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lowfreq50
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25 Apr 2006, 8:26 pm

My "love life" recently has been a tragedy.

I met a girl who I like and who I believe likes me. I was excited because there was so much potential here for a relationship. Finally, things were starting to look good for me.

I got a new job and I work from 10pm to 6:30am. In other words, the midnight shift. I work 5 days a week and my days off are now Monday/Tuesday. Good money!

So what am I complaining about? The problem here is that my work schedule 100% conflicts with the aforementioned girl's schedule. I was supposed to go out with her on Saturday but right before then my work schedule got switched around and I had to cancel. Now I don't know if I'll ever have a chance to spend time with her. I told her about this sh***y schedule and she said to let her know when I have some free time so we can "go out for coffee or something."

I need a job so I can't afford to quite. The job market in this town is too tight and it's hard to find decent jobs.

I'm feeling very frustrated and my loneliness is increased. There's not much I can do about it. Meet another girl? No, I can't count on that happening. Anyway, my night-shift will make sure this doesn't happen. And I actually liked this girl a lot.



SheDevil
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26 Apr 2006, 6:26 am

Quote:
And I actually liked this girl a lot.


It sounds like you have already given up.......



BlueFireBird
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26 Apr 2006, 6:43 am

Don't decide too quickly to give the girl up...

Just enjoy getting to know the girl and do your new job

If it is real love, the two of you will find a way to work things out!



Astarael
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26 Apr 2006, 6:54 am

It can't be 100% incompatible, there must be some time you both have free. If you have Monday/Tuesday off there must be some time she has free as well. Just organise to see her on a lunch break or something even if it's only for 15 minutes.. it's still worth the time. If it keeps getting better the time will become available because you'll both make time to see each other. Don't give up just because it seems like it wont work! As you get closer to each other there will be alot more opportunities to see each other.



lowfreq50
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26 Apr 2006, 7:43 pm

They randomly gave me tomorrow off (Thursday) so I'll try to see her then. (My usual days off will still be Mon/Tues.) It's been more than a week since I've seen her. I will be surprised if she has not already lost interest in me. She knows about my work schedule but she doesn't have much emotional investment in me yet so is likely to pursue other men if I'm not "front and center" or "up to the challenge." Attractive girls don't have to wait for guys . . . the guys are lined up at their doors.



CelanKenay
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26 Apr 2006, 9:15 pm

I say the following with all due respect:

Bollocks. Get over this trepidation of "Oh, she might be after other men! *sob*" right now. Some people find mutual love interests easily, but if she and you have a lot in common, she probably isn't one of those folks. So...man up, swallow your bitter pride, and go git 'er.


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ELLCIM
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26 Apr 2006, 10:29 pm

lowfreq50 wrote:
Attractive girls don't have to wait for guys . . . the guys are lined up at their doors.


Don't say that too loudly around here. :wink:

In all truth though, if you meet a single girl, get her with you as rapidly as possible. I know a lot of people say "don't rush", but if another guy beats you to her by even just minutes, you're toast and she's taken.

On that note, I have learned that in online dating, the advice to "take it slow" and not actually meet in person for at least a month after contacting each other on the website is moot. In a highly competitive market, if you find a great girl and you wait just a little too long to get together with her, she's taken. Like the guy on the former radio station forum once said, "girls just have to 'be' and they'll be asked out". So true.



CelanKenay
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27 Apr 2006, 1:31 am

lowfreq50 wrote:
Attractive girls don't have to wait for guys . . . the guys are lined up at their doors.

Don't HAVE to, no we don't. But you do know that quality men are a pain in the rat's pazoo to find, right? I do have guys lined up. Guys that are decent looking, don't have anger management issues, aren't sissies, aren't cocky narrow-minded jerks, ARE intelligent and well-spoken, and aren't latent misogynists are a very tough find.

Just any guy doesn't cut it. And yeah, I know plenty of women who just are and DON'T get asked out.


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lowfreq50
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27 Apr 2006, 10:47 am

CelanKenay wrote:
I say the following with all due respect:

Bollocks. Get over this trepidation of "Oh, she might be after other men! *sob*" right now. Some people find mutual love interests easily, but if she and you have a lot in common, she probably isn't one of those folks. So...man up, swallow your bitter pride, and go git 'er.


