Can you meet someone in college?

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zeldapsychology
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07 Jan 2011, 6:41 pm

Dad says I should join a church group and I will not find anyone just sitting in my room or in college. (I'm returning to the Campus but not until August/September (I did online for Fall 2010 and am doing online for Spring 2011) I believe you CAN meet someone at college and it'd be nice if it was someone on the same intelectual level basically someone who thought like me. (Not the exact same interest but interests I find interesting as well.) and other such stuff (I've described my ideal in past relationship posts I've made.) :-)



LostAlien
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07 Jan 2011, 6:49 pm

It's possible but you need some form of social outlet. By doing things you will meet more people than you otherwise might. College on it's own (as in just your course) limits things somewhat depending on your social ability. Places where people need to talk have a higher possibility of friendships forming in my opinion.


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astaut
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07 Jan 2011, 7:26 pm

You can definitely find someone in college. But I think I remember you being in community college/commuting somewhere but living at home, which makes it a lot harder to meet people/make friends. I went to junior college last year and I always say it's like 13th grade :P This year I went away to school, living in the dorm, all that stuff, and it's so much more community like. Much easier to meet people.

I agree that if you're just going to class during the day and going back home at night, it will be difficult to meet people. I won't say it's impossible, but I certainly didn't and would have a very hard time at it. If you're unable to move on campus/out of your family's home, I would consider joining some student clubs or extracurriculars.

*edit* the guy I'm currently seeing met me at college (and he's never had a gf before), but we he doesn't live on campus and isn't involved in anything...he had to meet me through a friend.


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nthach
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07 Jan 2011, 8:42 pm

Depends on the school. I go to a commuter school which is a hipster infested hellhole. I regret screwing up at the community college level. My life is full of regrets, basically. :(



Mindslave
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07 Jan 2011, 9:11 pm

Of course you can meet people at college. You have to want to meet people (which is my problem- I don't want to meet people as much as I think I do) so the first step is putting yourself in a position to meet people. They aren't going to come to you any more then you will come to them. And that's how friendship starts. One person takes the initiative. You think NTs aren't scared of making friends too? They are, in many ways worse than us.



inconelx
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08 Jan 2011, 9:24 am

zeldapsychology wrote:
Dad says I should join a church group and I will not find anyone just sitting in my room or in college. (I'm returning to the Campus but not until August/September (I did online for Fall 2010 and am doing online for Spring 2011) I believe you CAN meet someone at college and it'd be nice if it was someone on the same intelectual level basically someone who thought like me. (Not the exact same interest but interests I find interesting as well.) and other such stuff (I've described my ideal in past relationship posts I've made.) :-)


Well, from my observations at Florida colleges, it can happen, but it favors the socialy bold, and in many cases the imature as*holes.

I personally never experienced such, but Ive never had any sort of date.


So yeah, it can happen, but I wouldnt count on it, and at least in my age group, successfully finding a date requires one to take the initatave.



happymusic
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08 Jan 2011, 9:29 am

I met tons of people in college because of the dorms. I met my husband my freshman year and knew I liked him the minute I laid eyes on him. Honestly, I don't know how people meet others outside of college.



Gallygun
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08 Jan 2011, 10:04 am

OP, I can tell you that I went to college for 2 years, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it socially.

I met a few people of the same gender who seemed to enjoy the occasional chit-chat, and one person who actually wanted my phone number (as a friend), but after I left the community college, I lost all contact with everyone.

I never had anyone ask me on a date, though, and I'm not ugly!

But I never had the opportunity to live in dorms; the 2 year and 4 year I was or am attending don't offer them.


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spongy
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08 Jan 2011, 10:39 am

You can meet someone at college, same way you can meet someone elsewhere.

I spent my two first months of college focused on the classes and guess what I made no friends.

After that I started making some sort of attempt to socialize and things improved a lot.

My problem is that my degree lacks of females, but there are several other degrees near that arent male dominated so I could theoretically meet a partner at college if I wasnt too shy to flirt with a girl a barely know.


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inconelx
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08 Jan 2011, 10:40 am

happymusic wrote:
I met tons of people in college because of the dorms. I met my husband my freshman year and knew I liked him the minute I laid eyes on him. Honestly, I don't know how people meet others outside of college.



Sadly my experience with dorms involved harassment and vandalism.



wefunction
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08 Jan 2011, 10:41 am

I met the man who became my husband at college. Our friends situated themselves at a table that happened to put us sitting next to each other.



zeldapsychology
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08 Jan 2011, 12:43 pm

That's cool. Perhaps putting myself out there more (a little bit atleast) as in joining the Psychology Club and I can still be my obsessive self just turn my paper in to the teacher directly as not to upset other students and keep my excitment for the course work to myself. :-) While I am still coping from my 1 bad college experience I think learning of AS my issues with it etc. have helped me understand (or at least I think I understand) what I need to change next time around.) :-)



menintights
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08 Jan 2011, 12:53 pm

Are you fairly involved in college?

I spent most of my free time in college in a seven-floor library reading obscure books that normal people didn't care about, and every time someone began to notice me and tried to strike a conversation with me I made sure to avoid that floor until (I assumed) that person was no longer around.

Suffice it to say I didn't meet as many people in college as I could have had.

Also:

Quote:
I believe you CAN meet someone at college and it'd be nice if it was someone on the same intelectual level basically someone who thought like me.


College kids aren't all that smart. I doubt you'd have anything to lose by joining a church group and meeting people who don't go to college.

Quote:
But I never had the opportunity to live in dorms; the 2 year and 4 year I was or am attending don't offer them.


You didn't miss out on much. I live in the dorms for two years and the only thing I got was how annoying and petty people can be.



inconelx
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08 Jan 2011, 3:00 pm

What part of Florida will you be going to, I'm in orlando.



Brainiac5
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08 Jan 2011, 3:03 pm

Sure you can, as long as you're NT.



ToadOfSteel
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08 Jan 2011, 3:25 pm

happymusic wrote:
I met tons of people in college because of the dorms. I met my husband my freshman year and knew I liked him the minute I laid eyes on him. Honestly, I don't know how people meet others outside of college.


I wish I knew... I had to commute to college (there was no way I could afford room and board on top of the tuition, and I was already shopping around for the cheapest tuition possible), and as such I never got into that kind of "college life"...



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