My fear with girls is that I am boring, with few friends

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tangerine12
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20 Apr 2010, 10:30 pm

My greatest fear with girls is that they would discover the truth about me, that I am boring, I am easily overstimulated,
and I have few friends and not a very active social life. After a busy day I prefer to be alone as I am overstimulated.
Also I prefer to stay quiet rather than socialize or converse. I do like playing video games, and watching
WHo's the deadliest warrior on spiketv

I'm afraid that would-be gf's will tell me I'm boring. and others.



sacrip
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20 Apr 2010, 11:01 pm

It sounds like what you're saying is that you're afraid you'll never be what a girl wants a guy to be, and end up alone. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Because the same world that created a person like you created, in all likelihood, a girl who would like to be with you, quirks and all The girl who thinks you're boring and unwilling to look deeper is not that girl. I guess my advice would be to not feel you have to compromise yourself to get a girl, but to remember that girls are, in fact, fully realized people who will be happy to try things your way as long as you try their way once in a while, too.


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astaut
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20 Apr 2010, 11:24 pm

I think you just have to look around and find a girl that fits your lifestyle. Honestly, I've sort of avoided thinking about relationships lately for the reasons similar to what you said. I just got diagnosed with a chronic illness and I don't have the energy to do a lot, and I don't have a lot of friends cause of that. So getting into a relationship is scary because most guys my age like to do stuff like go to clubs and go out and socialize. What you described isn't boring, I would simply call you low-key. (Some people may find it boring, but that's just their opinion.) There will be people out there who have personalities similar to yours who enjoy hanging out and watching TV at the house. I've only been in handful of relationships, but there was a guy who wanted to go out somewhere literally every night, and another who wanted to stay in and teach me how to play dungeons and dragons :P It's all about the individuals in the relationship.



tangerine12
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21 Apr 2010, 12:48 am

I for the most part don't go to bars or clubs b/c

1- i don't dance,
2- noise light gives me headache
3- i don't drink
4- i can't hear conversation

other than video games and reading, i don't do a lot of other stuff b/c of my clumsiness.



Lene
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21 Apr 2010, 6:35 am

Sacrip's advice is good. Don't worry about trying to conform to what you think girls will like.

Also, don't shop around for a girl you think meets your criteria. Work on being the person you want yourself to be and be open to other people trying to be friendly. Be broad minded. You'll have more success, or at least more happiness that way than if you make finding a girlfriend your sole pursuit.

You say that you are boring. That's your judgement about yourself, so why not change that and as a result like yourself a bit more? Get a hobby other than computer games. You can still play those, but maybe do a sport some days too. You don't have to be great at anything, just willing to give it a go.

You don't have to dance, you don't have to drink (learn to drive and everyone who does will be your friend) and not all girls are into loud nightclubs.



machf
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21 Apr 2010, 1:30 pm

tangerine12 wrote:
I for the most part don't go to bars or clubs b/c

1- i don't dance,
2- noise light gives me headache
3- i don't drink
4- i can't hear conversation

other than video games and reading, i don't do a lot of other stuff b/c of my clumsiness.

That description could be applied to myself, too. But why do you say you're boring? Don't you enjoy the things you do? Isn't it rather that some other people think that those things you like are boring? Isn't it equally true that you most likely find the things they like as boring or even more? There's no absolute scale for that, it's all just a matter of personal preferences. Simply don't try to hang around with people with too disimilar interests, look for those with similar or compatible ones instead. It would be a very boring world if everyone liked exactly the same things, and similarly disliked the same, too... look for someone you find interesting and who finds you interesting too. Of course, it's very possible that both will be afraid... one wil have to take the first step if that's the case.

(And now let's see if I can take my own advice...)



DavidM
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21 Apr 2010, 3:30 pm

tangerine12 wrote:
My greatest fear with girls is that they would discover the truth about me, that I am boring, I am easily overstimulated,
and I have few friends and not a very active social life. After a busy day I prefer to be alone as I am overstimulated.
Also I prefer to stay quiet rather than socialize or converse. I do like playing video games, and watching
WHo's the deadliest warrior on spiketv

I'm afraid that would-be gf's will tell me I'm boring. and others.




I have the same problem.

The cure is: sex.

Sex not only feels good but is very exciting.

Drop some subtle innuendos, smile and make her blush and giggle every now and then.

She will be obsessing about kissing and touching you so much she won't care how many friends you have. She'll only want one thing from you. Which will be very exciting :flower:



Lene
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21 Apr 2010, 6:28 pm

DavidM wrote:
tangerine12 wrote:
My greatest fear with girls is that they would discover the truth about me, that I am boring, I am easily overstimulated,
and I have few friends and not a very active social life. After a busy day I prefer to be alone as I am overstimulated.
Also I prefer to stay quiet rather than socialize or converse. I do like playing video games, and watching
WHo's the deadliest warrior on spiketv

I'm afraid that would-be gf's will tell me I'm boring. and others.




I have the same problem.

The cure is: sex.

Sex not only feels good but is very exciting.

Drop some subtle innuendos, smile and make her blush and giggle every now and then.

She will be obsessing about kissing and touching you so much she won't care how many friends you have. She'll only want one thing from you. Which will be very exciting :flower:


Bad advice. Unless you are dating a complete nymphomaniac, she will want far more than one thing from you.

