Do women not like aspie guys?

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Hector
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27 May 2010, 9:15 pm

xdr5tgb wrote:
The criminalization of prostitution is dicriminatory to aspies

It may make certain things more difficult, but it's hardly discriminatory. There's no conspiracy, the law isn't there to spite those with AS.



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27 May 2010, 9:31 pm

I don't think it is a matter of women not liking men with Aspergers - it might be that men with Aspergers do not notice the women that are available to them.

My dear husband also has autistic traits. He told me about a time (long, long before he met me :wink: ) when he was at a social gathering. His friend advised him after-the-fact that the woman sitting next to him was being quite flirtatious towards my then single oblivious husband. He didn't even realize!!

On the other hand, there are Aspie guys who hone in on a woman and have no idea that she is simply not interested.

I personally like the internet dating sites. I met my own dear hubby on match.com

I think that speed dating is also a neat concept. These events are nice because your cards are all on the table. Everyone there is single and looking. You chat for ten minutes and then move onto the next person. You indicate on a card which people you would like to exchange contact information with. The facilitators then gather all the cards and the people who both would like to contact each other are given the appropriate contact information. The chat sessions are short and sweet. There is no awkward rejection in person and everything is kept nice and light. For Aspies who are a little more socially comfortable (but not so comfortable that they would just approach someone randomly) - Speed Dating might be something to try.

Back to whether women like Aspie guys (or NT men like Aspie women) - it is hard to say. People want to be around someone that they are comfortable with. If an Aspie person is too intense or appears unconcerned about those around them- this might make a potential partner uncomfortable. Aspies are not the most sociable people out there (understatement) - so the number of contacts will be less than with NTs and the contacts that they do have may not feel a strong connection (at least not right away).



techstepgenr8tion
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27 May 2010, 9:32 pm

Its being eccentric or different (even if acting normal if your center is out of the main lane of societal thought its still the same). AS, NT, guy, girl, if you're unlike most people you'll find much fewer right fits.

Here's something else to chew on though - a aspie guy's success with women seems to have little correlation on how well he's doing with his AS (ie. at least if he has the basics - good hygiene, a job, etc.). I think that goes to show as well, usually its who you look like, how particular the needs of your own personality type are, etc. - so you really can't hold yourself up necessarily against other guys here either because core traits usually aren't something you could just scoop out and throw away.



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27 May 2010, 11:03 pm

xdr5tgb wrote:
The criminalization of prostitution is dicriminatory to aspies,


How?



zen_mistress
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28 May 2010, 1:13 am

I very much like AS men. :) :) :heart: :hic: :heart: :drunken: :)


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28 May 2010, 2:11 am

hale_bopp wrote:
xdr5tgb wrote:
The criminalization of prostitution is dicriminatory to aspies,


How?


The women that I seem to be attracted to are interested in confident men who enjoy talking and flirting. I have a hard time having conversations in public due to my hearing/noise processing issues. Plus, I don't think I'm clever enough to entertain with funny jokes. Instead of paying 50-100 bucks on a few dinners and drink and supplying entertainment, just pay the 50-100 bucks and forget the hassle. Socialization provides access that aspies can't get.

By keeping prostitution illegal people with poor socialization skills are kept from the 'free market' of satisfaction.

I am a much better workaholic than a joke teller. people should be able to convert workaholic currency into joke currency.



Kaysea
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28 May 2010, 4:29 pm

Women in my area seem to be very attracted to spectrum-ish men. Perhaps it is the culture here (lots of artists).



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29 May 2010, 6:39 am

NTs in general don't like what's different - if you can find a member of the opposite sex who is an exception, hold onto them.



ursaminor
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29 May 2010, 6:53 am

Well, turns out girls like psychopaths.



techstepgenr8tion
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29 May 2010, 9:55 am

Asp-Z wrote:
NTs in general don't like what's different - if you can find a member of the opposite sex who is an exception, hold onto them.

