your own turn-offs
These some of mine :
-Very quick mood shifter
-very baaaaaaaaaad dancer
-VERY baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad voice in singing
- Autistic(difficulty in communication/expression face-to-face, poor eye contact, sensory troubles, difficulty in focusing on conversation face-to-face etc ..... you know the story )
- short height (forget the myth that mature girls don't care abt that and bla bla bla ...this is BS.)
-very skinny (exlude the same previous bla-bla myth)
-Not an easygoing at all
- Not really outgoing .
-Bad listener sometimes (I can't hide the expression of "annoyed" on my face when someone bothers me with her bla bla bla )
- Bad memory ( I forget a lot of things even things such picking up someone at time xx )
- Quiet , i hate bavarding
-too nice
-no ineterest in general subjects (like politics ,movies, TV shows....)
-interesed in very specific subjects (like space discoveries , animals species , technology, business stock analysis....)
etc....
Last edited by LePetitPrince on 16 Apr 2006, 11:25 am, edited 3 times in total.
My almost complete lack of interest in, and knowledge of, mainstream subjects that everyone else seems to know about.
These subjects include popular culture (movies, music, TV, celebs, entertainment etc. etc.), sport (apart from the specific, relatively obscure soccer teams I support) and politics. Like many AS people I have an almost non-existent atention span for these subjects.
Also, my difficulty at holding down employment (and obtaining it in the first place).
All of the above are things that I was concerned for a long time would be turn-offs to the opposite sex. However, I have learned to be more comfortable with myself about it, having found out about AS.
-I'm really not comfortable around girls, and I think it's visible.
-I'm out of the loop alot
-I tend to talk about things that most females don't care about (at my school at least) These would be mostly Scifi and science.
can't think of any others... that's good, I'm rather hard on myself.
Here is 1 thing (among others) that I suspect causes trouble for me:
I am disturbingly unstereotypical, and therefore difficult for some people to comprehend. For example, to someone who regularly thinks in terms of stereotypes, my appearance and my occupation are very contradictory.
Ofcourse in reality, there is absolutely no reason why I cannot look the way I do and simultaneously do the job I do. I hate stereotyping. As we all know, it is a notoriously inaccurate way of judging an individual, but some people seem to do it anyway, and when someone like myself does not fit the stereotype, it seems to disturb them. Hollywood promotes and strengthens these stereotypes.
I have had people say to me, after I tell them my occupation, "Oh you don't look like that at all". As if it were possible to determine my occupation merely by looking at my appearance!! !
Some people seem to be more comfortable when they can quickly fit you into a predetermined mold in their mind.
Be honest? Sure, here it goes.
1. Not interested in women.
2. Not interested in sex.
3. Doesn't like socializing, parties, etc.
4. Doesn't like hugging, kissing, etc.
5. No clue how to date, flirt. etc.
6. Not interested in typical smalltalk topics.
7. Likes monologizing on topics such as theoretical physics or train timetables.
8. Very bad theory of mind (usually surprised by others' reactions, if noticed at all).
9. Can't dance.
10. Cheapskate.
11. Weird stims in public.
12. Even weirder stims in private.
13. Often grumpy or irritated by minor things.
14. Blunt (I think), able to offend just everyone.
15. Prone to misunderstanding due to inappropriate wording or tone of voice.
16. Crooked teeth, and generally physically unattractive.
17. Not athletic.
18. More, more, more...
Result: I didn't have a girlfriend until I turned 33. And now I have one that I met on this board. It is nothing short of a miracle. Some of the problems mentioned above are not an issue with her. Some we were able to work around, for other we are getting professional help. And some are still problems. None of us is ideal. But we like each other very much and want to stay together.
magic -- that is great that you have found someone! I am curious about your train timetables. See, I can easily understand how you like monologizing on theoretical physics, but when you are monologizing on train timetables, what do you say? What IS there to say about train timetables? I would not have thought that there was enough to say about train timetables in order to make a monologue of significant length. Good thing this is not a conversation at a cafe with other people present because one of them who knows you would probably slap me for asking
short
overweight
underweight
stupid
loser
foolish
awful teeth
s**t personality
boring
insecure
easily led
bandwagon jumper
computer geeky
not confident
silly hair
long hair
beards
facial bumfluff
stupid voice
too old
too young
oversensitive
clingy
not liked by people
.. I don't think anyone needs me to continue :X
Odda
Snowy Owl
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
Location: Caught in the depths, and infinite vastness of cyberspace.
I'm pretty similar to you, Magic.