Relationships aren't purely about sex. Nearly every adult human on this planet has functioning sexual organs, but not everyone is suited to each other. It takes a lot more than merely possessing genitals to gain someone's interest and maintain a relationship.

And frankly, I would find a guy whose one dating tactic was repeated attempts at 'sex appeal' far more boring than a guy who was interested in computer games.



y-pod
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21 Apr 2010, 6:32 pm

You sound just like my DH. We've been together for 15 years and I never think he's boring. OK I do think I'm more interesting than him, but he's not boring either. :D You just need to find the right kind of girl.



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21 Apr 2010, 6:40 pm

Well, this fear is also kind of derived on how society (or at least American) depicts people. With the exception of some movies and the random series, the "gamers/geeks" etc rarely (if ever) find a significant other. You can only try what's available the MIGHT work for you: online dating, random places you enjoy when you do happen to leave your home (book stores/libraries could be a place to start if im reading your entry right). A question i will pose, and im not sure if it can be answered easily) but someone on a previous thread asked, "What is it you would want out of a relationship, and what could you offer (in the long term) the individual whom you fancy?" I know most of us seek some form of companionship, but i know that many of us (myself likely included) struggle with the latter.



DavidM
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21 Apr 2010, 7:00 pm

Lene wrote:
DavidM wrote:
tangerine12 wrote:
My greatest fear with girls is that they would discover the truth about me, that I am boring, I am easily overstimulated,
and I have few friends and not a very active social life. After a busy day I prefer to be alone as I am overstimulated.
Also I prefer to stay quiet rather than socialize or converse. I do like playing video games, and watching
WHo's the deadliest warrior on spiketv

I'm afraid that would-be gf's will tell me I'm boring. and others.




I have the same problem.

The cure is: sex.

Sex not only feels good but is very exciting.

Drop some subtle innuendos, smile and make her blush and giggle every now and then.

She will be obsessing about kissing and touching you so much she won't care how many friends you have. She'll only want one thing from you. Which will be very exciting :flower:


Bad advice. Unless you are dating a complete nymphomaniac, she will want far more than one thing from you.

Relationships aren't purely about sex. Nearly every adult human on this planet has functioning sexual organs, but not everyone is suited to each other. It takes a lot more than merely possessing genitals to gain someone's interest and maintain a relationship.

And frankly, I would find a guy whose one dating tactic was repeated attempts at 'sex appeal' far more boring than a guy who was interested in computer games.



Sex is what will bring her back to you, time after time, wanting more.

No couple will ever eat from the same plate until they have been exposed to and become comfortable with each other's genitals.

The veneer of pretensions and formalities will never be revealed until this most intimate of desires has been fulfilled.

Since it is unlikely that the man will make a big impression merely through penetrative intercourse (there are exceptions), he should focus a great deal on kissing her, her neck, and taking his mouth to her other erotogenic zones. If he manages to do this well, she will always be fond of him.



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21 Apr 2010, 7:06 pm

Actually, not really. You don't become attracted and crave a certain man because of sex. If someone completely unattractive personality wise had sex with me it would just be a "meh" situation.



Lene
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21 Apr 2010, 7:28 pm

DavidM wrote:
Sex is what will bring her back to you, time after time, wanting more.

No couple will ever eat from the same plate until they have been exposed to and become comfortable with each other's genitals.

The veneer of pretensions and formalities will never be revealed until this most intimate of desires has been fulfilled.

Since it is unlikely that the man will make a big impression merely through penetrative intercourse (there are exceptions), he should focus a great deal on kissing her, her neck, and taking his mouth to her other erotogenic zones. If he manages to do this well, she will always be fond of him.


I don't mean to be rude, but where are you getting this from? Have you had much relationship experience? (and I don't mean one-night stands)



astaut
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21 Apr 2010, 8:13 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Actually, not really. You don't become attracted and crave a certain man because of sex. If someone completely unattractive personality wise had sex with me it would just be a "meh" situation.


I agree with this 100%. I have been in this situation so I can vouch for it (I haven't had sex, but in a physical situation).



DavidM
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21 Apr 2010, 10:31 pm

Lene wrote:
I don't mean to be rude, but where are you getting this from? Have you had much relationship experience? (and I don't mean one-night stands)




I have had occasions in the past where young women were sizing me up and gearing themselves up for action where I pooped out like some kind of ret*d pansy.

But I learned my lessons.

Nowadays I give women exactly what they ask me for.

:mrgreen:



tangerine12
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21 Apr 2010, 11:41 pm

Lene wrote:
Sacrip's advice is good. Don't worry about trying to conform to what you think girls will like.

Also, don't shop around for a girl you think meets your criteria. Work on being the person you want yourself to be and be open to other people trying to be friendly. Be broad minded. You'll have more success, or at least more happiness that way than if you make finding a girlfriend your sole pursuit.

You say that you are boring. That's your judgement about yourself, so why not change that and as a result like yourself a bit more? Get a hobby other than computer games. You can still play those, but maybe do a sport some days too. You don't have to be great at anything, just willing to give it a go.

You don't have to dance, you don't have to drink (learn to drive and everyone who does will be your friend) and not all girls are into loud nightclubs.


I know girls who frequent clubs would not find me interesting. I of course would like to knock them up but constantly talking to them = overstimulation