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Butterflair
Deinonychus
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13 Jun 2010, 12:27 pm

I wish my Aspie friend liked older women. There is quite a bit of age difference and I love him and would do anything for him but he does not share my feelings. All he wants is friendship and sometimes I even wonder if he wants that.

It's interesting to read how so many Aspies can't find partners, who wouldn't be picky, who want to be loved.. and here is my guy at 25 who doesn't care that he has a woman who understands him, would give him anything and loves unconditionally. All because he can't think of me that way. Sad isn't it.


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13 Jun 2010, 12:43 pm

I too much prefer mature women, ranging from 30's - 40's. Their bodies are filled out, they tend to have better curves to younger women, and they're behavior is typically mature as well.

Quote:
I can see the appeal of an older woman to a person with AS. I'd assume there's a lower likelihood of the dodgy social games younger people (guys too) tend to play. Although, my experience with an older woman seems to contradict this.


In my personal experience they rarely ever play silly games. I appreciate that, and that's part of what attracts me to them.


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harlequinsenor
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13 Jun 2010, 11:48 pm

Oh I LOVE older women.



QuietStorm81
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28 Jul 2010, 1:20 pm

I'm not sure if I love older women but I know that I've consistently wanted sex from women 5-7 years older than me. the thing is, the age gap scares me in going and talking to these women because I'm not sure if what I have to offer is what they will accept.

Granted, these issues are just as manifest in young girls but the age thing does tend to add a bit of sugar to the gas tank. Any ideas on how an aspie cub can talk to an 30+ woman?



Xenu
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28 Jul 2010, 2:13 pm

Everyone loves the Milfs. Their bodies seem a lot more mature and just better looking than a early twenties late teens girl. And they also have more experience.



happymusic
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28 Jul 2010, 4:37 pm

QuietStorm81 wrote:
I'm not sure if I love older women but I know that I've consistently wanted sex from women 5-7 years older than me. the thing is, the age gap scares me in going and talking to these women because I'm not sure if what I have to offer is what they will accept.

Granted, these issues are just as manifest in young girls but the age thing does tend to add a bit of sugar to the gas tank. Any ideas on how an aspie cub can talk to an 30+ woman?


Women like to know they're wanted, admired, etc., regardless of age and it's very flattering to an older woman to be admired by a younger man. Just keep it classy - the problem with younger men isn't necessarily sexual inexperience (experience is nice, but not always a deal breaker, especially if the guy is great otherwise) or that they haven't risen to the top of their field yet. It's that often there is a lack of refinement - sometimes in the guy's home (a stereotypical 20 something bachelor pad isn't very attractive to me, for example), the kinds of restaurants you like, past times, knowledge of the world (literature, culture), to name a few.

One of the biggest differences I've found in older men who I find attractive and younger men is the way they think about women. It seems a lot of times that younger men, in their attempts to make sense of women are often trying to categorize female behaviour and motivations which can be alienating whereas older men (the ones I've found attractive) seem to have dispensed with trying altogether. :lol: Ironically, I've often been treated more respectfully by older men who were born before women typically worked outside the home.

One of the attractive qualities of younger men is their sex drive, so what a younger man may lack in experience, he can often make up for in enthusiasm. So, in subtle ways, as you get to know an older woman, you can let her know that you'd be an animal in bed. And with regards to talking to a woman who's a few years older, obviously you don't ever emphasize how much you like "older women" - which is relative anyway- because most women who are 35 don't see themselves as "older women". Also, you should be very honest with them, they've seen a lot of the sort of younger man shenanigans before and can get impatient with behavior patterns that they may connect to immaturity. Though by the late 20s most men are beyond that IMO.

Anyway, I can only speak for myself.



Spyral
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31 Jul 2010, 2:58 am

Huh...guess I'm an older woman, too, even though I'm only 35. Weird...

