A very unusual date, I recommend it.

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Lucky_0321
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05 Jul 2010, 8:12 am

So, I am not a diagnosed aspie, and refuse to self diagnose. Now, keeping that in mind, I am still exploring similarities in order to try to understand my way of thinking better. I assumed that taking one of those online tests (which I can't remember off the top of my head. It was 150 questions though) would help me understand myself a little better or at least point me in the right direction. Now, the interesting twist that I threw in there is that I invited my fiance to help. I would answer a question, and she would then assess my answer and add her input as to what she observes from her perspective. Oddly enough, I came to realize some of my eccentricities that I wasn't even aware of. I think that it really helped her as well. She now understands that I may not think the same as everyone else (which is something I am coming to grips with.) I think she had a lot of fun in a way. I am not sure how entirely accurate the tests are, but they at least help point in the right directions. Anyway, it was a strange date for us (we had to use skype since I am deployed) but it was eye opening and fun in a strange way.



ToughDiamond
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05 Jul 2010, 8:27 am

I'd say it's definitely worthwhile to accept the input of somebody who knows you well, if you're doing one of those self-assessed Aspie tests. Professional diagnosticials are usually wary of diagnosing anybody without some kind of corroboration from family members etc.

Dunno about it being a good date though. I suppose it could be that. When I've been out with women, we've often spent a lot of time exchanging information about our personalities....in fact in a way it's pretty much the only thing we ever did. So why not do it more directly? People (self included) usually love to hear about themselves from somebody else, as long as it's not too insulting.



Lucky_0321
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05 Jul 2010, 8:33 am

I guess I should clarify. She and I have been together over four years now. When I was home for my two week break from this place over here I had a bit of a meltdown that kinda ruined things for us to a degree (it's happened in the past as well, not frequently though.) Anyway, I finally gave in and started researching aspergers and found way more similarities than I originally anticipated. I found this research (and this website) to be very enlightening and decided to check out one of the online quizzes. Once I saw it I had an epiphany, why not have her online with me when I checked it out to verify my answers from her perspective. It really helped my understanding of what she sees from her perspective and helped her see what goes through my head (when I explain my answers to her, example: dark quiet rooms, being worn out when meeting lots of people, my poor taste in jokes at the wrong times and around the wrong people, etc...) So, this might be better as a date for people who have had recent issues due to misunderstanding, yet have been together for some time in order to be able to do this correctly.



Moog
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05 Jul 2010, 10:33 am

That's a good idea.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jul 2010, 2:00 pm

That's not a date , that's sharing...



ToughDiamond
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06 Jul 2010, 5:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That's not a date , that's sharing...

Yes but the two activities are not mutually exclusive.