AS is a DISABILITY!

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Oh shut up. I've had love before and I shall have it again. You may never find love, but that's down to you, not Asperger's. Deal with your own issues instead of placing blame on an unrelated condition.

Well I'm here as a result of my mum (bi-polar) and dad (undiagnosed but definitely Aspergers) getting together, so I reckon love is possible whatever. Just takes a little time sometimes. Took me till I was 32 ffs and I'm (apparently) NT just didn't click with anyone.

Agreed. I'm diagnosed as AS and I've had romantic relationships (and I don't want to hear I'm a girl so it's easier for me). I've also dated an aspie guy (who had multiple romantic relationships, by the way) whom I had very strong feelings for. Maybe AS is a disability, but I've seen aspies have relationships and find love.

That isn't effective at all. You know most of this forum's denizens are dealing with this exact same problem, so there's no fruit to bare by saying 'pick yourself up by your own boot straps'. If that actually worked, none of us would be here.

yes Id say AS is a disability simply because AS affects all components of our life. Versus a difference might only affect a few components of someones life. It makes everything hard, and its not just because of the way we are viewed by others.

I can't imagine why all you guys can't find love, all this crybaby talk is so sexy.

I have AS and I'm married, so don't use that as an excuse. It most certainly is a disability, but as long as you're not DEAD, you can overcome that. But I can tell from all these negative "Woe is me" posts, that even when you find love, you're going to do nothing but complain about how it isn't what you hoped it would be, and your girlfriend doesn't understand you. You'll be happy for about a week, then you'll set to making yourselves (and your sweethearts) miserable again. And if you think not having love makes you want to kill yourself, wait until you have it and then lose it. But face the facts, you guys are never going to be happy, or ever be able to make anyone else happy, because you spend your lives wallowing in negativity and self pity.

Your situations will not change until your attitude changes.

I just feel God has cursed Aspie men. We're incapable of love, and we are void of emotion or empathy. I've had my ass handed to me so many times. I feel like I'm a failure at life.

Threads like this are a$$hole magnets.

Best to just ignore them...

Good points, and I agree that many NT's are perhaps just as SOL as we are but willing to take the plunge with the wrong people - likely that we've had some really revolting experience with just dealing with the wrong people socially and would never want to give up our autonomies to someone who doesn't understand us at least at a minimum level. I think there are many out there for everyone, the more of an outlier that you happen to be the fewer they are, and thus the less your likelihood of finding them in in any practical sense.



Its tempting to jump on that bandwagon but I don't think that's what it is. Hope and need are driving these guys crazy and they're trying to shut that inner voice up. I've had plenty of times in the past where I had this conversation with myself and that's exactly what it was.

As for your luck - congratulations - however, make no mistake, the effect of attitude is minimum if its brought in from nowhere, similar to the odds of people talking like they are in this thread just by being self-chosen victims without having it beat into them that the world doesn't care what kind of attitude they have to bring to the table. Plenty of people can put on a great positive attitude and get somewhere, plenty can do so and come up with nothing. The world treats people differently, drastically so. If you were an inch taller, shorter, slightly different facial features, it really could have changed your whole life. IMO we can enjoy our successes but I've never really seen "If I can so can you" type thoughts on any side of things work out to be true. I'm quite certain that if any of these guys were you they'd be you, different neurological pivots and sortings of life experience make quite an impact.

All of the people on here with AS who are married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend immediately strike down your proclamation.

It is not a disability any more than it is to be short in a world of tall people, or tall in a world of short people.

This reminds me a bit of a program on TV I saw where some young artists got to visit with some successful older artists. (Though some of the "older" artists were only 30 years old.) The young ones would ask what the older ones did in order to become successful. The older ones would give vague answers about working hard and not giving up. Upon talking further, a lot of these older artists mentioned meeting by chance someone in a cab or through a mutual friend someone who was critical to their "big break." They seemed to talk as if they thought that everyone at some point has that happen (probably because once they hit the "big time" all of their (new) peers also had such experiences). None of the 30-something artists said they felt lucky. The older ones seemed more careful, but none of them said it outrightly, ether.

So, people may know how they got to where they are, but then again they might be more clueless about it than they realize. If someone tried hard and got a haircut before their big break happened, they'll give the advice to be successful you need to try hard and get a haircut. And if someone isn't successful, then 'obviously' they have a problem with trying and/or getting a haircut, and that will be flabberghasting, since trying and getting a haircut isn't that hard.

Oh god... I know what you feel. But I can't give in just yet...

I have had some success with women, but someone who would make a good long term partner? True love? That's much more difficult to achieve.

I try and just accept me for me, decide to believe that I AM THE PRIZE, and if the woman doesn't see that, then too bad.

In the mean time, I make money, work hard, try and get women when I can...

If all else fails I can just move to thailand when I'm older and rich and can get all the sex I want and live comfortably.

oh my the misery here... even though i am on the sprectrum I really can't care about it not finding love. Kinda hard not to laught at the griping of others sometimes. The only advice I can really even give anymore is don't give up and if all else fails, at least you have a hand, so use it...

What, did Tinker Bell come back to life just because you believed and started clapping?

Some people just will never be in a relationship, sorry. Accept that, get over it, and move on. Life's too short to be pining for something you'll never have.



Can't that also be taken as that while he's able to get a girlfriend, he's not able to stay that long with her?

Sometimes I feel "what's the point in loving someone? There's nothing special about love, the only point of it is to get us to make babies to continue our species." but I don't think it's true. For the other times, I feel that someone truly caring about you, and having someone to share your life with, is special. But I yearn for love.

For all the times i've been told that I "don't even know what love is," I have to doubt that I can or will find love or even that I do really know what it is. Maybe they are right, maybe I don't.