I think you misunderstand. What I'm saying is that my work schedule is probably going to "disqualify" me, and she IS female + neurotypical + attractive so there's no "maybe" about the other guys "lined up at the door." Even if she has emotional feelings about me, such feelings are easily transferable to someone with more free time.

Time here is a resource. There are other resources a guy can have such as looks, money, intelligence, reputation, etc. Different women will look for different combinations of resources. Some prize intelligence; some couldn't care less if the man can't read. Working full-time on a midnight shift and going to college puts me in time-poverty.

Resource-driven mate selection is common for both men and women. An abundance of whatever resources you prize is a major (primary, in fact) cause of attraction. Such resources could be defined and points could be awarded to show how much of a resource a person has. People then could be given Mating Scores. LOL, sounds like a cheesy online quiz. But seriously, these resource scores could be used to select a mate... all a person would have to do is define their minimum acceptable score for each catagory and then find someone who meets the minimum acceptable scores.



lowfreq50
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27 Apr 2006, 10:53 am

CelanKenay wrote:
lowfreq50 wrote:
Attractive girls don't have to wait for guys . . . the guys are lined up at their doors.

Don't HAVE to, no we don't. But you do know that quality men are a pain in the rat's pazoo to find, right? I do have guys lined up. Guys that are decent looking, don't have anger management issues, aren't sissies, aren't cocky narrow-minded jerks, ARE intelligent and well-spoken, and aren't latent misogynists are a very tough find.

Just any guy doesn't cut it. And yeah, I know plenty of women who just are and DON'T get asked out.


LOL You're looking for a walking contradiction. Good luck finding a non-sissy who isn't cocky. And, goddamn hollywood romance movies for creating this psychologically conflicted man.

How about a short tall guy? Or a poor rich guy?



NeantHumain
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27 Apr 2006, 1:29 pm

lowfreq50 wrote:
CelanKenay wrote:
lowfreq50 wrote:
Attractive girls don't have to wait for guys . . . the guys are lined up at their doors.

Don't HAVE to, no we don't. But you do know that quality men are a pain in the rat's pazoo to find, right? I do have guys lined up. Guys that are decent looking, don't have anger management issues, aren't sissies, aren't cocky narrow-minded jerks, ARE intelligent and well-spoken, and aren't latent misogynists are a very tough find.

Just any guy doesn't cut it. And yeah, I know plenty of women who just are and DON'T get asked out.


LOL You're looking for a walking contradiction. Good luck finding a non-sissy who isn't cocky. And, goddamn hollywood romance movies for creating this psychologically conflicted man.

How about a short tall guy? Or a poor rich guy?

LoL!

Seriously, lowfreq50, you can make your and her schedules fit so that you can see each other. When you talk to her, be enthusiastic that you know it can work. By the way, I thought your work schedule was originally going to be Thursday and Friday nights off. They really screwed you over by changing it to Monday and Tuesday night like that.



CelanKenay
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27 Apr 2006, 3:37 pm

lowfreq50 wrote:
LOL You're looking for a walking contradiction. Good luck finding a non-sissy who isn't cocky. And, goddamn hollywood romance movies for creating this psychologically conflicted man.

How about a short tall guy? Or a poor rich guy?

Since when does basic confidence and self-esteem equal "arrogant?" Being self-assured is a very good thing.


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lowfreq50
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27 Apr 2006, 7:20 pm

CelanKenay wrote:
lowfreq50 wrote:
LOL You're looking for a walking contradiction. Good luck finding a non-sissy who isn't cocky. And, goddamn hollywood romance movies for creating this psychologically conflicted man.

How about a short tall guy? Or a poor rich guy?

Since when does basic confidence and self-esteem equal "arrogant?" Being self-assured is a very good thing.


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CelanKenay
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27 Apr 2006, 9:15 pm

lowfreq50 wrote:
CelanKenay wrote:
lowfreq50 wrote:
LOL You're looking for a walking contradiction. Good luck finding a non-sissy who isn't cocky. And, goddamn hollywood romance movies for creating this psychologically conflicted man.

How about a short tall guy? Or a poor rich guy?

Since when does basic confidence and self-esteem equal "arrogant?" Being self-assured is a very good thing.


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Then I guess everyone should be a little arrogant, eh? :D The ability to be secure in one's own abilities is an attractive thing. It's not a negative quality.


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