Are there ANY over-25 virgins on Wrong Planet? Or just me?

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n4mwd
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18 Jul 2010, 8:43 am

Adam82 wrote:
Actually, neither of us drive. Weird, since I'm 27 and she's several months older than me, 28. I've never seen a particular interest in learning to drive. Neither has she. But anyway. That's good advice. I'll try this. Actually, I did touch her hands on a train, as we parted, about a week ago. Outside of work. She took my hand as well, and didn't recoil in horror. I think she may like me.


Well holding hands is a really good start. But you need some private time with her. Maybe see if she would be OK if you came over to her house for private time or vice versa. But girls are more comfortable in their own homes. Not that you aren't stressed enough, but girls are turned off by relationships that progress either too fast or too slow. You have to figure out her desired speed. As an aspie myself, I always found that hard to do, but its usually easier to back off if you are going too fast. And just to really stress you out, if a smooth NT guy comes along, he will steal her away from you in a heartbeat.

In my own experience at about 22 years old, I was walking with a girl on the first date on the beach at night. Then when their wasn't anybody looking, I spun around in front of her and just kissed her. My lips were like an arrow headed for a bullseye. It was just a quick peck. But then she leans toward me and then the whole frenching thing started. Yuck. That's when I found that I really hate kissing girls. But I was trapped because she liked it.

===
PS- Regarding private time in her home. Communication along the lines of "I was thinking of watching a DVD of <Insert movie title here>, would you like to watch it with me?" IF you go that route, you want a movie she wants. Girls tend to want chick flick movies and not good ones. You shouldn't care because you aren't there to watch a movie anyway.



Adam82
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18 Jul 2010, 9:07 am

n4mwd wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Actually, neither of us drive. Weird, since I'm 27 and she's several months older than me, 28. I've never seen a particular interest in learning to drive. Neither has she. But anyway. That's good advice. I'll try this. Actually, I did touch her hands on a train, as we parted, about a week ago. Outside of work. She took my hand as well, and didn't recoil in horror. I think she may like me.


Well holding hands is a really good start. But you need some private time with her. Maybe see if she would be OK if you came over to her house for private time or vice versa. But girls are more comfortable in their own homes. Not that you aren't stressed enough, but girls are turned off by relationships that progress either too fast or too slow. You have to figure out her desired speed. As an aspie myself, I always found that hard to do, but its usually easier to back off if you are going too fast. And just to really stress you out, if a smooth NT guy comes along, he will steal her away from you in a heartbeat.

In my own experience at about 22 years old, I was walking with a girl on the first date on the beach at night. Then when their wasn't anybody looking, I spun around in front of her and just kissed her. My lips were like an arrow headed for a bullseye. It was just a quick peck. But then she leans toward me and then the whole frenching thing started. Yuck. That's when I found that I really hate kissing girls. But I was trapped because she liked it.

===
PS- Regarding private time in her home. Communication along the lines of "I was thinking of watching a DVD of <Insert movie title here>, would you like to watch it with me?" IF you go that route, you want a movie she wants. Girls tend to want chick flick movies and not good ones. You shouldn't care because you aren't there to watch a movie anyway.


That's precisely what I'm worried about. I don't want to move too fast and risk scaring her off. But on the other hand, if I don't act soon, some NT guy with a flashy car and a six figure salary will come along. So it can be hard to judge the balancing act between trying too hard, and not hard enough. I think she must know I like her by now. I've hardly been subtle.



n4mwd
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18 Jul 2010, 9:23 am

Adam82 wrote:
That's precisely what I'm worried about. I don't want to move too fast and risk scaring her off. But on the other hand, if I don't act soon, some NT guy with a flashy car and a six figure salary will come along. So it can be hard to judge the balancing act between trying too hard, and not hard enough. I think she must know I like her by now. I've hardly been subtle.


I have observed a lot of guys over the years, and the fast movers seem to be the most successful. I can't promise you will have the same luck, but in my experience, its easier to back off from moving too fast than to catch her after she has run off with a smooth NT guy. One time I had a relationship with a girl in my church and I was going slow for the exact same reasons you stated. Then one day I get there and she wont talk to me and I see her getting into a car with another guy. Turns out they just got married.

One thing for sure is that its not too hard to tell that they are not happy with you moving too fast. The only thing is that you don't want to come across as a jerk or a pervert. All women are perverts in the bedroom, but NEVER in public.

Then again, one time when I was 16 and working as a store clerk with a really smooth NT guy, this really ugly girl with a big butt comes in and buys something. Then he says to her "You have a really nice ass." I mean, it could barely fit through the front door. But she goes "Thank you" and smiles at him. Then they go outside for a bit. He comes back with her phone number and a date for after work. The next day, he claims he got laid. I have no way to verify that, but based on what I saw, I have no reason to doubt him either.

Good luck to you... I hope you have her phone number. Today is Sunday and it would be a great day to watch a DVD.

===

PS- Tell her she is beautiful even if its a bold faced lie.



Kiseki
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18 Jul 2010, 10:19 am

I am 30 and a virgin, the biggest possible virgin there is :oops:

I don't know what is wrong with me. The few people I like enough to care about never like me back. I'm not ugly or creepy. Maybe I am just too lost in myself to care.



n4mwd
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18 Jul 2010, 3:30 pm

Kiseki wrote:
I am 30 and a virgin, the biggest possible virgin there is :oops:

I don't know what is wrong with me. The few people I like enough to care about never like me back. I'm not ugly or creepy. Maybe I am just too lost in myself to care.


