ways to beat loneliness?

Post Reply New Topic

What are some ways for us lonely types to combat the loneliness? I figured that among the bunch of us here on L&D, we could come up with some examples. I, for one, just try to think about something else. It's simple enough, and it works especially well when I'm busy, but eventually my thoughts return to how lonely I am, so it's only a temporary solution...

If you have any ideas, feel free to post.

Develop hobbies and interests, learn to play a musical instrument, take up photography, do volunteer work at an animal shelter, etc...find activities that you like to do and then, immerse yourself in those activities.

That's basically what I was just saying, and what I keep trying to do, but it doesn't work forever...

i never feel lonely because i like to be in my own company, and that is handy because i am always here.

I'm the same way. I like to be with my son, though. He is a comfortable person to be mutually alone with. I pretty much have zero desire for social interaction irl.

gtfo ^^

Taking classes can be useful. I just signed up for a class that starts Monday. I am hoping to meet some people that I will get along with, although this sort of thing usually doesn't last beyond the class. If nothing else, it will give me some goal to pursue.

I don't know if this applies to you, but one of the problems I have that makes me tend to isolate myself is that I feel like I have to be invited to join a group or else I am not wanted. But in order to feel like someone is inviting me, they have to be very direct and obvious or else I feel rejected. I feel like a vampire who has to be invited in before I can enter someone's house.

I tend to listen to podcasts; things like "The Skeptics Guide to the Universe" where there is a group of people talking. This kind of fulfills the need for conversation with people. It's not as good as actual conversation, but it helps.

A bad habit to get into is drinking out of loneliness or boredom. It can give you temporary relief, but it only puts off the solution and sometimes makes it worse because then, not only are you shy and reserved, but you are also a drunk.

Exercise helps. It gives you energy and might even make you feel better about yourself so you may feel less reserved in your interactions with others. I like biking alone, but some people enjoy group rides. Local bike shops often organize these sorts of things. But the main advantage to exercise is that rush of energy can help you accomplish things that seem difficult.

One of the things that usually causes me a great deal of anxiety is having to interact with people in my apartment building. I hate riding an elevator with someone else or running into a person and having to exchange small talk. But I recently noticed that my anxiety is more of a habit than any real problem in talking to people. I have to remind myself that if I smile and say "hello" that I can get through these interactions mostly unscathed. Sometimes just forcing yourself to deal with some small interaction can help you realize that you can deal with even greater interactions.

Don't try to accomplish too much all at once. Start small. If you don't tend to smile at people, make an effort to smile every now and then. I started to do this and now it's mostly an unconscious thing that I do when I encounter people. It may not make me any friends, but it makes it less likely that I'll offend people.

I hope some of this helps,

Lars

write "loneliness" on a piece of paper, then screw it up and throw it in the bin.

sorry i am off to bed immediately and this post is stupid but i like to leave stupid artifacts in my wake.

ToadOfSteel I would suggest volunteering, like with the literacy program or something. Also, I had my son on a waiting list for a Big Brother for years. Every once and a while, they would have a function for the kids still waiting and would pair the kids up with a volunteer adult. They were always women and I asked why. They told me men don't volunteer. It's a way to meet people who know people.

Go to college or work. Minimise the amount of time you spend left to your own personal thoughts; too much of it is bad for your mental health.

Video games.

Great topic, assuming people reply with specific suggestions.

Exercise outside.

Invent imaginary friends.

I play fighting games competitively. It's something I would have done anyway but the competitive aspect gives me reason to travel and meet new people. It's pretty fun.

Hey I'm trying to do constructive stuff here... people say I should do that more often.


I've mentioned my volunteer work at my church ad nauseam on this board, so I won't get into it further. If I knew what kind of volunteer stuff around here attracted younger people, men and women (yes, I'd love to find a girlfriend through such ventures too, but at this point I just want to have friends my age that I get to see in real life... all of my friends are only one of the two), I would be all over that. Alas, I don't know any such place...