My boyfriend wants a 'domestic disipline' relationship.

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he's really not. he's a lovely guy, just concerned for me.
i think he even regrets suggesting it now.
he really is a nice guy.

Yea , the two sides of the story should be heard.

Or she should tell us what are the things she's doing.

That's the third time she's saying that and you ladies are keep yelling things like "LEAVE HIM, HE'S BAD , HE'S ABUSIVE..." ....maybe she's saying the truth about him, have you ever considered that?

I have on a previous post told the things I do.

I think people automatically assume he would enjoy it. I didn't think people would be quite so judgemental, if i'm honest.

Jealous?

It's ok , the media portrays men as bad abusive creatures by default ,and the no-abusive good ones are exceptions.

Boo, poetic irony. I was about to post more until you tarred me with all the other simpletons on here.

Now that lame excuse for a WP troll has been dealt with, here goes.

Miss Ned, I wasn't calling him a misogynistic c**t. I just said that punish could imply a lot of stuff. Furthermore I don't blame him for losing his patience with you because you seem a bit tapped in the head. You look for fights with random people, drink drive, etc, and you don't seem to want to cut down on the attention whoring to make the relationship work.

If you haven't done so already you need to see a counsellor.

I came here for advice and not to be attacked.
I do want to cut down on 'attention whoring' as you so nicely put it.
Why do you think the subject even came about if I didn't want him to help me?
I'm willing to do anything to make this work- but i can't help who I am, i've been like this for as long as I can remember.
A string of abusive family members and 'friends' has affected me, yes.
I don't blame him either. Of course not, else i'd leave.

And yes, we're going to look into councilling. I've only recently had the self-esteem back to even think about tackling any of these issues. Thanks to him being there for me.

I totally disagree. If both the OP and boyfriend are willing to work together, then things can work out.

I really take offense to "Why should a person with AS be in a relationship like this?"
I know plenty of NT's with these problems. It is not like we all have an exclusive on relationship issues

Sounds like your BF is a sadist.

Even if he were technically right that things are that bad its not a good idea - as in the likelihood of such 'punishment' correcting behavior brought on by neurological conditions is slim to none. If he really has to worry about this, I'd say leave him not because you don't care about him but because you're the only one who can correct these things and until you do you may not be ready to date. Just like if he is being a control freak you should leave for that reason, if he is in the position where things are just that bad where he'd feel like he needs to - you'd be forcing him to make a monster of himself in the world's eyes and that has heavy consequences, as well as I'm sure having to be the 'punisher' would have terrible consequences on him internally.

Either way, with or without consent, whether he's a good guy or a manipulator/abuser, it sounds like things are in a bad place to go forward.

If her boyfriend is NT and doesn't think that any of her issues are due to AS or doesn't understand the severity of it then it just isn't the same paying field. Does he really understand that she may never stop doing some of these things, at least until she works through the issues herself? It depends on if he really gets it or not. He may be sincere and just not genuinely understand. I don't know the guy but it really doesn't sound good. Even if he does have good intentions, relationships just shouldn't be the basis for "fixing" the other person, you can help each other but that's a give/take thing.

It isn't just about AS though. I don't really think anyone with serious baggage should be in a relationship if one person is going be the one with "the issues" or be seen that way by the other person, but I understand how idealistic that sounds, it's honestly why I stay single most of the time. I don't expect anyone to understand my problems, if I'm not trying to solve them then I generally try to keep them to myself. this means that I am SINGLE and sexless but I've faltered in the past and it ended horribly =X

Emlion, your situation reminds me of what clinical psychologists refer to as "borderline personality disorder" (BPD). It basically means the person is emotionally unstable, prone to self-harm and afraid of being abandoned, having a poor sense of identity. While there is some debate on this, it seems a lot of people with BPD had been abused as children. I would argue that, though I was never afraid of being abandoned, I did have some borderline traits that I managed to fix. Nevertheless, they weren't so severe that I could have been diagnosed with BPD.

Contrary to what some clinical psychologists and psychiatrists say, people do recover even from full-blown BPD.

If you do have BPD (and I'm not saying you do), then I'm not sure whether it's wise for you to get officially diagnosed, as it might hinder your employment prospects. Consider finding out if you could get therapy without a diagnosis.

Take care of yourself. You can definitely overcome the things that had happened to you.

My boyfriend literally said the same thing to me a few months ago. He thought we could work through things without help, and I think maybe things have got slightly better. Say with the self harm, i used to do it every day, now i do it maybe once a week- sometimes less if i'm having a 'good week.' - We are going to look into therapy though.

Despite what the majority of people are saying I won't break up with him, because he is the ONLY good thing that's happened to me, ever. He's helping me get over a pretty traumatic childhood.

Thank you for the reply, it makes me feel a little less anxious about the whole situation.

If you stay in or near Glasgow, you could go to the Tom Allan Centre in Elmbank Street for counselling. There is no fixed fee for sessions - instead you make an anonymous donation.

http://www.tom-allan.org.uk/index.asp?p=1&s=1