Take on why males have more trouble.. in general

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Please forgive us, but in fairness, how could we possibly measure-up to a Megastud such as yourself? We are not worthy...

You've probably got 5-6 women clawing at your underpants as we speak, why don't you take pity on one of them?

Actually it's just 2 at the moment. Getting 6 women clawing at my underpants simultaneously involves kissing too much ass, 4 is hard enough for me.

@billsmithglendale, I think the miscommunication here is related to your use of the word leer. I was using the following definitions of the word:

"A desirous, sly, or knowing look.
To give an oblique, sneering, or suggestive look or grin."

The key element here is being obvious - not just stealing a glance, but using a look to clearly communicate sexual attraction. Stealing a glance doesn't bother me at all. As a matter of fact, when I'm on the receiving end, I'm usually kinda flattered by the attention - but part of that flattery is because my "admirer" has enough respect not to openly ogle me. My problem with being openly ogled is that, frankly, it's intrusive. When I'm at work, I don't want to know when a co-worker is thinking about banging me or what I'd look like on my knees - cause I'm there to work. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and fantasies, but when I receive an unwanted tour of some stranger's or worse, a co-worker....yuck.

I'm definitely not oblivious to guys creeping a sneak peak. But the men I work with are subtle - and I appreciate that. I'm pretty sure every one of them has pictured me naked - because that's kinda what most men do. From everything I've ever read, to every guy I've ever dated, that type of fantasizing is pretty typical. It's such an automatic reaction that it doesn't even necessarily indicate sexual desire....it's more like a, "Nice to meet you. I wonder what color her bra is...."

As far as whether you deserve flak for "leering" - that's between you and your wife. IMO, the thing that I wouldn't like about being with a man who openly looks at other women is: 1) it would feel humiliating to me, and 2) you know, leering at a real live girl is really not like looking a porn. I'm a pretty porn-positive person, because from my perspective, porn is just the kindling (pics or videos or whatever) that gets the fire burning. No one actually has sex with a video or a pic. But when you ogle a real woman, well.....you never really know how that's going to end up, do you? Even with the best intentions, can anyone honestly say they'd know exactly what they'd do if the woman they ogled turned around and shoved her number in your hand? Some women get off on cheating, home-wrecking, etc. What if she's one of those? I think there's a risk to ogling women IRL that just isn't there with porn.

You're right, it was a definition thing. We started out with someone else saying "perved" (I think hale bopp), and then moved on to leer. I think maybe my own definition of leer is maybe not correct, so thanks for making that more explicit.

True enough, RE: the rest of your argument above.

Yea, like Nissan's any better. Nissan sucks, even a damn HYUNDAI or an Obamamobile(anything GM or Chrysler) is better than Nissan. We've got a 1996 Quest that's good for nothing except burning gas and oil, chewing through tires and schlepping goods from Home Depot and Costco.

And you're lucky that you're better off than 99.9% of this goddamn place with women.

Better off is relative. You want women all over you because you don't have women all over you. Then you have women all over you and it's not good enough. You start wanting all the sex and none of the drama, emotions, and all that.

I won't even get into cars, you seem to learn everything you know from commercials.

Maybe this is "unaspie-ish" of me..but I get lonesome. I can be lonesome when in a relationship..But throughout my life it has seemed that my scant options for friendship tend to include people I am romantically involved with. um....BELIEVE me that is not my PRIMARY interest...but it is something that helps keep me going..My special interests are another can o worms..I spend every day feeling alone when I am involluntarilly surrounded by people..all of whom drive me mad..When I am completely by myself..I feel almost as thought I don't exist...I was also conditioned from an early age blah blah blah..I have spent many hours alone with very intense hobbies..but in my current circumstance..I am unable to do that..hard to explain...I WISH I could do that again...I wish I could set up my rocking chair and prepare myself for a life of celibate spinsterhood where I care not about my looks and the horrible jumbled up self consciousness/loathing that might accompany my romantic fixations..but I am a person with very few friends...and I have the need for something..(this perhaps brings my "aspieness" into question, I suppose...

Yeah, spinsterhood is a weird thing. I cant decide whether it is an exciting opportunity to fill a whole house up with cats, or travel through South America- or something very bothersome which I will kind of tolerate and wish I had some better situation.

Exactly the reason why people can be unsatisfied with their lives living in our (relatively)ridiculously wealthy society.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Re ... ce_figures