Height.

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heeheehee sasquatch vs. munchkin... i've already been vocal about this on the thread, but no i don't care. i do prefer GIGANTIC doggies though; huge, badly-behaved, ridiculous mutts.

Hey, I agreed with your theory too

thank you! i appreciate your agreement very muchly. Now, if we could just pry into other people's brains and help them to change too....

Your theory isnt annoying,if you want to see an annoying theory have a look at daspie´s here. He gets everything wrong, and he refuses too see how wrong he is even though plenty of users have already pointed out how wrong it is and have told him where his theory fails.


I think your theory is right and what I liked has changed with time(usually because I had idealized something without looking into much detail and once I start looking closely I see how wrong my perception was).


As for the original question about height Im about 1.60something meters(cant find an online conversor right now) and I dont usually have a problem with girls height.

hey, thanks for agreeing with me. i agree that it really works to reflect on our own preconceptions, because often it seems like our idealizations are based on fantasy and not any reality.

i went to that other thread, and could not understand what they were talking about.

I'm with you there (except the badly-behaved part), I do love big dogs far more than tiny ones.

I don't know about a new personality, but maybe a less angry one or a less defensive/reactive one -- so, an altered personality. The irony here is that instead of saying the person is a dick, those of us who buy into the Napoleonic complex idea are really just saying there are other issues that impact the way this person behaves.

Given that we're all so ready in these politically correct days to excuse people for bad behavior because they are ignorant, underprivileged, from a different culture, ugly, otherwise disadvantaged, etc., I find it funny that height is somehow exempt.

But here, let's put it to a real test. Find me a couple where the guy is more than 4 inches shorter than the woman he is dating. And then tell me how often that happens, or how often you see it (my bet is very rarely). Then switch the genders, tall guy, short woman -- much more common, yes?

So view that from a short guy's perspective -- the tall guy has a wider selection of women from the very start. Wouldn't you be angry?

For those women here who are saying "Gee, height doesn't mean anything to me" - well, prove it. Let's see a pic of you and your "more than 4 inches shorter than you" BF or husband. Otherwise, I pretty much think those people who say that are just being contrarian.

There is a definite disconnect between some posts here and reality. Too many of us have drunk the Western Culture pie-in-the-sky "everyone is equal, period, no matter what my eyes see or my mind realizes" Koolaid. Maybe it's too disconcerting for Aspies to face the truth that some people face life with very unfair disadvantages, and that not everything has an easy solution or a happy ending?

Despite what people say in this forum, my experience of dating is that for men, being only average height confers a significant disadvantage, which actually being below average height, even an inch or two below average proves an overwhelnming, almost insuperable disadvantage.
Women are biologically wired to prefer tall men.

is there a tall women's complex too?

i actually have seen quite a few women with men shorter than them. obviously it's going to be more common to see the opposite combination because statistically speaking a male is likely to be taller than a female.
I wasn't saying being taller isn't a disadvantage for a man anyway, I was saying that I don't necessarily think it manifests itself as anger or aggression:/. Maybe they'd be angry that they had less choice in women, yes. but would that necessarily make them an angry person. and if they were an angry person, how can you categorically say that their height is at the root of their anger issues, or had any impact at all. you said yourself that there are lots of factors that influence a person's personality so I don't get why this one is given prevailance to the point that it has it's own name. and a wiki page.

well, you are assuming that the women have all the power in deciding who a shorter man will date. perhaps it is the short men who are choosing shorter women? we have no way of knowing which partner has more say in the final decision.

True enough. But even where a guy is turning down taller female dates, is he maybe rejecting himself/vetting his opportunities based on his chances? Even if it's just his pride, that really has to sting to say to oneself "Gee, I would really like to date that beautiful hot blonde over there, but I'll just look so ridiculous with her, and even if I didn't care, she might."

That would really impact one's self-esteem and life outlook.

On the other hand, I, as a tall guy, almost never have to ask myself that specific question. Rare is it that I run into a woman taller than me, and when I do, I feel a sense of wonder, and I also feel a little bit intimidated

That thread was started by someone to ask our interpretation on a situation that had occured to her, however it was soon hijacked by daspie.

Daspie believes that theres conspiracy on which nts hide the real meaning of the words we use and thats why most of us fail at communicating with nts.

