems like thats the case for most people here regarding the love life, we are lost! helps D: ( i said most, or a bunch, i'm not saying every single one, so please dont come with any flaming on that matter )

So would like to hear you guy's opinions on this~
What do you guys think?



Grisha
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04 Feb 2010, 6:14 pm

You could easily be talking about me - in spades.

Yes, I was shocked/panicked when I actually managed to get a date and now I'm scrambling to get my act together quickly.

Whether this is an Aspie thing or not I don't know.

But I think it's much better to get a date and not know what to do, than to sit around and complain about not having a date - so I feel like this is very good progress for me...

Just my $0.02



Zara
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04 Feb 2010, 6:53 pm

It's because aspies for the most part are delayed quite a bit in learning dating and such. They either never ask out people/don't get asked out or get rejected a lot. It leaves little chance to learn anything beyond the first date, if that even happens.


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DemonAbyss10
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04 Feb 2010, 7:26 pm

yeah, that whole thing doesnt just apply to the dating scene either, it applies to interacting with "normals" in general. The whole breeding of other human beings? I dont think I ever want a child, because said child would most likely have AS (due to from what I heard bout heredity and stuff), and I dont want to have to subject said child to a sh***y life because humans are bastards.

but yeah, back on topic. It all depends on the individual, and for most it does take a bit getting used to.


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Hector
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04 Feb 2010, 7:36 pm

I don't think I should expect or otherwise feel entitled to date anyone, but I don't think I get the cold shock you describe from getting a number or arranging a date. I've done this before, but never got any further than meeting once before said girl lost all interest. The up-side of that I suppose is that I'm not as nervous about it or shocked by it, because I don't expect to get any further than one date either.

I'm not sure I have no idea what to do in the sense that I would at least know where to go and what our plan A and even plan B would be. I've learned the hard way to plan things well. I have pretty much no idea how to progress from there, though, like kissing or holding hands or anything further than just having a platonic good time, because I am afraid of any attempt at the sort being seen as an unwelcome intrusion of my hypothetical date's personal space and ruining the entire meeting. I have no past experience or intuition to guide me here.