Big virgin girls do have a harder time losing it. But then there are some really strange guys out there that like big girls. Just keep your eyes open for one one them.



Adam82
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18 Jul 2010, 5:38 pm

n4mwd wrote:

I have observed a lot of guys over the years, and the fast movers seem to be the most successful. I can't promise you will have the same luck, but in my experience, its easier to back off from moving too fast than to catch her after she has run off with a smooth NT guy. One time I had a relationship with a girl in my church and I was going slow for the exact same reasons you stated. Then one day I get there and she wont talk to me and I see her getting into a car with another guy. Turns out they just got married.

One thing for sure is that its not too hard to tell that they are not happy with you moving too fast. The only thing is that you don't want to come across as a jerk or a pervert. All women are perverts in the bedroom, but NEVER in public.

Then again, one time when I was 16 and working as a store clerk with a really smooth NT guy, this really ugly girl with a big butt comes in and buys something. Then he says to her "You have a really nice ass." I mean, it could barely fit through the front door. But she goes "Thank you" and smiles at him. Then they go outside for a bit. He comes back with her phone number and a date for after work. The next day, he claims he got laid. I have no way to verify that, but based on what I saw, I have no reason to doubt him either.

Good luck to you... I hope you have her phone number. Today is Sunday and it would be a great day to watch a DVD.

===

PS- Tell her she is beautiful even if its a bold faced lie.


Oh, she is beautiful. I told her this. See, the only problem is that we met at work, and its temp work, and our contract ended last Thursday. So I no longer have the opportunity to see her every day. That makes things a lot harder. I have her email address (she gave it to me, I didn't stalk her on Facebook). I asked her out via Hotmail, and she replied she'd love to do something sometime. I just need to make sure it actually happens. All I want to do is email her every day, and just tell her I really care about her, but that would be creepy. So I haven't done that.

There may be more work coming up, but not til November. That's too long! I can't wait til then :cry: Four months! I gotta do something. Who knows what may happen in her life between now and November? :cry:

See, I just don't get NTs, like the guy you mentioned above. It seems so easy for them to get a girl to like them.



Zara
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18 Jul 2010, 8:23 pm

29 and virgin here...

No end in sight to that...


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PlatedDrake
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18 Jul 2010, 8:35 pm

Zara wrote:
29 and virgin here...

No end in sight to that...


Same age and condition . . . then again, don't know if it's something I'd be able to handle. The idea sends a shock up my spine (and no, not necessarily a good one), and don't know IF I'd be able to enjoy it.



Quartz11
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18 Jul 2010, 11:19 pm

I'm 25. Haven't been on a date in years. Only had a couple of random drunken kisses. Never had a girlfriend or serious relationship.

I'm hoping things turn around, I think my social skills are increasing in recent.



Hector
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18 Jul 2010, 11:33 pm

Chronos wrote:
I think a better question would be, is there anyone over 25 on WrongPlanet who isn't a virgin.

You'd get far less hands.

There was a virginity poll on the Adult Autism Issues forum where it transpired that the majority of those polled had lost their virginity by their mid-20s, even among the men (who were asked separately from the women). There's a significant minority who seem to have great trouble having any sort of relationship, some in middle-age, and you tend to see many of them on the Love and Dating section in particular. In conclusion, this particular section may give a distorted impression.



JLee50
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19 Jul 2010, 12:09 am

Quartz11 wrote:
I'm 25. Haven't been on a date in years. Only had a couple of random drunken kisses. Never had a girlfriend or serious relationship.

I'm hoping things turn around, I think my social skills are increasing in recent.


Same at 26. Seems everyone I like is already taken..I'm starting to make an effort now, though - getting tired of the perpetual single life.



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19 Jul 2010, 12:42 am

JLee50 wrote:
Quartz11 wrote:
I'm 25. Haven't been on a date in years. Only had a couple of random drunken kisses. Never had a girlfriend or serious relationship.

I'm hoping things turn around, I think my social skills are increasing in recent.


Same at 26. Seems everyone I like is already taken..I'm starting to make an effort now, though - getting tired of the perpetual single life.


I'm getting sick of it, too. I have decided to make more of an effort, rather than just moaning about it. There is someone I like very much, and I intend on pursuing a relationship with her.



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19 Jul 2010, 12:56 am

It's nice to have someone you're interested in, but don't limit yourself to one person until you're actually dating that person. You are, statistically speaking, much less likely to succeed if you focus on charming one person at a time rather than several people at once.



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19 Jul 2010, 1:57 am

n4mwd wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
I am 30 and a virgin, the biggest possible virgin there is :oops:

I don't know what is wrong with me. The few people I like enough to care about never like me back. I'm not ugly or creepy. Maybe I am just too lost in myself to care.


Big virgin girls do have a harder time losing it. But then there are some really strange guys out there that like big girls. Just keep your eyes open for one one them.


I don't know if you are joking or not but I'm not big! I meant I've literally done like nothing.



KaiG
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19 Jul 2010, 8:40 am

I'm 23 next month, and I've never had even the tiniest romantic contact with a girl. No holding hands, no kissing, no dating, no cuddling, no sex, no nothing. I've been frustrated by this state of affairs for years, but I just don't know how to fix it. I want companionship and someone to do things with, not simply to lose my virginity, which I'm sure I probably could do if I went clubbing or something, and sacrificed everything that makes me me.


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