Well - maybe, maybe not, it still depends on all the factors of are they a healthy influence on your life.



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29 May 2010, 11:55 am

xdr5tgb wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
xdr5tgb wrote:
The criminalization of prostitution is dicriminatory to aspies,


How?


The women that I seem to be attracted to are interested in confident men who enjoy talking and flirting. I have a hard time having conversations in public due to my hearing/noise processing issues. Plus, I don't think I'm clever enough to entertain with funny jokes. Instead of paying 50-100 bucks on a few dinners and drink and supplying entertainment, just pay the 50-100 bucks and forget the hassle. Socialization provides access that aspies can't get.

By keeping prostitution illegal people with poor socialization skills are kept from the 'free market' of satisfaction.

I am a much better workaholic than a joke teller. people should be able to convert workaholic currency into joke currency.


There is no right to intimacy, therefore no discrimination. There are a lot of valid arguments for legalized prostitution; this is not one, in my opinion.


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29 May 2010, 12:42 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
I very much like AS men. :) :) :heart: :hic: :heart: :drunken: :)


Aspie guys = hawt.


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Tim_Tex
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29 May 2010, 12:47 pm

Another hot Aspie guy here!! !


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29 May 2010, 2:05 pm

Well I'm gonna get slaughtered for saying this but fudge it. I think the problem (here in British culture can't comment for elsewhere) is that a lot of young women think they are too good for a lot of guys especially those who are shy or different. A lot of this I think is media fuelled, due to glossy womens magazines telling their readers that whatever is they have in their lives there is always something more/something better out there.

That's only my opinion though. I also don't think the AS thing is relevant, people need to stop reading far too much into that.


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29 May 2010, 3:04 pm

It's definately a shyness issue on my part. I prefare to have someone that can lead me in a conversation, etc, since I don't know what to do on my own. I think with another Aspie too many things would be left unsaid.
I'm not against going with an Aspie, though. I'm just saying I think I would find it difficult.



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29 May 2010, 5:02 pm

Sorry for sticking my nose in I was hunting for some information got sidetracked by this thread and just had to reply !

I recommend the book Men are from mars and women are from venus by John Gray !

I think alot of it comes from communication, when you look at "normal" men and women (sorry do you say NT?) men moan ALOT about nagging women. Women like to talk about problems(even I dont hang out with women because they do my head in!) and I think that is why AS women would go well with either group but "normal" women would not go well with AS men necessarily. Saying that though you get different types of people some people are naturally quiet etc and therefore would be more suitable.

Personally I steer clear of the men that readily ask me out unless I can see that they are nervous and then if I like them I would say yes, this is because it is a certain type of man that goes straight up to women and they would not be suitable for me. I think in the same way you should look in the right place for women to date a woman in a nightclub is likely to be very different from one you find at a bird-watching club.

Dont ask me about how to tell if they are interested I find men making a move on me out of nowhere and have no idea how it got to that :cry: and its such a shock that I just look at them doing a goldfish impression 80 and feel like a right idiot Im SSsssooo going to be a lonely spinster.

I would also like to say that I had a quick look at the who is available ? post and regardless of if I am diagnosed with AS I would DEFIANTLY DATE AN AS MAN ! In fact if I am diagnosed I will join the local AS group which I was having reservations about and if I am not I will join the friendship scheme thing (I have quite clearly paid attention to everything I have read :oops:) You are the sort of people that I have always chosen as friends and wanted to date and I dont think it is a question of AS or not I think it is more personality type ! And if it makes a difference to someone that you have a label of AS then they are not worth being with ! ANYONE can have their life destroyed in some manner be it physical or mental disability, permanent or temporary you never can tell what life has in store, but one thing I do know is the shallow people are never worth it, I think if someone rejects you for being AS you should feel relief that you found that out about them because there are women out there that want men with your qualities and will be there through good times and bad !