Are there ANY over-25 virgins on Wrong Planet? Or just me?

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^Good call. I must make it non work-related, and not an ultimatum. It's hard to convey your meaning precisely in the form of an email, so this is exactly why I need her number!

She actually emailed me from her holiday! I felt so happy! It made my weekend! I said that I'd be delighted to catch up anytime after she gets back. I'm taking the fact that she took the initiative as a very good sign. I sent her another email back straight away, saying thankyou so much for the message, and that I missed her lots, and I'd love to see you when you return!

I was just shy of 27 the first time I had sex. I was 26 the first time I kissed a girl, and I was so shy that despite wanting to kiss her many times before, I couldn't do it until she kissed me (and went into panic mode for a while before I calmed down and realized I liked it). I was also very bad at reading the signals and am still learning.

Shyness (not to be confused with introversion) can be overcome. Look up the Social Anxiety Institute email list. I found a great social anxiety therapy group from that which got me through much of my shyness. It takes real work, but it's doable.

I like being touched but am *very* reluctant to touch other people unless I'm absolutely sure it's ok. Some light touches like suggested above are good--they indicate some interest or friendliness, and unconsciously give people warmer feelings toward you. A brief hand on the shoulder or arm, once in a long while I might use a finger to look at a girl's earring and compliment her on it, a hand on the small of her back...these kind of touches are generally helpful I think and casual enough not to be taken as aggressive or threatening.

I've taken a flirting class once and learned some of the physical cues or reactions people have when they like someone. Raised eyebrows, a full/natural smile, good eye contact. There are things men and women both do without realizing it when they want to impress a person, like calling attention to their breasts or genitals. There's something called mirroring where, when people like each other, they start to imitate each other's physical gestures. Scratching your face or taking a drink of water, for example. There's also some Freudian-sounding stuff that when people play with their hair, neck/necklaces, lips, etc; they're subconsciously imagining/wanting you to touch them there.

I think learning how to get anywhere romantically is about the hardest thing we have to do in life, but keep practicing and gaining experience at it and you'll slowly learn and feel more confident with it.

Cool!

-KB2IFD