Is it easier for aspie women than aspie men?

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Sallamandrina
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30 Dec 2010, 9:14 pm

Mojave wrote:
I think in general women do have it a bit easier than men on the spectrum in terms of dating, and the reason for this is i have noticed that women on the spectrum do not exhibit the same stereotypical symptoms of low social skills that men have; however many women on the spectrum exhibit very strong emotional problems that men on the spectrum do not have. So that is that trade off. To answer your question, as far as dating is concerned I think females on the spectrum do have it a bit easier.


It's the opposite with me - I'm emotionally stable and never had major problems in the area, but my social skills seem sub-par even for someone on the spectrum. When I first joined here I was very surprised by the complexity and ability some posters show in the way they interact with each other. I worked very very hard for a long time to built coping mechanism in this area and I still don't have a real understanding most of the time - I just go through the motions and have learned what's expected of me, but that's all.

Also, quite a few of the male regulars in the L&D seem extremely disturbed emotionally speaking.

I think dating was easier for me as an individual because I never cared one bit what others think of me and although I wanted love and acceptance I've never been as desperate as some seem to be and I didn't mind that much being lonely or single.


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Kilroy
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30 Dec 2010, 9:34 pm

yeah there is more then a few messed up individuals on the forum



WintersTale
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30 Dec 2010, 10:22 pm

Kilroy wrote:
yeah there is more then a few messed up individuals on the forum


Like...?


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Kilroy
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30 Dec 2010, 10:25 pm

if I say who, then its considered a personal attack
I am allowed to think all I want and no one can do a thing
but if I start naming names, mods get involved



Tim_Tex
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31 Dec 2010, 12:28 am

Also, a lot of it is going to be determined by how severe someone has AS, regardless of gender.

I do agree with those who said that everybody is going to have some set of problems, even if they're starkly different.


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WintersTale
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31 Dec 2010, 12:34 am

I agree with that. A severely autistic woman is bound to face the same problems as a severely autistic man.

I suppose it just boils down to luck. Many NTs struggle, as well. Just because someone has fantastic social skills, doesn't mean that he'll have hordes of women after him. On the other hand, a socially awkward Aspie just needs one woman, who's patient and kind enough to understand and love him for who he is, and there is a match made in heaven.

It really boils down to chance. Roll the dice.


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bucephalus
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31 Dec 2010, 12:53 am

WintersTale wrote:
I agree with that. A severely autistic woman is bound to face the same problems as a severely autistic man.

I suppose it just boils down to luck. Many NTs struggle, as well. Just because someone has fantastic social skills, doesn't mean that he'll have hordes of women after him. On the other hand, a socially awkward Aspie just needs one woman, who's patient and kind enough to understand and love him for who he is, and there is a match made in heaven.

It really boils down to chance. Roll the dice.


I'm still shaking the dice :D



astaut
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31 Dec 2010, 1:08 am

We have soooo many of these threads already.

There's really no way to determine who it's "easier" for, and we don't even have a way to define what "easy" is...it's something different for everyone. There could be a ton of reasons why you see more comments about women being in happy relationships.


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Zur-Darkstar
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31 Dec 2010, 1:11 am

TallyMan wrote:
emlion wrote:
Oh no, here comes another 'men have it so difficult' thread. :roll:


+1. My thoughts exactly.


I third this sentiment. I'm really tired of the negativity.



Space
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31 Dec 2010, 1:57 am

yes, this should be obvious?



zen_mistress
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31 Dec 2010, 3:35 am

Volodja wrote:
This whole thing is stupid. How can a man know how hard it is for women (or vice versa)?


A hermaphrodite might know.


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31 Dec 2010, 10:02 am

zen_mistress wrote:
Volodja wrote:
This whole thing is stupid. How can a man know how hard it is for women (or vice versa)?


A hermaphrodite might know.


Lol. XD

Seriously though, a hermaphrodite would have a completely different set of problems that neither men nor women experience. D:



menintights
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31 Dec 2010, 2:09 pm

Pretty sure a hermaphrodite who's been going to a support forum not unlike WP wouldn't appreciate being used as a punchline of an inside joke.



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31 Dec 2010, 2:51 pm

Space wrote:
yes, this should be obvious?

you mena it should be obvious that it is easier for aspie women? if you really think that, then all i can say is that it's not a big surprise that you are male. if you were female i doubt you would think this way.



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03 Jan 2011, 1:04 am

What I get sick of are the incessant assertions that it's somehow easier for women because all we have to do is look attractive.

Being blessed with good looks is a positive regardless of gender or whether one is Aspie or NT-

what the hell does it have to do with the much larger group of ANY demographic that is average or even ugly? :?


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Brainiac5
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04 Jan 2011, 1:07 pm

Erisad wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
emlion wrote:
Oh no, here comes another 'men have it so difficult' thread. :roll:


+1. My thoughts exactly.


Same. I had to bust my ass to get the relationship I have now. I was rejected countless times but I kept trying and it worked. Besides, life isn't on easy street once you have a relationship. It introduces many new problems in addition to the blessings. Each gender has their pros and cons. Deal with it. :/


Again, the assumption that if I don't have a GF, that's because I'm not trying. I've busted my ass as hard as I'm sure you have yours, and I have a 7 year lead on you, and with the exception of one woman who just looking someone easy to manipulate, I still have never gotten anything but rejection.