But for me, it's all about life stages. It's hard for us "older gals" who are never married, no kids to find someone in our age range that is the same. The kids thing is really weird for me--I would be very wary personally about a guy with kids. I like my friends' kids and all, but in a boyfriend it might be strange. But younger/older--doesn't make much difference to me, I guess. It might be different dating a fellow Aspie vs. an NT, though. It's been awhile since I've actually dated anyone, that I can't really say what it would be like.



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31 Jul 2010, 8:51 am

I'm not that much into this, but I find exceptions now and then.

One example: I was crazy about Torri Higginson as Dr. Elizabeth Weir in Stargate: Atlantis.


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Surya
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31 Jul 2010, 3:20 pm

Been trying to avoid posting in this thread, have read it a couple times.. but because of my 'hoof-in-mouth' syndrome and my personal preference - thought best to stay away.. (particularly since I am not really looking for anything)

but oh well.. it came back up showing a new post and I gave in.. muahh..

CanadianRose wrote:
I have no idea whether this is common with young men with Aspergers. Maybe older women are not as into the silly games of youth and appreciate a more intellectual, clear and logical Aspie guy.

In any event, as an almost 40 year old - it is nice that we are considered attractive. :D


It actually might be common - if I was to just go off of my own personal experience.. but can't properly say it is.

Or I am just really attracted to younger Aspies..

I know two were told they were of the spectrum at a young age
the others fit a lot of the traits - but I am not inside their brain so can't be 100%

As I get older the age gap gets wider though .. but the common interest basically stay the same
- I say basically, because technology changes

Like the first guy I was in a relationship with, my age - met him at the arcade I hung out at, that a friends mother owned
- he was the tech guy that came in to repair the machines - I found the inner workings fascinating,
and had no problem 'sticking my nose' into his work the first day I met him.
- He thought it was odd that I was actually interested and thought I was being sarcastic - my friend had to explain to him, no, she really is like that and will take things apart to see how they work (and put them back together.. umm .. well except for that stupid 'baby doll' :oops: .. but that is something else.. oops)

- He took the time to explain everything he was doing and why. He was intelligent, loved his job and what he did, was very knowledgeable in it - and that gave him this incredible confidence in what he liked to do- After fixing the game, we would test it out
- He did NOT let me 'win' because I am a girl, like some guys try doing.. No, we would get really competitive and say some nasty things to each other while we tested the games. Sometimes he won, sometimes I won.. but the winning, may or may not have been a part of it - maybe who knows

But for me, it doesn't get much sexier/hotter than something like that.. the something could be different

Older guys, well.. first are old. But generally do not like change much.
and by change, I mean.. well to be very stereotypical and maybe way over the top exaggerating.. I will use this as an example:

old male female couple out shopping..
female sees a DVD Player.. points it to male
female says 'maybe we should get one of those?'

male " goddamnit woman.. we have that Beta machine we got a couple years back
it works perfectly fine for what we need it for... Whats next? you going to want me to take the 8Track player out of the car and replace it with one of
those smaller tapes like you nagged at me before about?"

female ' no dear'

male ' bloody woman.. always wanting to spend my hard earned cash'
..

Like I said, over the top exaggerating - but did it make my point?
also.. to many older males.. are also silverbacks.. and I can't




CMaximus wrote:
Probably because the lady's more confident. There's also the "nurture" thing, seeing as many of us are quite young for our age in many ways.


what do you mean by 'nurture'?



Shebakoby
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31 Jul 2010, 9:49 pm

I am definitely an 'older woman' now. :P



Didacticity
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31 Jul 2010, 11:01 pm

It's very enjoyable being twenty-seven and feeling free to find women of various ages attractive (as opposed to being eighteen and only finding eighteen-year-olds attractive). From this standpoint, women in their twenties, thirties and forties tend to be the most devastating, but there's no rule to it and that could change. But it doesn't seem that age should be a quality specifically sought after, and the same is equally true for youth.