I can understand the whole not getting the real meaning behind someone words but when he started saying that when someone tells you they like dogs they are calling you a dog I stopped taking daspie seriously.


A few menbers here have tried to put an end to his delusion but he refuses to accept other points of view and he claims that talking about different ways of interpreting the language is taboo for nts and thats why aspies and nts are trying to convince him he is wrong.

It can be quite funny to read daspies interpretations of a conversation and thats why I still look the thread every now and then.

well, since neither of us is a male of shorter stature, it's hard to know. we only have our own experiences and observations to go on, so we don't know whther it is the men or women who are deciding, or both.

since the males are 6 inches taller, on average, than women are, it would take some effort for most men to primarily date women who are taller than them.


who's being contrarian? you refuse to believe what people are saying, regardless. people post their honest opinions, and you disagree, but i sincerely doubt you would believe anyone's proof anyways. personally i never met a man who was shorter than me while i was single.

my grandfather was 4 inches shorter than my grandmother (as i stated earlier), my cousin is several inches shorter than his fiance, and my brother-in-law's second wife is about 3 inches taller than him, and my dad imprenated a woman who was taller than him. if you know enough short men, you will see that some of them DO date taller women.

perhaps you are only able to see it from your own perspective... it seems a little bit like you want to perpetuate some stereotypes... you've already brought up the 'napoleon complex', tried to convince us that short men are bullies, and tried to suggest that women would not date a shorter man. while it is true it can be harder for a shorter man, they can and do date taller women (or shorter women).... do you feel threatened by shorter men?

interesting ideas, but it makes communication impossible by the very nature of the allegations.

If you would go back and read a few posts back, you would see that yes, my entire point here is that I have in fact been threatened, bullied, and even assaulted by males shorter than myself in my skinnier, younger years (especially adolescence). Now that I actually stand up for myself, their haterism takes other avenues, usually in the form of relational aggression. And no, it's not just short men who do this, but they tend to be the extreme examples. The angry short guy stereotype didn't come out of nothing -- clearly millions of other people have had this same observation, pre-Napoleon -- Napoleon just served as an easy and popular label to put on it.

Perhaps it is you who refuse to believe any viewpoint outside of your own. I in fact have stated multiple times now in this very thread about my problems and run-ins with shorter guys, the issues I have seen even in those who are not hostile to me (some of whom are my friends), yet you keep shooting it down as not valid or just my individual observations. It's clear to me that I'm wasting my proverbial breath. Perhaps this is you getting defensive because of your own height?

BTW, nothing says that the Napoleonic complex is strictly a male phenomenon. I've seen short women get overly aggressive as well (apparently yourself included).

It reminds me of how a very tiny dog will bark excessively and continuously to ward off all of the "threats" it perceives, while the bigger, more secure dog will just eye those same "threats" and yawn.

I'm done with this thread -- keep telling yourself that there are no differences in people, and that everyone is mentally balanced, and that their physical being has nothing to do with their social life, preferences, or how they perceive the world (and how the world perceives them). Maybe if you tell yourself and the world the big lie long enough, everyone will believe it. I've lost interest in listening to the yapping anymore.

your opinion is worth exactly the same amount as anyone else's... and both of our opinions are less valid or reliable than actual research results...which you chose to ignore because they did not fit your idea of what short people are supposed to be like.

we have had opposite experiences with shorter men, and neither of us can be convinced of the opposite viewpoint based on anecdotal evidence. but when you choose to ignore empirical evidence, you are demonstrating that you cannot be reasoned with in regards to this topic.

why on earth would i (or anybody else) agree with your perspective when it is based only on your own experiences? naturally it's fine for you to want to express your feelings about your experiences, but you seem to think we should agree that there is something inherently wrong with short people, just because of your own bad experiences. that approach is flawed, and it has been proven incorrect.

funny that you would think i could be defensive about my height. i can't see any reason to care that i am short. the only negative in my life so far is that i can't reach the top shelf in my cupboards. but conversely, i always have enough leg room even in a crammed seat. so in my experience the positives and negatives are about equal so far.

p.s. your claim that millions of people must share your experience is based on... absolutely nothing. and millions of people agree with me on that point.