Are there ANY over-25 virgins on Wrong Planet? Or just me?

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I see lots of ugly guys in their 40s dating 19 year-olds. For some rezone women like guys 2wice their age & I'd get called a pedophile I wer to date a 13year-old so I'll have to wait till I'm about 40 to date someone who's legal

I'm not saying that it never happens (because I've seen it too), but I think that its much more common in hollywood chick flicks than in real life. In other words, its a VERY bad idea to wait. Of the ones I knew of, the older man was a divorcee. Girls that are in that category are looking for more experienced, more mature men. While you may be mature in other areas, in the dating area you could be very immature compared to other guys your age if you have limited dating experience.

Some of those guys are divorced but they are going true bankruptcies or they are having lots of trouble with exes over child-support payments ect. The guys seem like total scumbag losers yet women half their age flock to em. I do NOT like the idea of waiting 10 more years to find someone but the only people interested in me rite now are gay guys & girls who are around 14 so I have no choice but to wait

What do you mean full?

That's what I'm worried about, man. As I get closer to 28, I realise that the women my age are all seriously pairing up by then, and talking about marriage and children. My time is running out. I haven't even had a girlfriend yet, so I'm way behind most of them. You're right, that did send me into a state of depression...

I hate bars (too noisy, too many crowds, I don't drink or smoke anyway, and they give me anxiety), so really the only place I meet women is at work or at my volunteer group. This one I like, I met at work two years ago, and we are pretty good friends by this point, so I don't think she'd be too freaked out if I asked her out now. I have her email, so I should email her, and ask for her number.

Yeah, you should.

My parents were 32 and 35 when they married, and they went on to have two children: the first five years later and the second seven years later.



You'd be 38 and 26 respectively, for a 12-year age gap, according to xkcd's (your age/2)+7 equation. Although rare, it's not unheard of for happily married couples to be over 14 years apart in age. Actually, since you're talking about legality, when she turns 18 you'd be 30, which is somewhat less scary, although your friends and/or family may take some time to get used to the idea. Out of curiosity, if those 14-year-olds were 23 instead would you date them? I'm not suggesting you're a paedophile, rather I'm wondering whether you identify more with their kind of personality than those of your own age.

Last edited by CrinklyCrustacean on 22 Jul 2010, 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Actually, in the strictest sense, only girls can be virgins. It has to do with whether their hymen has been ruptured by sexual activity with a man. In more common terms, its usually synonymous with "sexual experience with a partner". For heteros, it generally means full vaginal penetration, but for gays, it generally means "an orgasm caused by contact by another person."

Fight that depression by taking action. Email that girl from work and ask for her number. Try something like this:

"I really enjoyed the time we spent together at work. I would like to keep seeing you. If you email me your phone number, I will call you."

At least that way, if she fails to send you her number, the failure of the relationship to start will be her fault and not yours. If she does send it, then you must call her ASAP.

This is all assuming that you have tested her by asking questions like "Do you live alone or with your boyfriend?" The answer you hope for will indicate that she has no boyfriend and that she is straight. If she has a female roommate, this could be a bad thing, but isn't always.

Again, you need to get out to public events. Watch the paper, radio and TV for things you might be interested in. One GF I had I found her at a skating rink some friends dragged me to. There was only two unattached girls there (the rest had male partners). One girl was really hot and had about 15 guys surrounding her. The other was just average and was sitting alone. I went for the better odds and got the less attractive but sure thing.

But again I say, make sure you want to get into a relationship because that is what YOU want and not because everyone else is doing it. Women have a tendency to be a real pain in the @ss sometimes. Also, if you want kids, you will need to tolerate a relationship whether you like it or not.

I actually did send an email like this, with very similar wording. Although I left out the phone number part. I said I really enjoyed working with you, and I'd love to continue our friendship. If you'd like to grab a coffee...etc. She actually replied, saying she was very moved by my email, and would like to catch up. She's away on holiday this week, but I'll get back to her when she returns.

My grandpa on my dad's side was 14 years older than my grandma. If those 14year-olds wer a bit older & legal & not still in high-school but had the same kinda personality; I would date em. People my age are the hardest for me to relate to. The women around my age are completely obsessed with partying & when they are not talking about getting drunk, stoned & laid; they are taking about shallow superficial stuff. I get headaches listening to women my age talk & they will not give me the time of day unless they think I'm gay. I get along much better with women a lot younger or a lot older than me. As for the age difference goes; I know a case rite now with a 37year-old guy staying with a 16year-old girl & her parents because he knocked her up. I knew a guy from work a couple years ago who's 14year-old daughter was running around with a 23year-old & there was nothing he could do to stop it. When my neighbor was around 12/13 she was running around with a 19year-old & the cops wouldn't do anything about it. I've seen quite a few women who are young adults going out with guys old enough to be there dad's or granddads. I don't know what it is but women here tend to like much older guys for some rezone. I'm alone & single because I'm NOT a pedophile

Send another one and ask for her phone number. Also, send yours at the same time. Say something like: "If you get bored on your holiday, you can call my cell at 999-999-9999. I love hearing the sound of your voice." You can't be her boyfriend by email. You have to dump email communications ASAP and go with phone calls or in person meetings. If all you have is email, then you haven't got anything but a plain friendship. You DON'T want to be friends. You want her to be your girlfriend. You want her to let you put your arms around her and kiss her. "Just Friends" is bad. Its better than "Stop bothering me" but not by much.

You still have one day before the weekend so get this done now before she goes off and forgets about you.

You can always be like me...

Yes, that's true. i would like that very much. However, there's a fine line. I don't want to come off as all creepy and stalkerish. I need to just leave her alone and let her enjoy her holiday. She knows who I am, has known me for two years, so she won't forget about me after one week! There'll be plenty of time to get back in touch after she gets back from her trip.

If you wait that long, she will assume you aren't interested. Didn't you say she was beautiful? Do you think you are the only guy that has noticed that?

Just send her your phone number as I said before. That's not stalkerish if you are requesting her to call you. She can either call you or not - its her choice. She no longer works with you so she knows calling you isn't "required" by the job.

You sound a lot like me when I was your age. The "fine line" you are talking about is the line between an acquaintance and a girlfriend. You need to find out quickly if she is GF material or not and If she doesn't want to be your GF, then you need to stop wasting time with her. In that case, start looking for someone else.

But if she calls you from her trip, you need to move full speed ahead.

Yes, I did tell her she was beautiful. And I meant it. I am probably not the only guy that has noticed this. I am terrible at maintaining the balance between trying to appear interested, and yet trying not to appear too desperate. I last talked to her via email 4 days ago. Is that too long?

And yes, we no longer work together, at least for the moment (there may be another contract at some point), so if I sent her my number, she'd have no bones about the fact that I must be interested, because I can't claim that its for work-related reasons. She and I are friends by this point, and I feel very comfortable around her. She surely must know I care about her by now, because us guys aren't usually very subtle with the body language when we're attracted to somebody.

What have I got to lose? I may as well just do it. Sooner rather than later. If she only wants me as a friend, I'm fine with that. I just want to know, so I can either pursue her, or just move on, and just be friends.