Surya
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01 Aug 2010, 12:01 am

Didacticity wrote:
It's very enjoyable being twenty-seven and feeling free to find women of various ages attractive (as opposed to being eighteen and only finding eighteen-year-olds attractive). From this standpoint, women in their twenties, thirties and forties tend to be the most devastating, but there's no rule to it and that could change. But it doesn't seem that age should be a quality specifically sought after, and the same is equally true for youth.


I hope I kind of read some of what you said wrong. Devastating? And quality specifically sought after?
I don't so much seek, more so I am found, or sought. But I do prefer younger guys, and as I get older, people really seem to frown on it. Seems like more double standards to me.

May I ask, how old you were when you realised you had started to be attracted to older women,? From your post, sounds like not that long ago.
Because not all 18 year old guy goes after 18 year old females and you are in the higher end of the ages of guys I have been in 'relations' with.
About 5 (4?) years ago, the biggest age gap pursuit happened, not by me, by him (little bugger) - When I actually found out his age, at a night club no less, I wanted to put him over my knee, then send him back to his mother to wipe away his tears. I was so ticked off and ill trying to not think about what could have happened.
But my 'friends' thought it was funny! We all thought he was somewhere around 19-22ish.. not so and this growth/ageing thing that is happening to younger people last 10 odd years (maybe a bit longer) needs to stop.



foreveryoung
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01 Aug 2010, 12:12 am

There's only a handul of older women I find attractive or found attractive when they were a certain age...Gillian Anderson (Scully from X-FIles), Jane Leeves (Daphne from Frasier) Peri Gilpin (Roz from Frasier) and a few others. Gillian, however, I found her attractive when she was younger as well. Daphne and Roz were in their early 30s to early 40s when Frasier was on. Gillian is in her early 40s now and still looks great.

I could make an argument for Gillian Anderson being the most beautiful woman in the world, back then and now.



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01 Aug 2010, 3:19 pm

Surya wrote:
Didacticity wrote:
It's very enjoyable being twenty-seven and feeling free to find women of various ages attractive (as opposed to being eighteen and only finding eighteen-year-olds attractive). From this standpoint, women in their twenties, thirties and forties tend to be the most devastating, but there's no rule to it and that could change. But it doesn't seem that age should be a quality specifically sought after, and the same is equally true for youth.


I hope I kind of read some of what you said wrong. Devastating? And quality specifically sought after?
I don't so much seek, more so I am found, or sought. But I do prefer younger guys, and as I get older, people really seem to frown on it. Seems like more double standards to me.

May I ask, how old you were when you realised you had started to be attracted to older women,? From your post, sounds like not that long ago.
Because not all 18 year old guy goes after 18 year old females and you are in the higher end of the ages of guys I have been in 'relations' with.
About 5 (4?) years ago, the biggest age gap pursuit happened, not by me, by him (little bugger) - When I actually found out his age, at a night club no less, I wanted to put him over my knee, then send him back to his mother to wipe away his tears. I was so ticked off and ill trying to not think about what could have happened.
But my 'friends' thought it was funny! We all thought he was somewhere around 19-22ish.. not so and this growth/ageing thing that is happening to younger people last 10 odd years (maybe a bit longer) needs to stop.


Ah. Sounds like you did read something wrong, but not sure exactly what. If it wasn't noted at first, in this context "devastating" was meant to mean the same thing as "ravishing," i.e. it was meant as a positive thing. Using the word devastating in that way might be rather archaic -- it sounds to me like something people might have said in the 1910's or 20's. Certainly it's not the same as women of that age look devastatED, which in addition to being insulting is obviously not true.

The point of the post was to say that to a guy in his twenties women in their 20's, 30's and 40's seem attractive, which seems fairly common-sensical. Some might argue that a 20's/40's age difference is too much, but there should be some leeway. The other point was to emphasize that, personally, there is NO specific age that seems most attractive. In other words, this is not being written by a guy that would only date an older woman, or conversely would only date a younger woman.

