Is a gf the answer to my problems?

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DW_a_mom
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22 Jul 2010, 7:58 pm

I think the others have pretty much said this, but while you've described very nicely a key benefit to a solid relationship with the right person, it really is counter productive to ever even think that a girlfriend could the solution to a problem. You can't enter relationships looking for solutions, instead of looking at what you can give. It kind of dooms the whole thing. Find a different solution first.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Northeastern292
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23 Jul 2010, 7:45 pm

Dilbert wrote:
No.

Another person can NEVER be an answer to your inner problems, unless that person happens to be your therapist.

Even in a relationship you would still be the same old you.

Besides you need to work on improving yourself before you can expect another person to accept you into her life. So not only would it not help, but in fact a relationship most likely wouldn't even be possible. Sure you could fake it and go out on a couple of dates but eventually your negativity and your issues would resurface. And even in the unlikely event of your partner being okay with it, you wouldn't know how to handle the challenges of a long term relationship and it would still end and leave you in a worse shape than you are in now.

Sorry to be blunt, but that's how it is. Get a hobby. Talk to someone. Eat well. Sleep well. Work out. Try a sport or a martial art. Learn a new language. Learn to play a musical instrument. Travel. Go out and meet people. Practice your social skills by talking to a lot of people. Etc... fix your issues and the rest will just fall into place.


I agree completely!