1. Interested in women, but obstaining from all forms of sex (IE fondling, kissing, bondage, full on intercourse, etc.)
2. Dislikes prolonged socialization. (And yet my mother keeps forcing me to go places, and join groups... )
3. Likes hugging, arse-grabbing, and leg touching, but kissing I could live without.
4. Too shy to ask for dates, and too lazy to learn how to flirt (I'm not sure if I like flirting anyways).
5. Annoyed by smalltalk, or extended conversation.
6. Does NOT like phone conversations.
7. Unstereotypical.
8. Short tempered.
9. Unyielding.
10. Unable to take angry people seriously.
11. Cheap as heck.
12. Total pervert.
13. Can't dance well.
14. brutally honest.
15. Prone to misunderstanding due to inappropriate wording or tone of voice.
16. 'Short' and 'skinny'.
17. Not generally sociallable.
EDIT: D'OH! These are traits I can't stand in other people...I'll keep it here for reference (if that's okay). My own personal turn-offy traits will be in another post. I'm sorry guys.
-Mean/nasty/unkind.
-Immoral.
-Doesn't welcome a mental challenge/does things the easy way/shys away from complex ideas.
-Doesn't like fantasy/sci-fi, special effects, animation, etc.
-Blond. (Sorry, I just rarely find blondes attractive....)
-Isn't really into movies or games.
-Obese.
-Super skinny/no curves.
-Religious.
-Spiritual.
-Bush-supporter/pro-war/republican.
-Likes capitalism.
-Violent/sadistic/cruel.
-Likes blood and gore (in films or otherwise).
-Is always complaining about something, never saying anything positive.
-Is always annoyingly positive, never thinking about the world's problems.
-Wears bright colors (especially pink, yellow, bright orange, pastels, etc.)
-Liked the film "Lost in Translation."
-Likes math.
-Doesn't read books for fun.
-Generally ignorant (and happy that way).
-Messes with your head.
-Lacks quirks.
-Is ALWAYS talking with guys (usually a lot at once).
-Slutty/sleeps around/is into casual sex or make outs.
-Invades my personal space even when I ask her not to.
-Annoying, high pitched jabbery voice.
-Does drugs (coffee, alchohol, cigs, etc. all included).
-"Patriotic" (and thinks that being patriotic means following whatever dumb leader your country has rather than being into what your country was supposed to be about)
-Likes screamo, rap, jazz, blues, reggae, country, western, yodelling, celtic, and types of music I find annoying in general.
-Is really "busy"
-Does badly in school
-Thief/commits crimes
-Is really into Mexican food (sorry I just can't stand to be in the same room as it)
-Doesn't like Harry Potter, The Sandman, LotR, Matrix, etc.
-Stutters/slurrs/doesn't speak properly.
-Oog-lay.
-Flat-chested. (I know this is horrible, but none of these are deal breakers--it's just stuff I find unattractive.)
-Goes to raves.
-"Goody goody."
-Total bad girl with no morals.
-Is really into anime.]
-Super tall.
-Wears make up/has had plastic surgery.
-Difficult to contact and doesn't contact me.
-Distant.
-Really loud.
-Really quiet.
-Difficult to talk to.
-Manipulative.
-Doesn't read/write blogs or use the internet much.
Last edited by Veresae on 19 Apr 2006, 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Not again! Correct me if I am wrong, but as I understand it this topic is supposed to be YOUR TRAITS that are turn-offs FOR OTHER people.
*** NOT a list of what YOU dislike ***. It is supposed to be what other people dislike about you.
A list of what you dislike in others is not that interesting and easy to produce -- just any old random traits that you can think of that are negative, boring! Whereas LePetitPrince asked for the reverse activity, which I think is an interesting topic of discussion.
Well , when asked how to get from A to B, and assuming that I have studied the relevant timetable, I would explain in length all options, how often the trains depart, duration of the trip, pricing, correlation between the two, comparison to bus pricing on the same route, how to get to and from the railroad stations, cost of city transportation, etc. (We are now with my girlfriend in Europe, thus the topic of trains.) A similar example: when asked if bus tickets in Warsaw are expensive, I explained in length all ticket categories, including single ride tickets, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly passes (note: the latter 2 categories are further divided into 2 subtypes), their prices, how many single ride tickets is each pass worth, which is the best deal depending of the length of stay in the city, etc. etc. etc... My girlfriend often interrupts with a different subject, I wait until she is finished, and then return to my topic. "Enough! Enough monologizing!", she often exclaims.