The thing about 18-year-old men only finding women their own age attractive is more tenuous. Instead, it should have been noted that it's rare to find men that age -- right out of high school -- dating outside of their immediate age group.



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02 Aug 2010, 10:20 pm

Didacticity wrote:
Surya wrote:
Didacticity wrote:
It's very enjoyable being twenty-seven and feeling free to find women of various ages attractive (as opposed to being eighteen and only finding eighteen-year-olds attractive). From this standpoint, women in their twenties, thirties and forties tend to be the most devastating, but there's no rule to it and that could change. But it doesn't seem that age should be a quality specifically sought after, and the same is equally true for youth.


I hope I kind of read some of what you said wrong. Devastating? And quality specifically sought after?
I don't so much seek, more so I am found, or sought. But I do prefer younger guys, and as I get older, people really seem to frown on it. Seems like more double standards to me.

May I ask, how old you were when you realised you had started to be attracted to older women,? From your post, sounds like not that long ago.
Because not all 18 year old guy goes after 18 year old females and you are in the higher end of the ages of guys I have been in 'relations' with.
About 5 (4?) years ago, the biggest age gap pursuit happened, not by me, by him (little bugger) - When I actually found out his age, at a night club no less, I wanted to put him over my knee, then send him back to his mother to wipe away his tears. I was so ticked off and ill trying to not think about what could have happened.
But my 'friends' thought it was funny! We all thought he was somewhere around 19-22ish.. not so and this growth/ageing thing that is happening to younger people last 10 odd years (maybe a bit longer) needs to stop.


Ah. Sounds like you did read something wrong, but not sure exactly what. If it wasn't noted at first, in this context "devastating" was meant to mean the same thing as "ravishing," i.e. it was meant as a positive thing. Using the word devastating in that way might be rather archaic -- it sounds to me like something people might have said in the 1910's or 20's. Certainly it's not the same as women of that age look devastatED, which in addition to being insulting is obviously not true.

The point of the post was to say that to a guy in his twenties women in their 20's, 30's and 40's seem attractive, which seems fairly common-sensical. Some might argue that a 20's/40's age difference is too much, but there should be some leeway. The other point was to emphasize that, personally, there is NO specific age that seems most attractive. In other words, this is not being written by a guy that would only date an older woman, or conversely would only date a younger woman.

The thing about 18-year-old men only finding women their own age attractive is more tenuous. Instead, it should have been noted that it's rare to find men that age -- right out of high school -- dating outside of their immediate age group.


You might want to look up the word devastating then.. because it does not mean ravishing, at all, and it never has.
So it wasn't archaic, you may have just misunderstood when someone has used the words like 'her beauty was devastating' if you added 'and caused ships to sail'
That would basically mean, because the woman was so beautiful, war was declared and the ships left to commence battle.

So in actual fact, what you said here was just as you stated
Didacticity wrote:
Certainly it's not the same as women of that age look devastatED, which in addition to being insulting is obviously not true.


Your sentence reads something like 'From this standpoint, women in their twenties, thirties and forties tend to be the most 'destroyed or destructive' (devastating), but there's no rule to it and that could change.

The word is from the late 1600 or early 1700's I believe.. my memory could be way off. I was trying to recall a poem with the word f*ck used in it, I was thinking it was 1600s, and it was 1500s.

Many things are ravishing/beautiful yet devastating. Who has hardly ever watched fire and not found the pure simplicity of it beautiful.. but to much and it can destroy cities.

But I understood what you were trying to say correctly after all, it was just not the correct use of the word. But in a way it was. If you understand what I mean.

I found it funny, some may not due to differences in humour.



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03 Aug 2010, 4:28 am

At my age I find it flattering when a younger guy notices me. I struggle with relationships, especially the social aspect. So at least I can think I'm a success at something - attracting guys.

Doesn't cure loneliness though having a few younger guys think you're cute. I would like to be able to hold down a relationship.

(Assumed devastating was meant as a short way of saying devastatingly beautiful)


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